Who is my mother and who are my brothers?

"When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation."

While he was still talking to the multitudes, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with him. Then one said to him, "Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with you." But he answered and said to the one who told him, "Who is my mother and who are my brothers?" And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."

- Matthew 12:43-50

Jesus continues his dialogue with the Pharisees and scribes. Yesterday, the scribes and Pharisees asked him for a sign to prove that he is Messiah (see Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks). Jesus replied in an echoed prophetic tone (from the Old Testament): "An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign." In today's reading, he continues his speech to the Pharisees and scribes.

"When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order. Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation." My study bible has a note on this passage: "When, by the mercy of God, the Israelites were delivered out of Egypt, they did not repent of their impure ways, and unclean spirits again took up residence in them (Deut. 31:20; 32:15-18; Ps. 106:34-39). The same happens here. Unless there is full-hearted repentance and the Holy Spirit dwells in a person, the expelled demon will return with many others and reoccupy its abode." Jesus seems to be saying that - again - our choices are most important. Without consciousness, an awareness of what we are doing with open heart (as opposed to hard-heartedness), we slip into an unawareness that drags us down more deeply along the wrong road. Repentance (Gk. metanoia - "change of mind") is that state of being spiritually awake to how we need to grow, and hence to change. Hard-heartedness conveys a rigidity that causes us only to deepen our error because of what we cannot see. In this model of spiritual choice, we don't stand still. Life moves with us or without us; we make our choices in that flow, and they are of paramount significance to our own direction.

While he was still talking to the multitudes, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, seeking to speak with him. Then one said to him, "Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with you." But he answered and said to the one who told him, "Who is my mother and who are my brothers?" And he stretched out his hand toward his disciples and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." My study bible notes, "Jesus' relatives have not understood his identity and mission. He points to a spiritual family based on obedience to the will of my Father (v. 50). In Jewish usage 'brother' may also signify a stepbrother or other relative. " Regardless of the debate over Jesus' family relations (whether or not Mary had other children), the point of Jesus' words here is not lost. It little matters whether or not he is speaking of the brotherhood of immediate siblings or extended family relations. He is, in effect, breaking up the notion that immediate family is all there is to "family." There is a more important family that he has in mind. His family is that of those who "do the will of my Father in heaven." That is, for Jesus, "family" is conveyed through the relationship to the Father in faith and in action. If we seek to be related, therefore, to Christ, then we will seek that will for ourselves. We "pray to our Father who is in the secret place" - so that we may seek His will for ourselves, and be siblings, relatives, family to Christ. We seek to know and to do that will, as he did.

How do we come away from this passage, today's reading, understanding it in its entirety? Can we make sense of the juxtaposition of these two passages - in which Jesus finishes his talk with the scribes and Pharisees, and also responds to those telling him that his mother and brothers are waiting to speak with him? How do they fit together? It seems to me that Jesus is pointing the way to appropriate choices, and to relationship with him. We choose to seek that will of the Father or we don't. These are the two directions in the road; that fixed point from which we either run in one direction or follow along toward as best we can is, in fact, "the will of our Father in heaven." Jesus will always point toward the Father as the true good, the ultimate teacher of identity, of all reality. In this case, it is the Father that conveys relationship to all of us. In the reality of that will of the Father, we become Jesus' brother and sister and mother. This is the fixed point toward which we gravitate, to "come to ourselves" (as did the prodigal son in Jesus' parable, see Luke 15:17-19), in which find our identity. Hard-heartedness, then, or the failure to cultivate spiritual eyes and ears so that we perceive and understand spiritual wisdom, is the failure to find our true selves. We lose authenticity, we run away from the place of ultimate reality, this fixed point of the Father. What do you seek to find in life? How do you find yourself? How do you "come to yourself?" Repentance, in this scheme of things, this picture of life Christ presents to us through these gospels, becomes a series of choices in which we seek that will - and in so doing, we "come to ourselves." How do you "find yourself" today? How do we run the other way?