"Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. Now when evening came, he was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid."

And Peter answered him and said, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." So he said, "Come." And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" And immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

When they had crossed over, they came to the land of Gennesaret. And when the men of that place recognized him, they sent out into all that surrounding region, brought to him all who were sick, and begged him that they might only touch the hem of his garment. And as many as touched it were made perfectly well.

- Matthew 14:22-36

As in yesterday's reading, Jesus starts off to go to a place by himself to pray. After the feeding of the five thousand, Jesus sends his disciples out to the other side of the Sea of Galilee in a boat, while he goes by himself to the mountain to pray.

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he sent the multitudes away. And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. Now when evening came, he was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. My study bible notes that this miracle implies the divinity of Jesus the Messiah, because he holds dominion over nature. In some way, this miracle, coming after the feeding of the five thousand, is a counterpart to the latter. He feeds with spiritual bread for all - he comes to his disciples across the waters. It is an expansion of the dimensions of nature in some sense: he can multiply the food to feed us, he can travel across the water to be with us. The "fourth watch" is very early in the morning (about 3 A.M.).

And when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, "It is a ghost!" And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid." My study bible notes, "In saying to the disciples, be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid, he is also assuring us. He will be with his people in the midst of the storms of life (28:20)." I think at about 3 A.M. in the midst of a fearsome storm I might be frightened enough already, without seeing my Lord or Teacher walking toward me on the water! I just might believe that must be a ghost as well, especially if all of my companions are seeing the same thing. To me, this hour of 3 A.M. is important: it is often a time when our own emotions take a toll, and anxieties and fears can unleash themselves in ways they don't at other times of day. F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote (in the novel, "The Crack-Up"), "In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning." This is speaking to us of spiritual crisis - the night of fear and all that stands in the way of communion with God, so that one feels unable to be aware of God's presence.

And Peter answered him and said, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." So he said, "Come." St. Peter always seems to express for us a most childlike emotionality in his exuberance. It doesn't matter what the situation, his emotions come to the fore and he expresses possibly what the other disciples are thinking. My study bible notes that "Come" (v. 29) is the call of Christ in the midst of turmoil. Here, it is almost a challenge altogether -- "If it's really you, let me walk on the water too."

And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, "Lord, save me!" My study bible says, "After Peter cries, Lord, save me, Jesus does just that. How clearly the Son of God answers prayer -- including this, the shortest prayer in the Bible. The oft-repeated liturgical refrain, 'Lord, have mercy,' is this same prayer; the Jesus Prayer, 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner,' is an expansion of it." Jesus answered Peter's challenge with a gift, encouraging Peter to "come" forward. But Peter's fears get the better of him when he looks at his circumstances, and the "boisterous wind." Again, we have his child-likeness, which essentially means that he is like all of us in a certain place inside ourselves. It is a great and important thing that he is so; he is our example of the transforming power of Spirit and true discipleship. When he begins to fail, he cries for help, as we do when we are helpless and returned to our child state: "Lord, save me!" This is also us, and importantly so.

And immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" My study bible notes that the Greek term for doubt here means wavering, hesitation, or vacillation. It continues, "Peter is not denying the faith, but he hesitates and weakens because he has taken his eyes off Christ and focused on the storm." An important metaphor for faith, this is illustrative of the life in the faith, in prayer, essentially. While we are strong in faith, in that relationship that pushes us forward, asks us to take risks and go toward the growth asked of us, we will always be called to grow and expand, to be what we can be. But looking at our circumstances with "worldly" eyes, we may shrink with doubt and render ourselves stunned in the midst of the task - as my study bible notes, wavering, hesitating, vacillating.

And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." My study bible says that this is the first time the Apostles confess faith in Jesus as the Son of God. "They know, as did the wise men before them (2:11), that only God should be worshiped." Jesus up until this time has referred to himself as the "Son of Man," a messianic title from the book of Daniel. This, finally, is the recognition of his status by his apostles. Of course, we understand the power of the miracle of walking on the water. But perhaps even more important to this story is the drama of saving the ones he loves from their own doubts and fear, of giving faith.

When they had crossed over, they came to the land of Gennesaret. And when the men of that place recognized him, they sent out into all that surrounding region, brought to him all who were sick, and begged him that they might only touch the hem of his garment. And as many as touched it were made perfectly well. Finally, an affirmation of deep faith. We have seen this type of faith before, in the woman with the years-long flow of blood, who had the faith to simply touch the hem of his garment, and whom Jesus called "Daughter." In that story, Jesus told her, "Daughter, your faith has made you well." And we are once again, here, back in the territory of the power of faith. It is faith that this story is all about - walking on the water is the setting for the drama of faith. These people understand faith so deeply that they merely need to touch the hem of his garment. Peter needed to be saved. But all is a story of faith - and the power unleashed thereby through communion, touching, coming together, with God - in this case, God as Son of God, in whom the Father presents himself to us, to the world.

How is the power of faith at work in your life? Do not forget this drama of faith, of Peter crying out to be saved. It is the connection, the prayer, that matters. We need not be perfect - we need instead the relationship, friendship, reaching out to one in whom we have faith that he loves us. We ask to be saved when we need help. We are all children of God, and our faith and hope and prayers may come out as a child's, when the Person we turn to is the one whose love we count on. Don't be ashamed of that place, that faith. It is the connection we need to something beyond ourselves which shares its love and its spiritual strength with us. This doesn't work in predictable ways we understand; but its spark is connected to us through our reaching out, through prayer. Love is there. In the dark night of the soul, at 3 A.M., we may not always know "without doubt" that it is there. But it is in that time when we pray that we may plant a seed of faith that bears great fruit in our lives.