Thursday, July 24, 2014

He went out and wept bitterly


 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

- Matthew 26:69-75

Yesterday, we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  My study bible points out that at this crucial time, this episode is a "type", an icon or image of Eve coming to Adam with temptation (Genesis 3:6).  This time, it is Peter who is tempted to deny Christ, something he swore he would never do.  In Christ, this picture or icon is overcome (as an icon of our fallen state) when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection.

 But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  My study bible quotes Ambrose of Milan:  "Through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

What does it mean to face our own immaturity, unpreparedness, or lack of something to rise to an occasion the way we would like to?  In this case, Peter isn't just lacking something.  In fact, he's going against his word, and in effect, betraying Christ.  His denial of Christ was fully predicted to him by Jesus -- and yet, Peter still failed to be the person he wanted to be.  We see so much failure at these stages in the Gospel.  There is the "failure" of Judas to be a loyal disciple, even though hand-picked by Christ.  (See John 6:70.)   There is the "failure" of Jesus' ministry in the eyes of the world as He is railroaded with a phony trial and false witnesses, and declared worthy of death by the Sanhedrin.  As the disciples scatter, there is the "failure" of this movement to stand together.  There is so much "failure" here from a worldly perspective.  But life in abundance doesn't know failure.  Resurrection does not know failure.  Even in Peter's tears of repentance and recognition of his failure, there is Resurrection.  There is the power of what St. Ambrose says purges "that which cannot be defended" -- to "wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."  Every part of this ministry is a success because of the life it has brought into the world, a renewal, even in an act of bitter tears.  God's love redeems everything.  And this is really important to remember in every one of our failures.  A relationship dies from neglect, we recognize something we've done that hurt another, or let ourselves down.  It just doesn't matter what the failure.  It could be a job, an investment, perhaps we spend our lives racked with guilt for something we couldn't change.  Whatever it is, the real perspective of Christ turns it around, just as the image of women being the first to spread the word of Resurrection changed completely the image of the woman holding an apple in the Garden.  Christ's ministry doesn't know failure, wherever we are and whatever has happened.  One's life is still one's life and that is material enough for the power of Resurrection, inside of any kind of prison, self-imposed or otherwise, even past our fears, and failures.  Let us remember this power that is always making all things new, no matter what we suffer through, how we disappoint ourselves or are disappointed in the world.  The renewal remains with us, in Him.