Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?

Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.

The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her." And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

And in the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them, but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." And he took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.

- Mark 10:1-16

In yesterday's reading, Jesus continued with His thoughts from the reading of the day before. In the earlier reading, He had taught, "Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me." In yesterday's reading, He began, "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better to him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea." He taught that it would be better to cut off from oneself a hand, a foot, an eye, rather than continuing to carry in one's life whatever it is that causes one to sin. He is teaching the disciples humility; that "if anyone desires to be the first, he shall be last of all and servant of all." Three times He warns that it is better to enter the kingdom with one hand, one foot, one eye, than to be cast into fire with two. "For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt. Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another."

Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan. And multitudes gathered to him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again. We note that Christ is now once again in Judea. He has warned the disciples in private what is to happen to Him; He has also instructed them to tell to no one that He is the Christ.

The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him. And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?" They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her." The question would be a rather typical one of concern to the Pharisees and scribes. The debate about the Law and the legal basis (in Judaism) of divorce was an important one. At this time, as Jesus replies, a mere certificate from a dissatisfied man was enough to divorce a wife. So, divorcing a wife was an easy and simple matter.

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept." We should consider Jesus' words in the context of history. In the notes on Deuteronomy in my study bible, it's pointed out that Moses' concession of divorce was one that sought to prevent murder and other abuses of a wife whom a husband disliked. We should also consider economically the status of women; a divorce could mean destitution and lack of social status. In that light, a good marriage is a form of protection of women. We should read Jesus' words that follow accompanied by this understanding.

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." In Genesis, we read first of all of the union of Adam and Eve. After the Fall, there is no longer such a union as described here: rather, the woman shall fear her husband; and the husband will toil all of his life. But here, Jesus in effect restores the sacrament of marriage to the status of the first male and female in the Garden, before the Fall. "The two shall become one flesh" tells us about the nature of this union. There is no one with a greater status that lords it over the other. Rather, each gender is united in what is not simply an equal relationship, but one of such love that they are "one flesh." This is the ideal of the sacrament of marriage. It elevates both genders to equal status in love and care, and in this sense it is also inclusive of all in the world. One gender is no longer at the mercy of the other. It is important to consider the context in which He speaks, and that Jesus also tells them of "the hardness of their hearts." Furthermore, the union is one of love and mutual giving, mutual emptying to one another. In this sense, marriage has been called the layperson's way to sanctification, in which one develops a conscious understanding of spiritual virtue, especially all that turns us away from selfish or self-centered impulse. My study bible says they are "joined together in oneness by God." This joining together is similar to the bond of faith; it is a depth of unity that forms "one flesh." "Therefore," says my study bible, "marriage is a sacrament by the grace of God." In this sense, the sacrament of marriage should help us spiritually, to learn to grow closer to God in mutual love and care. This is the image of marriage that Jesus gives us, one that is consistent with the whole of the Gospel message of love. It is indeed an astonishing message. There is another issue which my study bible goes into: "The issue in this passage is not whether divorce is permissible, but whether the union between husband and wife can be broken - even when a divorce occurs." Altogether, Jesus' message is a counsel of love, love as a part of the grace of God, over and against man's "hardness of heart."

And in the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter. So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Astonishingly, this message is also one of equality. Both partners here are mutually dependent upon one another for relationship, and mutually responsible for that relationship. This will be true in many ways in the Gospels -- a mutually dependent teaching, such as "the measure you give will be the measure you get, and still more will be given you" or "if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." There is a reciprocity that continually runs through many of Jesus' teachings. My study bible points out that the case of a woman divorcing her husband was one only applicable to Gentiles, for a Jewish woman could not legally divorce her husband. Matthew's Gospel adds, "except sexual immorality" to Jesus' words here. The early Church would expand exceptions for divorce, on the grounds of a threat to a partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution. But as with all of Jesus' teachings, we must go back to the intent of the Law, the love of God. All things are for mercy; the intent of the institution is for love and mutual care, for life.

Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them, but the disciples rebuked those who brought them. But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God. Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." And he took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them. My study bible notes here: "Jesus rebukes the disciples not only because He has compassion for children, but because children are models of those who receive the kingdom. In their openness and simple trust." The care of children must also be a consideration when speaking of the bonds of love in marriage.

Today we debate marriage on many grounds in the society. But too often, it seems to me, we lose sight of Jesus' point here. At issue is quite simply the sacrament that brings us together in love, as a bond of grace, and a way of mutually growing together in love and especially toward a deepening spirituality, toward God. Can we shift our discussions to understand Jesus' depth of commitment to love and mutual care? His radical commitment to inclusion and equality must also be seen and understood here. There is a complementarity at work in this love. Even children, and the depth of care allotted to those who are least in the society, is included with this passage, just as images of children or the "little ones" formed the basis of the teachings in readings from the past two days. Altogether, we can see a thread of teaching first to the disciples about leadership and humility, and then to the issue of marriage as one of mutually emptying toward one another. There is no power struggle in this image of marriage between partners. Rather, Jesus enforces the opposite, just as he teaches that leadership in His church shall be based on servanthood. The Way for those in the Church is the Way in marriage between spouses. Can we focus on this? Can we focus on mutual love and care? As a sacrament of God, this is the grace, the gift we are given. This is the issue here. As always, Jesus' message is one of love and inclusion -- even to the little children in whose faces one must see not only Christ, but the One who sent Him. That is always the place we must draw ourselves back toward. Without the attitude of a child, the way Jesus teaches us, how do we get there?