Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?

Saints Joachim and Anna, parents of the Virgin Mary, 17th century, Russia

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together; let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

On Saturday we read that, after Jesus gave a formula for mutual correction within the Church, Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together; let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"   My study bible tells us that the basis for the Pharisees' test of Christ regarding divorce is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  At the time of Christ, easy divorce for men was the practice (a Jewish woman could not initiate divorce).  But this was a source of debate among the Jewish religious leadership, with the Pharisees generally agreeing with Jesus in limiting easy divorce for just any reason.   It says that the condescension of God -- God's allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1; 2.  With His authority, Christ adds His own clear prohibition against divorce, in verse 6 here, and following below in verse 9.

He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  My study bible explains that in the ancient Church, the permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion.  In all cases, however, the Church acknowledges the spiritual tragedy of such a situation.  In other words, it is sin that abuses and breaks relationships sanctioned and made holy by God.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study bible says that Christ steers the disciples toward an understanding of the holiness of virginity in the context of devotion to God, not as a rejection of marriage, but as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, possibly by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  Until relatively recently historically speaking, they were frequently employed to guard women of nobility, and we might be surprised at what power they wielded in various empires.  But here, Jesus uses this term figuratively, for those who freely choose lifelong celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven, devotion to the service of God.  This consecrated virginity, my study bible says, isn't to be confused with self-mutilation,  which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council in AD 325.

If we pay close attention to Jesus' words regarding marriage, there are at least a couple of things that are very certain here.  First of all, marriage is sanctified, given within the context of God's grace and the Church.  It is a holy institution.  Taking a look at Malachi 2:13-17 (and particularly the Septuagint translation), we see that in the Old Testament as well, there is emphasis on the companionship of marriage, sanctioned by God, and the importance of understanding relationship in this context.  Verse 16 instructs men, "Do not forsake her," and the entire section on marriage likens discarding an aged wife to an act of injustice or violence.  In 1 Corinthians 7, St. Paul also speaks of marriage and in a very pragmatic sort of way, suggesting that all are awaiting the dispensation of the Kingdom, but marriage must be viewed in the context of what is truly serving God.  Let us consider that in recent readings in Matthew, Jesus has emphasized the unity of relationships in the Church, including mutual correction and forgiveness, and care of the "littlest ones," the authority the disciples will have and how they must use it to serve all -- and become like "little children" to be the true servants of the Kingdom.  All of these passages -- the teachings from Malachi, the beginnings of marriage as found in Genesis, and Jesus' words -- bear witness to the power of relationship as sacrament, within the holiness and sanctification given by God.  How do we relate to one another?  How do we love one another?  Patristic commentary on marriage frequently centers on the fact that in the Gospel of John, the first public sign performed by Christ is at a wedding (John 2:1-12).  This points to marriage as sacrament, holy and sanctioned by God.  A sacrament means that we take the things of the world, and turn them back over to God, for God's purposes.  What we have, then, in Scripture -- and especially in this passage -- is a picture of marriage within the context of God's love and the practice of that love, and marriage as companionship.  In the Eastern Church, marriage is frequently referred to as that which teaches holiness in the context of relationship, as one learns sacrifice one for the other.  Indeed, in the day to day workings of the marriage relationship, one will continually go through transformation and change, having at each stage a new way to know and to love one another.  In this sense, marriage also involves the Cross, a giving up of past expectations or desires, an acceptance of the reality of sacrifice and love, a mutual cherishing.  In this model, marriage is not a question of hierarchy and conformity, but the opposite:  a mutual complementarity with each cherishing and complementing the other, and a relationship from which that love can extend to both the blessings of children and to others, especially in the context of faith in the One who is at the true center of marriage.  Abuse, as a form of sin, kills relationships -- and thus is divorce a spiritual tragedy.  This would include desertion and abandonment.  Let us consider the ways in which marriage is beloved of God, and may be strengthened in love through prayer and rooted in God who is love.   Given in the same context are Jesus' words on virginity, sanctioned as a special consecration and calling to serve God.