Surely you also are one of them

Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee." But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying." And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth." But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the man!" And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you." Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the man!" Immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly.

- Matthew 26:69-75

While Jesus is being tried by the leadership in the temple, before the high priest Caiaphas, Peter sits outside in the courtyard. In yesterday's reading, we read of Jesus' trial before the chief priests, scribes, elders and all the council. We were told: Peter followed him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard. And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end. Today, we find what happened with Peter in that courtyard.

Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee." But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying." Peter's heart is, as usual, in the right place. But his nerve fails him. So often in the gospels, Peter is our example of humanity - the spirit that is willing but with "weak flesh." Peter's great weakness is his emotionality, his changeability. But it is also something that makes him supremely human, and for that we can be most grateful. Just as our Lord himself suffered as a weak human being, was made vulnerable to all the assaults the world can offer to us, Peter has his own human character weaknesses. Too often, he believes that his strength comes from himself alone. As spokesman for the apostles, who will later be "first among equals," Peter is our gift to us in his weakness as is our Lord. He will be transformed - as Jesus predicted by giving him the name "Rock" (which is what Petros/Petra means in Greek and Aramaic). But now we have the story of his weakness, his betrayal or denial of Christ.

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth." But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the man!" So, two servant girls have already been enough for Peter to lose his nerve and deny Christ twice. In Saturday's reading, Jesus predicted to his disciples, "All of you will be made to stumble because of me this night, for it is written: 'I will strike the Shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.' " Peter and all the other disciples denied it "vehemently," we were told. Peter, at least, has tried to keep his promise by following Jesus to the courtyard of the high priest. But a servant girl is enough to unnerve his resolution.

And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you." Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the man!" Because Peter is a Galilean, as were so many of Jesus' followers, he speaks with an accent that reflects where he is from. When Jesus predicted that they would be scattered, Peter told him, "Even if all are made to stumble because of you, I will never be made to stumble." Yet, three times now, Peter has even sworn an oath that he does not know Jesus - even before a servant girl, he cannot contain his nerve, nor his resolution. On Saturday, we read: Jesus said to him, "Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." Peter said to him, "Even if I have to die with you, I will not deny you!" And so said all the disciples.

Immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly. My study bible notes here: "What is the proper response after sinning severely? Peter wept bitterly, beginning a process of repentance, confession, forgiveness, reconciliation and renewal. ... 'A broken and contrite heart -- these, O God, You will not despise' (Ps. 51:17)." Note the difference, also, between Peter and Judas. Judas did not repent although he had the chance to. Jesus held out the possibility of forgiveness and reconciliation to him in announcing his betrayal - when Judas asked, "Rabbi, is it I?", in the Eucharist offered at the Last Supper, even in the Garden at his betrayal, saying, "Friend, why have you come?" But there was no turning back for Judas; this was his choice. Peter's emotionality also contains in it the seeds of a great heart. He weeps bitterly at his own failure. And this heart is what saves us. We can reconsider. We can "change our minds" which is what the word that is translated as repentance (metanoia) really means in the Greek. We can put ourselves back on the right road after we have "missed the mark" (which is what amartia, "sin" literally means). We must be able to do this in order to reconcile with God. In Peter's humanity, we find the example for us all, this great, exuberant, emotional, hot-headed, strong-willed, weak person who will become the Rock, the voice for all of the apostles.

In yesterday's reading and that of the day before, (see Tell us if you are the Christ, the Son of God! and Friend, why have you come?) we have discussed the events of the Passion and how they are a gift to us in that we worship a Lord who has walked himself through human weakness and vulnerability, who has been subjected to the injustice that the evil in the world can give to us. Today, let us be grateful also for Peter - an example of human weakness in his great emotionality, his faith in his own strength that fails him. For Peter is our example of what we, too, can be. Jesus did not choose as his Rock a singularly strong and powerful human being. Jesus chose Peter as the name for the one who revealed his faith in confession, whose heart understood the identity of the Christ. He renamed Simon "Rock" although Simon Peter is also the example we have of human exuberance, that makes great claims for himself which he cannot fulfill, who collapses in shame and embarrassment, who lacks the courage he has claimed for himself. This great example - who in his great sense of humanity speaks for all the apostles and for all of us in that sense - will truly become the Rock Jesus has named him, as we all may become through the same confession of faith. Peter, in the transformation of the Holy Spirit, will become the great leader and orator of the apostles, and he will die a martyr's death, befitting the humble and extraordinarily courageous and strong apostle he will truly be. In these Gospels, we are given gifts that are immeasurable, through the weakness of those whom we revere as saints and He who is our Lord. This is the heart of Christianity. It is all about our participation, in our weakness. It takes our faith, and we, too, become like him. That is where we take our strength, become transformed, one day at a time. But the courage and capacity to repent - and to have faith - comes from the heart that is open to higher truth. Without that, we have no chance. When we ask why our particular story, the Passion of our Lord, contains the things it does, rather than the grand finale of victory in some material sense, let us look toward the weakness endured for us, with us, and be grateful! This is where the truth is about repentance, courage, strength, falsehood and truth, the heart and love. We fight the good fight, with Him, with Peter. I believe that this story is uniquely powerful enough to give us all of that, to teach us who we are and who we can be.

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:18