Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that He had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, "I have sinned by betraying innocent blood"

 

 When morning came, all the chief priests and elders of the people plotted against Jesus to put Him to death.  And when they had bound Him, they led Him away and delivered Him to Pontius Pilate the governor.  

Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that He had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, "I have sinned by betraying innocent blood."  And they said, "What is that to us?  You see to it!"  Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hanged himself.  But the chief priests took the silver pieces and said, "It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, because they are the price of blood."  And they consulted together and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in.  Therefore that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day.  Then was fulfilled what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying, "And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the value of Him who as priced, whom they of the children of Israel priced, and gave them for the potter's field, as the LORD directed me."

 

- Matthew 27:1–10 

 

Yesterday we read that, as Jesus was on trial inside the home of the high priest, Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

 

 When morning came, all the chief priests and elders of the people plotted against Jesus to put Him to death.  And when they had bound Him, they led Him away and delivered Him to Pontius Pilate the governor.  My study Bible explains that while the religious Law dictated the death penalty for blasphemers (Leviticus 24:16), under Roman occupation, the Jews were prohibited from carrying out an execution.  Thus, they had to get permission from the governor.  

 

 Then Judas, His betrayer, seeing that He had been condemned, was remorseful and brought back the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, "I have sinned by betraying innocent blood."  And they said, "What is that to us?  You see to it!"  Then he threw down the pieces of silver in the temple and departed, and went and hanged himself.  But the chief priests took the silver pieces and said, "It is not lawful to put them into the treasury, because they are the price of blood."  And they consulted together and bought with them the potter's field, to bury strangers in.  Therefore that field has been called the Field of Blood to this day.  Then was fulfilled what was spoken by Jeremiah the prophet, saying, "And they took the thirty pieces of silver, the value of Him who as priced, whom they of the children of Israel priced, and gave them for the potter's field, as the LORD directed me."  My study Bible contrasts Judas' state with that of St. Peter.  Peter repented in his sorrow (see yesterday's reading, above, "And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, 'Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times.'  So he went out and wept bitterly").  Judas is remorseful but does not repent.  My study Bible comments that suicide is not a sign of repentance but of being self-absorbed.  There are two accounts of Judas' suicide in the New Testament, here and in Acts 1:16-19. 

 

 My study Bible contrasts the response of Judas with the response of Peter.  Peter is repentant, but Judas is remorseful.  So we have to consider what the difference is.  In one instance, that of Peter, a repentant Peter understands that he has failed not just himself, but he has also failed to heed the word of Christ.  He's repentant in this sense by knowing that his own confidence in himself was misplaced, and comes to recognize himself in the eyes of God.  Indeed, as we remarked in yesterday's commentary upon the reading that included Peter's three-time denial, in Luke's reporting of that story, Peter's repentance and bitter tears come because of a glance from Jesus (Luke 22:61).  But Judas' remorse, in contrast, is one that does not turn back to Christ, but only to himself.  My study Bible comments that suicide portends self-absorption.  What we find is that Judas in some sense punishes himself, and judges himself -- and does not come to Christ for His judgment.  To feel remorse may happen for all kinds of reasons.  We do not necessarily fully know Judas' remorse.  It may be straightforward that he feels a deep guilt, recognizing that he has betrayed innocent blood.  Some speculate that he thought the arrest of Jesus would inspire some sort of rebellion.  But what we do know is that he has taken it upon himself to be judge and jury, and to mete out a kind of punishment, to declare his own life over and end it himself.  But it gives us a great lesson:  that to collapse in our own remorse over a failing, even over an act for which we feel great guilt and regret, is not the same as coming to our Lord in confession and repentance.  For in doing the latter, we seek God, even through the worst of our own times in life, even in the midst of our own failings. There we find real repentance, for we open the capacity for a change of mind and heart, for illumination as to how to go forward, replacing despair, and seeking only the will of God for ourselves instead of our own judgment.  Perhaps it is at the times we are most broken and discouraged that we might find our greatest gift of grace awaits.  For turning to Christ we will find the resurrection He offers to us, and how to bear our own cross.  Judas does not do this, and so his woe is complete, as foretold by Christ. It teaches us that to allow ourselves to feel the despair brought on by self-recrimination isn't good or healthy.  Our lives are not meant to be saturated in punishment we can mete out to ourselves, but for a true change of heart that turns to God even when we're tempted to despair.  Let us consider what Judas' suicide teaches us, and the mindfulness we need amidst our own failures.  Self-flagellation and punishing ourselves isn't fruitful in God's sight; it doesn't correct nor do what we need.  We turn to Christ, and ask for His light, to show us the way and what we need to change, giving us His way instead of our own hopeless despair.