What God has joined together, let not man separate

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

In yesterday's reading, Jesus continued His discussion with the disciples about relationships within the church community. In Wednesday's reading, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He responded with a teaching on humility, and on care of the little ones in the church. In Thursday's reading, Jesus continued with a framework for mutual correction as the model for church discipline, a working of this community. He said, "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." This formula involved a process for resolving problems within the church when one is sinned against by another, and began with private discussion. Jesus taught, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." He then described further stages for correction of the problem within the body of the church should there be no repentance. In yesterday's reading, Peter asked, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus replied, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Then He gave a parable, about a servant who owed his master an impossible sum. The master forgive him the debt when the servant asked for mercy. But then the servant found another fellow servant, who owed him far less than the debt the master forgave. This fellow servant asked for mercy, and said he could not pay. But instead of showing the compassion expressed by the master, the servant had him thrown into prison until he could pay. Jesus taught, "So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" Jesus comes to Judea, and there He meets the Pharisees, who come to test this Man with such a great following. The question is an important one to the Pharisees; from their point of view, interpretation and understanding of the commandments of the Law is everything. The question is based on interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4. This was the basis for divorce among the Jews. Ostensibly, we understand that Jesus has come into the territory where the Pharisees and all the leadership of the temple hold sway, out of Galilee. But there's a deeper pattern to Matthew's gospel here, and we will examine it.

And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." While the Pharisees are focused on the law of Moses regarding divorce, Jesus turns to the deepest understanding we have of marriage, and that comes "from the beginning," from the creation of the world, and the intent of God. Taken together with the recent teachings in Matthew's gospel regarding church community and relationship, we see here a framework for inclusion of all -- the purposes of God being to defeat the unnecessary strife in human relationships, especially the consequences of the Fall in the difficulties between men and women. We remember that in the Genesis story, after their turning away from God, Adam and Eve are told that from then on woman would fear man and have pain in childbirth, while men would toil (a word deeply associated with evil; indeed, in the Greek, it is one interpretation of the meaning of the word for evil). Here, Jesus teaches a restoration of the earliest relationship between man and woman. It is a relationship of the heart, of the deepest place of the soul, of love, where "the two become one flesh." My study bible teaches that the love in marriage is tied to love of God through the story of Adam and Eve; when the relationship with God was broken, so was the original relationship in marriage. Love begins with God. It says, "Jesus restores the marriage relationship to its original state, giving it a spiritual dimension." Therefore the emphasis here is on love.

They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." It's essential that we understand the nature of the position of woman in the historical system of the society, and regarding marriage. What is her position when divorced? She cannot easily earn a living for herself. Therefore, divorce may in fact be a form of creating destitution. Moreover, it creates one who is outcast socially in some sense; a woman would lose her social standing as well, her place in the society. This is why Christ addresses their "hardness of heart" and chastises the idea of easy divorce, for any reason at all. All that was required was a certificate of complaint. The Pharisees, however, differ among themselves on this subject, and hence, its relevance as a question. My study bible says that in the stricter school of the Pharisees, they would agree with Jesus' teaching, that divorce is acceptable only on grounds of sexual immorality. My study bible suggests that sexual immorality harms a marriage relationship. It notes, "The reasons for divorce were eventually increased in the ancient Church to include threat to one partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution." While the Church grants divorce, it notes, "it regards it as a spiritual tragedy requiring great pastoral care."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." It's interesting that for the disciples, this idea of marriage is seen with great difficulty! But we look at the focus here, and it is one of focus on the Kingdom. Jesus teaches that this is not for everybody. "Eunuchs" here is traditionally interpreted as those who are celibate. Jesus includes many for whom marriage may not be an institution of life: some born as celibates, some made that way by men (those who were castrated in order to function in a particular social role, such as a type of servant). But another group is included here, and that is those who have made themselves so for the kingdom of heaven's sake. These are those who are voluntarily celibate for the kingdom's sake, for whom a life of marriage and family is forgone in order to become servants in the Church. We can go back to Jesus' teaching (in Wednesday's reading) on the necessity of cutting off from ourselves anything that would keep us from entering the kingdom: a hand, a foot, an eye. Here again is a type of analogy to mutilation: there are those who voluntarily will live a life of celibacy in order to serve God.

Taken overall in the context of the Gospel, we can see Jesus' emphasis on community and relationship. He is establishing His Church. The institution of marriage is another form of human relationship sanctified by God, within the energies of God's love. And it is inclusive in its nature. Just as His first words to the disciples are about the essential importance of the "little ones" in the Church, their care and teaching, that their angels always behold the face of God, and that they themselves must become like a little child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven -- so also this teaching is about inclusion of all the human race. There is no greater or lesser role to play for the genders in Jesus' description of marriage. In His kingdom, He seeks to return marriage to the status of the Garden, right-relatedness with God and between all people. One does not "lord it over" the other, the two in fact become one flesh. And this is the picture of marriage as an institution that we must take with us, with the emphasis on love. Note also that it isn't for everyone, neither does Jesus insist on it as so, but rather there are those who are celibate even for the Kingdom's sake. Nowadays, we debate all kinds of other, new questions about marriage, having to do with gender and orientation. But I think that we must never lose sight of Jesus' original purpose here, and that is to restore the conditions of the Garden, the relationship between genders that is not based on hierarchy nor worldly power and rank, but on love. And that is the key to our understanding of marriage: love in the context of a loving God, and also of inclusion. This is still about His vision of community in the context of the Gospel. All begins with the love between God and human beings, and everything should serve the community of the kingdom of heaven. With the love of God in our hearts, we are taught right-relatedness to others, in community. How do you love with the heart? How do two become one flesh in God's love and a divine economy? How do you live for the sake of the kingdom of heaven? Just as with the mutual correction in the Church, so relationships take a mutual effort; we rely on one another. There is no one left out. Each must choose for themselves to do their part in this embrace of the love of God.