For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh

 

Icon of Christ the Bridegroom, courtesy Wikimedia Commons

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."   But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

 

- Matthew 19:1–12 

 

On Saturday we read that, after Christ gave the disciples a formula for Church discipline and mutual correction, Peter then came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted  to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 

  Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  Here the Pharisees come to test Christ, and choose to test Him on the subject of divorce.  This was a hotly contested subject in this time, with debates between the Pharisees and other groups of the temple leadership, often focusing on abuses such as those with financial or economic incentives.  The basis of their test is Deuteronomy 24:1-4. My study Bible comments here that God's condescension, or allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage which is revealed in Genesis 1 and 2.  With authority, it says, Christ adds His own clear prohibition against divorce.  Essentially, He does so twice.  First, when He says, "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate," and second, when He says, "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."   My study Bible tells us that the possibility of divorce on the basis of sexual immorality shows that marriage, however, can be destroyed by sin.  On that basis divorce and a second marriage have historically been seen (according to the Orthodox Church) as a concession to human weakness and corrective measure of compassion when a marriage has been broken.  In the ancient Church, permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion, but in all cases with acknowledgment to the spiritual tragedy of such a situation. 

 

 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."   But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study Bible says here that Christ steers the disciples toward understanding the holiness of virginity, not as a rejection of marriage, but in particular as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs, extremely common in the ancient world, were men who had been castrated -- either by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  They were often employed to guard women of nobility, and in many empires played extremely powerful roles.  Here, Jesus is using this term figuratively for those who freely choose committed celibacy for the kingdom of heaven.  My study Bible adds that this consecrated virginity is not to be confused with self-mutilation, which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council of the Church (AD 325).  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-38.  

At first glance, one might consider that the two topics of Christ's discourse today -- marriage and virginity -- have nothing to do with one another.  Perhaps we might say they are opposites if our focus is on sexuality alone.  We might construe a choice for lifelong celibacy as a deliberate decision not to have a life partner, but rather to remain an individual without such a dedicated relationship.  But if we think about it, the two topics in today's do share something important and even essential.  In both cases of the person who chooses monogamous, and hopefully, lifelong -- even eternal -- marriage as well as the person choosing celibacy as one of the "eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake" actually share a very important common characteristic.  In both cases, we are speaking of the dedication of one's energy and purpose in life to something beyond oneself.  In the first case to a marriage partner, in the second to serving the Church.  Each case will involve sacrifice and devotion and loyalty, and in each case one must choose that devotion of self to another, to a purpose that has to do with something other than selfish interest.  There is an important icon of Christ in the Eastern Orthodox tradition that is called Christ the Bridegroom; in Greek ὁ Νυμφίος.  It is sometimes called after Pilate's words to the crowd about the prisoner Jesus, "Behold the Man!"  (John 19:5), or in Latin, "Ecce homo."   Clearly Christ is the Bridegroom of the Church.  But in the Church that icon of Christ the Bridegroom, prisoner dressed in mocking garb, with a crown of thorns upon His head, and hands bound, is a symbol for marriage.  This is not the symbol of the modern romantic ideal, or sweet hearts and flowers, and grand moments of soaring emotion.  It is the symbol of what it means to make a marriage work:  it's an engagement in mutual sacrifice, in giving of oneself for something beyond only oneself and only one's own happiness or joy.  It is the symbol of what it is for two to become one flesh (Genesis 2:24), something forged through mutual love and self-giving.  It is a type of heroism upon which human beings and human flourishing relies.   In the context of Christ's teaching about eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, we should understand that the sacrament of marriage has often been called the layperson's way to holiness.  Just as a monastic will become a eunuch for the kingdom of heaven, in devotion to serving the Church and seeking theosis or union with God as one's highest calling, so marriage also calls us to grapple with and learn the rigors of self-giving.  Both in the case of marriage and in the case of the eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven whom Christ describes, He is speaking of what it means to be devoted in a kind of selfless love that asks of us sacrifices, giving, and eventual personal transformation for the sake of something greater.    This spirit of mutual giving is really an image of love.  Even a willingness to suffer for those whom we love, as did Christ, is something that calls us out of ourselves, and toward what it means to truly love.  So let us understand the image of Christ the Prisoner, the One who suffers for love.  For it is not to a romantic fantasy, but to the reality of what it really takes to know and live love, of how we might be called by God, both in marriage and in the Church, that we are called.  And it is indeed love that calls us there (1 John 4:8).

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate

 

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  

 

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." 

 

- Matthew 19:1-12 

 

On Saturday we read that, after Jesus had given a formula for mutual correction and reconciliation in the Church, Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." My study Bible explains that the basis of the test by these Pharisees is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  God's condescension, or allowance for human weakness, my study Bible says, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1 and 2.  With authority, Christ adds His own prohibition against divorce ("So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate"; "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery").  Additionally, my study Bible remarks that the permissible reasons for divorce in the ancient Church were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion.  Clearly, although the original intent of marriage as eternal remains, and is therefore a sacrament in the Church, the marriage bond is one that can be destroyed by sin.  In all cases, however, the spiritual tragedy of such a situation must be acknowledged.  

 

 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study Bible comments here that Christ steers the disciples toward understanding the holiness of virginity, not as a rejection of marriage, but rather as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, whether by birth defect, disease, or mutilation, and were often employed to guard women of nobility.  Indeed, in empires of the past, eunuchs employed as such a class grew to wield great power.  But Jesus uses this term figuratively for those who freely choose lifelong celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, devoting themselves to the love of God.  This is a consecrated virginity which isn't to be confused with any form of self-mutilation, which was condemned by the Church at the First Ecumenical Council (AD 325). 

 

What is the value of marriage?   In terms of the Scriptures, the very first relationship established in the Bible between human beings is that of marriage.  It comes second only to the relationship between God and human beings and other creatures.  We should remember that marriage in a Biblical context is a relationship that is mediated by God (hence it is a sacrament in the Church).  It is not simply a union between human beings alone.  In Malachi 2:13-16, the prophet reports that God laments over the abandonment or forsaking of wives; God holds the husband accountable.  My study Bible comments on that passage that, among other things, it shows that marriage brings companionship; that is, an intimate relationship and partnership between spouses.   As such we can look at marriage as the true building block and foundation of community, of society.  Possibly we should say of the kind of society that we want to have.  This is because in a good marriage we have a model and foundation for the types of relationships we wish to spread in the society.  If we keep in mind that it is the Lord also who is a part of this marriage, who mediates marriage and whose reality of love we wish to permeate and grow within the marriage, then we must come to understand that it is the quality of the relationship that makes the great difference here.  We know what abuse causes; we understand that sin of various kinds can destroy a marriage relationship, and that this has been recognized historically by the Church.  But we also must come to see that love itself requires certain standards and norms.  Love is not simply blind devotion, and neither is it the acceptance of lies or falsehoods, abusive ideologies, or power hierarchies.  It is a mutual communion with God as part of that communion, and service to God as part of devotion.  That is, an understanding that we grow in learning this love, in understanding what is good for us and for other human beings.  Neither is marriage a kind of dumping ground for rage, anger, envy, and other kinds of harmful activities directed either at one another, other members of the family, or outward at other people.  For all of these things remain in the context of a marriage as sacrament, marriage as part of covenant with God, where the Lord is present, even as we have recently read Jesus say, "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20).  A truly good marriage is on the firm ground of Christ's teaching that all the Law and the Prophets hang on the two commandments to love God, and neighbor as oneself (Matthew 22:36-40).  We begin with the understanding that God is love (1 John 4:8), and therefore if God is the true foundation for marriage, then it is the practice and action of living love, of growing and learning in love, that forms the basis for the society we want, this basic first relationship found in marriage.  From there, we hope that the fruits of marriage, in fact, expand this living love, filling the need to grow in understanding of how to put love into action.  If we begin only with the basic idea that marriage is just two people forming relationship -- without the presence of God as we understand God as love -- then the purpose of marriage no longer holds that important place of separating abuse from love, harm from blessing.  It is within the context of loving communion, the foundation of God who is love, that marriage forms a basis for the whole world, for true community.  Let us consider the mystery of this sacrament.

 

 

Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

Yesterday we read that Peter came to Jesus and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.   The text indicates to us that Jesus has just moved His ministry closer to Jerusalem, to the center of the religious leaders.  We read that great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  Clearly it is a signal that He is moving His ministry closer to the Passion which He has now twice warned the disciples will come.  And the leadership does notice Him, as we read in the verses that follow.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."  At Jesus' time, divorce was an important issue which was debated among the Pharisees and other of the groups that shaped religious leadership.  The Pharisees, in fact, tended to be more in agreement with Jesus' perspective on divorce.  The basis for this test of the Pharisees is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  My study bible says that God's condescension, or allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage, revealed in Genesis 1, 2.

"And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."   Together with His statement in verse 6 above, "Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate,"  these two teachings are what my study bible calls authoritative prohibitions against divorce.  In the ancient Church, permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life, and desertion -- but in all cases acknowledging the spiritual tragedy in such a circumstance.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study bible makes note here that Christ is steering the disciples toward understanding the holiness of virginity (as in monastic celibacy in devotion to God).  It's not a rejection of marriage but rather characterized as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were very common in the ancient world and through the Middle Ages, often even as powerful court attendants.  They were men who had been castrated, either by birth defect, disease, or deliberate mutilation.  Often they were employed to guard women of nobility, and wielded great influence either as part of a class or network, or at times individually.  Jesus uses the term figuratively here, for those who freely dedicated themselves to a life of celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.   This consecrated virginity is not to be confused with self-mutilation, my study bible says, which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council (AD 325).  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-38.

It's interesting to consider Jesus' use of the term eunuch as figurative image of one who devotes themselves wholly to the Church, to God.  Celibacy in this context is a kind of declaration of marriage to God, a full-hearted devotion to service in the Church.  In this respect, we can see the tie-in with Christ's feelings about divorce.  One way and the other, He is calling for the devotion of human beings in love -- be that in marriage or to the Church.  Jesus also says elsewhere that where one's treasure is, there one's heart is also (6:21).  We might as well say that what we choose to devote ourselves to becomes treasure, and Jesus is giving us an example of the goodness and importance of true devotion to the things that are proper in the lives of human beings.  If it is marriage we choose, then let us make the most of the possibilities inherent in marriage.  Let us learn devotion and sacrifice, even as monastics sacrifice their lives for the Church.  To be truly devoted to a marriage most definitely asks of us sacrifice.  For two to become one flesh there is the immediate notion that both must mutually sacrifice, each one for the other.  This is a very Christian idea, as it is the heart and definition of the Cross.  In fact, in the tradition of the Church, marriage is often called the layperson's way to union with God, marriage having its own ascetic for union with one another.  Above all, what Jesus suggests is a dimension to marriage that is not present when we think of marriage in material terms, as if we are simply adding something to ourselves, rather than the two becoming one flesh.  In each instance, whether Jesus speaks of the consecration to the Church through celibacy or of the concept of marriage, He's speaking of a kind of devotion that implies cherishing the other, sacrifice, and hence love.  He, of course, expresses the ultimate idea of devotion through His Passion, in which He will lay down His life for His friends (John 15:13).  The disciples clearly are struck by Christ's idea of permanent monogamous marriage, and the difficulties presented without the contemporary notion of easy divorce.  But Christ's teaching invites in a different perspective on love, and particularly on the status of women in this context (for only Jewish men could ask for divorce).  Let us consider the kind of love He asks us to develop and cultivate, and the things He makes us consider as worthy of that kind of love and devotion and sacrifice.  His ministry extends itself to marriage, and as a holy mystery or sacrament of the Church, God's presence as Trinity becomes a part of married life, helping us in nurturing this bond and to grow in our capacity for growth in it.  Let us consider where He leads and transfigures human institutions through His image of matrimony, and how He teaches us what sacrifice is for.

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?

Saints Joachim and Anna, parents of the Virgin Mary, 17th century, Russia

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together; let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

On Saturday we read that, after Jesus gave a formula for mutual correction within the Church, Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together; let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"   My study bible tells us that the basis for the Pharisees' test of Christ regarding divorce is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  At the time of Christ, easy divorce for men was the practice (a Jewish woman could not initiate divorce).  But this was a source of debate among the Jewish religious leadership, with the Pharisees generally agreeing with Jesus in limiting easy divorce for just any reason.   It says that the condescension of God -- God's allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1; 2.  With His authority, Christ adds His own clear prohibition against divorce, in verse 6 here, and following below in verse 9.

He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  My study bible explains that in the ancient Church, the permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion.  In all cases, however, the Church acknowledges the spiritual tragedy of such a situation.  In other words, it is sin that abuses and breaks relationships sanctioned and made holy by God.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study bible says that Christ steers the disciples toward an understanding of the holiness of virginity in the context of devotion to God, not as a rejection of marriage, but as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, possibly by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  Until relatively recently historically speaking, they were frequently employed to guard women of nobility, and we might be surprised at what power they wielded in various empires.  But here, Jesus uses this term figuratively, for those who freely choose lifelong celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, devotion to the service of God.  This consecrated virginity, my study bible says, isn't to be confused with self-mutilation,  which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council in AD 325.

If we pay close attention to Jesus' words regarding marriage, there are at least a couple of things that are very certain here.  First of all, marriage is sanctified, given within the context of God's grace and the Church.  It is a holy institution.  Taking a look at Malachi 2:13-17 (and particularly the Septuagint translation), we see that in the Old Testament as well, there is emphasis on the companionship of marriage, sanctioned by God, and the importance of understanding relationship in this context.  Verse 16 instructs men, "Do not forsake her," and the entire section on marriage likens discarding an aged wife to an act of injustice or violence.  In 1 Corinthians 7, St. Paul also speaks of marriage and in a very pragmatic sort of way, suggesting that all are awaiting the dispensation of the Kingdom, but marriage must be viewed in the context of what is truly serving God.  Let us consider that in recent readings in Matthew, Jesus has emphasized the unity of relationships in the Church, including mutual correction and forgiveness, and care of the "littlest ones," the authority the disciples will have and how they must use it to serve all -- and become like "little children" to be the true servants of the Kingdom.  All of these passages -- the teachings from Malachi, the beginnings of marriage as found in Genesis, and Jesus' words -- bear witness to the power of relationship as sacrament, within the holiness and sanctification given by God.  How do we relate to one another?  How do we love one another?  Patristic commentary on marriage frequently centers on the fact that in the Gospel of John, the first public sign performed by Christ is at a wedding (John 2:1-12).  This points to marriage as sacrament, holy and sanctioned by God.  A sacrament means that we take the things of the world, and turn them back over to God, for God's purposes.  What we have, then, in Scripture -- and especially in this passage -- is a picture of marriage within the context of God's love and the practice of that love, and marriage as companionship.  In the Eastern Church, marriage is frequently referred to as that which teaches holiness in the context of relationship, as one learns sacrifice one for the other.  Indeed, in the day to day workings of the marriage relationship, one will continually go through transformation and change, having at each stage a new way to know and to love one another.  In this sense, marriage also involves the Cross, a giving up of past expectations or desires, an acceptance of the reality of sacrifice and love, a mutual cherishing.  In this model, marriage is not a question of hierarchy and conformity, but the opposite:  a mutual complementarity with each cherishing and complementing the other, and a relationship from which that love can extend to both the blessings of children and to others, especially in the context of faith in the One who is at the true center of marriage.  Abuse, as a form of sin, kills relationships -- and thus is divorce a spiritual tragedy.  This would include desertion and abandonment.  Let us consider the ways in which marriage is beloved of God, and may be strengthened in love through prayer and rooted in God who is love.   Given in the same context are Jesus' words on virginity, sanctioned as a special consecration and calling to serve God.

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And he answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."   But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

In recent readings, Jesus has been instructing the disciples regarding conduct and leadership in the future Church (see readings from Wednesday and Thursday).  In yesterday's reading, we were told that Peter came to Jesus and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And he answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."   My study bible says here that the basis of the Pharisees' test is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  God's condescension -- God's allowance for human weakness -- does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1 and 2.  Jesus speaks with authority, and adds His own clear prohibition against divorce (see also Malachi 2:15-16).  In the ancient Church, the permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life, and desertion.  But in all cases, the spiritual tragedy of such a situation was clearly acknowledged.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."   But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study bible notes here that Christ steers the disciples toward an understanding of the holiness of virginity.   This isn't a rejection of marriage, but rather a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, either by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  They were often employed until quite recent times to guard women of nobility.  But Jesus uses this term figuratively for those who freely choose celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.  (Consecrated virginity is not to be confused with self-mutilation, which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council in 325.)  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-38.

We are given what is still difficult advice regarding marriage:  monogamy is preferable and the intention of marriage in the sight of God.  Divorce is an allowance for our own fallibility and, yes, sinfulness.   But marriage, in the traditional sight of the Church, is also a way to grow toward God-likeness, specially-made for our human imperfection.  In growing in love, in learning to love, we give of ourselves, we make sacrifices, we give up things our selfishness might rather hold onto -- and we grow in likeness to the graciousness of God.  This is a picture of marriage as sacrament, part of a holy mystery of the Church.  It allows for our imperfections, and a grace-permeated marriage is one in which love -- as something we are always growing into -- becomes the point.  If we look at the characteristic fruit of the Spirit given to us by St. Paul:  love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control -- we see that although he lists love first, they are all aspects of love.  We can learn kindness in a marriage and its importance in the ways in which we treat a partner.  Goodness becomes important in terms of what we cherish in one another, and what we bring to the union.  Joy is possible for us in realizing the blessings of love.  Peace can be what we find in a partner who loves us and wants what is best for us -- and in our own capacity for love of our partner.  Faithfulness is possible even where we acknowledge our imperfections, as love rejoins even brokenness when we make a mutual effort.  Gentleness and self-control are indispensable to learning how to make a marriage work.  Let us note that Jesus is speaking in a context where initiating divorce was only possible for men, and He is mainly addressing men here.  Therefore, what He calls hard-heartedness is an ill-consideration for women and their position in the context of His time; any way one looks at it, women were of lower social stature than men in a number of ways.  But this isn't a political speech:  it is a spiritual teaching, and it is all about love that transcends everything else and is given by God.  That the two shall become one flesh is a statement of total union.  Historically, the Church (especially in the Eastern Tradition) has come to see both marriage and celibacy in devotion to God as two ways to union and faith.  In both cases, a devotion to God, a growing likeness to our Creator, is the point, for love is of God (1 John 4:7).  Faith gives to marriage a particular dimension that works in mysterious ways to help us find those fruit noted by St. Paul, to overcome hardship, to share those difficulties, to sacrifice for love and all its blessings.  In all cases, it is Christ we turn to for help and guidance, and to create meaning and value for all.  Let us keep in mind St. Paul's word:  All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful (1 Corinthians 6:12, 10:23).  There is no condemnation here, but there is what is best for us.  Abuse can destroy what God puts together, a spiritual tragedy.  Let us understand what God gives to us.

What God has joined together, let not man separate

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.   The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

On Saturday, we read that Peter came to Jesus (after Jesus had given a system of mutual correction for the Church, in Friday's reading) and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.   The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."    Jesus is now in the region just beyond the Jordan; He's come closer to Jerusalem and is in Judea.  We note that great multitudes followed Him.  The Pharisees come from Jerusalem to test Him.  Divorce was an important and contested question at this time, with the Pharisees even divided among themselves on the question of reasons for (easy) divorce.  The basis for the Pharisees' test is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  God's condescension, my study bible says, or allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1 & 2.  It is with this original understanding that Jesus begins His response.  As always, His emphasis is on the true aim and purpose of the Law.  He adds His own clear prohibitions here against divorce.   Jesus gives possible ground for divorce as "sexual immorality."  The permissible reasons for divorce were expanded in the ancient Church to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion.  But in all cases, my study bible emphasizes, acknowledging the spiritual tragedy of such a situation.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."   My study bible says that Christ steers the disciples here toward an understanding of the holiness of virginity -- not as a rejection of marriage but rather as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, perhaps by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  They were often employed to guard women of nobility.  This was a centuries-old custom in many cultures until rather recently in human history.  Here, Jesus also uses the term "eunuch" figuratively, as metaphor for those who choose freely to live in lifelong celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.  This is a kind of consecrated virginity, which is not to be confused with self-mutilation (which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council in 325).  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-38.

As is typical, when Jesus is challenged by those seeking an answer from Him, He does not reply in the same vein as the question demands.  In other words, if the Pharisees are asking Him for His perspective on a contested question of the time, Jesus does not simply reply as if their grounds for the question were reasonable.  Here, He doesn't really answer the question about divorce in the same perspective as the question is asked.  They ask Him about permissible reasons for divorce.  But Jesus instead emphasizes the nature of marriage itself; that is, its intended nature as a sacrament given by God in the first place.  Rather than answering the question with a list of permissible reasons for divorce, Jesus instead chooses to emphasize the essential importance of marriage as union intended by God in our very creation in the first place.  It is the purpose of physical gender, in the terms in which Jesus phrases His answer.   Even the concept of family takes on particular ramifications in Jesus' answer.  In the ancient world (and all over the world, even in the West until quite recently in historical perspective) marriage was arranged by parents.  The reverence for parents is built into the Law in the Ten Commandments.  But Jesus emphasizes what is written in Genesis:  "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."   And He concludes,  "So then, they are no longer two but one flesh."  In other words, the marriage bond to wife is meant to surpass the bond with father and mother.  We should keep in mind as we think about this passage that it wasn't possible for a Jewish woman to initiate divorce; Jesus is asked here about the divorce prerogatives of men.  He elevates the status of wife to one that is not simply somewhat higher than property to do with as one wills, but which is greater than the bond with father and mother, and is in fact inseparable from that of her husband, as "the two shall become one flesh" as commanded by God.   Moreover, the emphasis in both discussions with the Pharisees and with His disciples is on the bonds of commitment in a holy context.  First there is this supreme commitment that marriage calls from us, that "the two shall become one flesh."  But secondly, there is the commitment of celibacy for "those to whom it has been given . . . for the kingdom of heaven's sake."  Both are bonds of "marriage" that are given by God and consecrated as holy, unifying not simply by the power of human commitment but by the power of God.   What is not stated here, but which is evident in Jesus' teaching, is the hidden ground of love that forms the basis not only for the Law but for the type of bond which exists in a spiritual context.  As would become so clear for the early Church, "God is love" (1 John 4:8).  Ultimately, these teachings are related to the new commandment He will give (twice for emphasis) at the Last Supper:  "Love one another as I have loved you" (John 13:34, 15:12).  Love is the basis for all the teachings Jesus gives, and most certainly it is so here, when He speaks of the bond of marriage -- so deep that "the two shall become one flesh" -- and also the bond of celibacy given by God to specific persons for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.   Rather than giving a list of reasons for divorce, Jesus instead emphasizes the purpose of the Law which is ultimately love, in many forms.   For this reason, Jesus isn't merely a lawgiver like Moses.  He fulfills the Law, but He leaves us with love as His command.   How we live that love is the mission of our faith and the way we fulfill its purpose, even -- in the historical view of the Church -- the way that we fulfill the mission of holiness.  One thing we know:  it always requires self-giving, a way of going out of ourselves as mediated by faith.   Such bonds ask of us humility, self-emptying, a foregoing of selfishness and self-centeredness and a practice of service, even on the most personal level.  But, as Jesus also indicates, sins against love, forms of abuse of relationships, can break those bonds.  Where is love and its work in you and in your life?  Let us consider the ways in which we are stretched to be more "like" our Creator, in whose "image" we are made.

What God has joined together, let not man separate

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. 

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."   They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." 

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

 Yesterday, we read that after Jesus taught about discipline in the Church, Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts for his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."   They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."   My study bible tells us at this juncture that the basis of the test of the Pharisees (Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?) is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  A note reads, "God's condescension, or allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1; 2.  With authority, Christ adds His own clear prohibition against divorce in verses 6 and 9."   My study bible interprets this as saying that marriage, while sacred, can be abused and destroyed, or "broken," by our sinful behavior.   It notes also that permissible reasons for divorce were expanded in the ancient Church to include threat to a spouse's or child's life, desertion, and forced prostitution, "in all cases acknowledging the spiritual tragedy of such a situation."   In addition, it says that remarriage is permitted in the Orthodox Church, "as a concession to human weakness and as a corrective measure of compassion when a marriage has been broken."

 His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  Clearly while we no longer have social functions filled by eunuchs as in history,  Jesus here refers to those who are lifelong celibates.  In this sense, these people He is speaking of who serve the Church (for the kingdom of heaven's sake) are in some way "set apart."  My study bible says this refers to those who are celibate by free choice and according to God's will for them.  "Jesus does not endorse mutilation but the putting away of wicked thoughts.  The first Ecumenical Council (A.D. 325) rejected willful mutilation." 

In the context of the Church discipline set out by Jesus in Thursday's reading, today's reading focuses on aspects of community that help to strengthen relationships, the very stuff of what true community is all about.  Ultimately, as with everything else that Jesus teaches, these guidelines are inspired by love and the need for love in all forms as the basis for any sort of "regulation" or spiritual instruction regarding how we relate to and live with one another.  In the institution of marriage, as taught here by Christ, is a basic understanding of what love is and means.  Divorce was a very harsh practice for those who are powerless in the relationship.  In Jewish society, women could not initiate divorce.  Divorce left a woman without social standing and perhaps destitute.  By instituting and reiterating again the command from Genesis regarding the creation of man and woman, Jesus is emphasizing the need for care of one another, a deep command for bonding, so that two become one.  This is the ultimate capacity for compassion, for "feeling with" one another, for two seeming opposites in all manner of ways to "become one flesh."  Particularly in terms of power (social power), we see the emphasis of Jesus on love as the overriding force in the sacrament of marriage; two come together in this case not as social equals, and yet become "one flesh."  There is an absolute essence of love in this command, love that overrides all easy or facile choices of convenience or self-centeredness, and in particular the treatment of another as a mere material object.  In the view of the early Church, the allowances for divorce also assume that the bond of love has been broken and abused in ways that manifest a purely "flesh-based" or material perspective, with complete disrespect for the spiritual reality of what human beings are and the sacred things or sacraments God gives in order to recognize and grow in this truth.  In this teaching, we are led to understand a deeper fullness of what human beings are capable of living:  the practice of love which is "God-like."  It is a basic principle of organization of true community, the depth to which we are called to love.  Those who are set apart in some way as "eunuchs" are also doing so with an eye to this community, for service, answering a call from God.  And I believe this can come in many forms.  As always, Jesus' teachings are not absolute in a material sense, but rather those given through love and by love and for love, and encourage us in endless mercy and the practice of forgiveness as well as repentance; that is, personal change and growth.  For in this bosom of love, His yoke is easy and His burden is light (11:30).

Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

On Saturday, we read that Peter came to Jesus and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  This was after Jesus had taught about forgiveness in the Church.  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.   Jesus leaves His "home country" of Galilee, where He's spent most of His ministry, and come closer to Jerusalem, into Judea.  No doubt His popularity there, with "great multitudes" who follow Him, attracts the attention of the leadership in Jerusalem.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"   The Pharisees come to Jesus with a test; in this case, the test is on the legality of divorce.  Pharisees were experts in the Mosaic Law, and this question requires interpretation of Deut. 24:1-4.  But Jesus will give His own answer, and His own perspective.

And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."   My study bible says, "The yearning of a husband and wife for one another was planted in human nature by God before the Fall.  The harmony of Adam and Eve with God and with each other was a great virtue.  Adam considered Eve a part of himself (Gen. 2:23).  When he cut himself off from the love of God, that harmony was broken.  Jesus restores the marriage relationship to its original state, giving it a spiritual dimension."  The essence of Jesus' answer is about love, about the bonding that occurs between two people that goes so deep they become one new entity.  In His clear interpretation, this bond is the work of God.

They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."   My study bible says that "divorce is permitted only for sexual immorality, which destroys a marriage -- a teaching held also by the stricter school of the Pharisees.  The reasons for divorce were eventually increased in the ancient Church to include threat to one partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution."  It notes that while the Church may grant divorce, it regards it as a spiritual tragedy requiring great pastoral care.  Let's note also that in this question and answer between the Pharisees and Jesus, the perspective is regarding a man divorcing a woman.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given.  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." At Jesus' time, of course, eunuchs were commonly men who were castrated in order to serve in some royal capacity, such as guard of the bedchambers (chamberlain).  Under various forms of autocratic rule, it was possible for eunuchs to hold high authoritative or administrative positions, or to wield influence with nobility.  But Jesus uses this word as analogy, referring to elective celibacy.  My study bible says that "eunuchs are lifelong celibates.  Jesus praises those who have made themselves eunuchs, that is, those who are celibate by free choice and according to God's will for them.  Jesus does not endorse mutilation but the putting away of wicked thoughts.  The first Ecumenical Council (A.D. 325) rejected willful mutilation."

Jesus begins His answer to today's question by the Pharisees with an emphasis on love, on the bonds between people.  We have to remember that it wasn't possible for women to initiate divorce; Jesus is speaking strictly to the case of a man divorcing a woman.  So immediately we must understand the social hierarchy at play.  Women were dependent upon men socially and economically.  A divorce wasn't merely a separation of persons but meant something much greater.  In spiritual terms, however, Jesus focuses on the bond that God creates between people, marriage as a sacrament, and this is also essential for us to keep in mind.  Over and over again, in the recent readings in Matthew's Gospel, Jesus has focused on community:  the importance of the little ones and the strays, the importance of forgiveness and mutual correction.   Here the bond in marriage becomes a core piece of community as Jesus envisions it.  It is important to understand the focus on male and female because it gives us a sense of social hierarchies, and once again the emphasis on the use of power in this community.  Jesus speaks of the ease with which a man could get a certificate of divorce as attributed to the "hardness of your hearts."  It is once again a case of the socially dependent being cast off by the more powerful in the community that He condemns as hardness of heart.  But Jesus' antidote to this is the emphasis on the bond of love that is more powerful than even the family ties the man may have to his own parents, another important indication about wealth and power, as family ties (particularly father and mother) are easily the source of both.  Sexuality, then, serves God's purposes -- in Jesus' perspective -- of love, the bonds created by God.  When He speaks of eunuchs, it's also the case of a voluntary celibacy meant to serve community, "for the kingdom of heaven's sake."  We may have all kinds of questions regarding this teaching and modern life, wherever we may live.  But Jesus' emphasis on the bonds of love and the sacramental nature of marriage still holds its strong message of spiritual purpose to human lives.  It also contains messages here about what we sacrifice for that higher purpose, the calling of a purpose of a real community defined by God who is love.  The Teacher goes back to the purpose and function of creation, the higher capacities of human beings for love, as well as giving us teaching here on what destroys that purpose and love.  How do you define community?  What has God placed in your life in the bond of love?  What is the worth of a sacrament and how do we care for that?  These remain essential questions, even 2,000 years later.

What God has joined together, let not man separate

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

In yesterday's reading, Jesus continued His discussion with the disciples about relationships within the church community. In Wednesday's reading, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He responded with a teaching on humility, and on care of the little ones in the church. In Thursday's reading, Jesus continued with a framework for mutual correction as the model for church discipline, a working of this community. He said, "For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them." This formula involved a process for resolving problems within the church when one is sinned against by another, and began with private discussion. Jesus taught, "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother." He then described further stages for correction of the problem within the body of the church should there be no repentance. In yesterday's reading, Peter asked, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus replied, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Then He gave a parable, about a servant who owed his master an impossible sum. The master forgive him the debt when the servant asked for mercy. But then the servant found another fellow servant, who owed him far less than the debt the master forgave. This fellow servant asked for mercy, and said he could not pay. But instead of showing the compassion expressed by the master, the servant had him thrown into prison until he could pay. Jesus taught, "So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" Jesus comes to Judea, and there He meets the Pharisees, who come to test this Man with such a great following. The question is an important one to the Pharisees; from their point of view, interpretation and understanding of the commandments of the Law is everything. The question is based on interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1-4. This was the basis for divorce among the Jews. Ostensibly, we understand that Jesus has come into the territory where the Pharisees and all the leadership of the temple hold sway, out of Galilee. But there's a deeper pattern to Matthew's gospel here, and we will examine it.

And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." While the Pharisees are focused on the law of Moses regarding divorce, Jesus turns to the deepest understanding we have of marriage, and that comes "from the beginning," from the creation of the world, and the intent of God. Taken together with the recent teachings in Matthew's gospel regarding church community and relationship, we see here a framework for inclusion of all -- the purposes of God being to defeat the unnecessary strife in human relationships, especially the consequences of the Fall in the difficulties between men and women. We remember that in the Genesis story, after their turning away from God, Adam and Eve are told that from then on woman would fear man and have pain in childbirth, while men would toil (a word deeply associated with evil; indeed, in the Greek, it is one interpretation of the meaning of the word for evil). Here, Jesus teaches a restoration of the earliest relationship between man and woman. It is a relationship of the heart, of the deepest place of the soul, of love, where "the two become one flesh." My study bible teaches that the love in marriage is tied to love of God through the story of Adam and Eve; when the relationship with God was broken, so was the original relationship in marriage. Love begins with God. It says, "Jesus restores the marriage relationship to its original state, giving it a spiritual dimension." Therefore the emphasis here is on love.

They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." It's essential that we understand the nature of the position of woman in the historical system of the society, and regarding marriage. What is her position when divorced? She cannot easily earn a living for herself. Therefore, divorce may in fact be a form of creating destitution. Moreover, it creates one who is outcast socially in some sense; a woman would lose her social standing as well, her place in the society. This is why Christ addresses their "hardness of heart" and chastises the idea of easy divorce, for any reason at all. All that was required was a certificate of complaint. The Pharisees, however, differ among themselves on this subject, and hence, its relevance as a question. My study bible says that in the stricter school of the Pharisees, they would agree with Jesus' teaching, that divorce is acceptable only on grounds of sexual immorality. My study bible suggests that sexual immorality harms a marriage relationship. It notes, "The reasons for divorce were eventually increased in the ancient Church to include threat to one partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution." While the Church grants divorce, it notes, "it regards it as a spiritual tragedy requiring great pastoral care."

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." It's interesting that for the disciples, this idea of marriage is seen with great difficulty! But we look at the focus here, and it is one of focus on the Kingdom. Jesus teaches that this is not for everybody. "Eunuchs" here is traditionally interpreted as those who are celibate. Jesus includes many for whom marriage may not be an institution of life: some born as celibates, some made that way by men (those who were castrated in order to function in a particular social role, such as a type of servant). But another group is included here, and that is those who have made themselves so for the kingdom of heaven's sake. These are those who are voluntarily celibate for the kingdom's sake, for whom a life of marriage and family is forgone in order to become servants in the Church. We can go back to Jesus' teaching (in Wednesday's reading) on the necessity of cutting off from ourselves anything that would keep us from entering the kingdom: a hand, a foot, an eye. Here again is a type of analogy to mutilation: there are those who voluntarily will live a life of celibacy in order to serve God.

Taken overall in the context of the Gospel, we can see Jesus' emphasis on community and relationship. He is establishing His Church. The institution of marriage is another form of human relationship sanctified by God, within the energies of God's love. And it is inclusive in its nature. Just as His first words to the disciples are about the essential importance of the "little ones" in the Church, their care and teaching, that their angels always behold the face of God, and that they themselves must become like a little child in order to enter the kingdom of heaven -- so also this teaching is about inclusion of all the human race. There is no greater or lesser role to play for the genders in Jesus' description of marriage. In His kingdom, He seeks to return marriage to the status of the Garden, right-relatedness with God and between all people. One does not "lord it over" the other, the two in fact become one flesh. And this is the picture of marriage as an institution that we must take with us, with the emphasis on love. Note also that it isn't for everyone, neither does Jesus insist on it as so, but rather there are those who are celibate even for the Kingdom's sake. Nowadays, we debate all kinds of other, new questions about marriage, having to do with gender and orientation. But I think that we must never lose sight of Jesus' original purpose here, and that is to restore the conditions of the Garden, the relationship between genders that is not based on hierarchy nor worldly power and rank, but on love. And that is the key to our understanding of marriage: love in the context of a loving God, and also of inclusion. This is still about His vision of community in the context of the Gospel. All begins with the love between God and human beings, and everything should serve the community of the kingdom of heaven. With the love of God in our hearts, we are taught right-relatedness to others, in community. How do you love with the heart? How do two become one flesh in God's love and a divine economy? How do you live for the sake of the kingdom of heaven? Just as with the mutual correction in the Church, so relationships take a mutual effort; we rely on one another. There is no one left out. Each must choose for themselves to do their part in this embrace of the love of God.