Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times." And when he thought about it, he wept

 Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."  And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.

- Mark 14:66-72

Yesterday we read that after seizing Him in Gethsemane, the soldiers led Jesus away to the high priest; and with him were assembled all the chief priests, the elders, and the scribes.  But Peter followed Him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest.  And he sat with the servants and warmed himself at the fire.  Now the chief priests and all the council sought testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  For many bore false witness against Him, but their testimonies did not agree.  Then some rose up and bore false witness against Him, saying, "We heard Him say, 'I will destroy this temple made with hands, and within three days I will build another made without hands.'"  But not even then did their testimony agree.  And the high priest stood up in the midst and asked Jesus, saying, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But He kept silent and answered nothing.  Again the high priest asked Him, saying to Him, "Are You the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?"  Jesus said, "I am.  And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, "What further need do we have of witnesses?  You have heard the blasphemy!  What do you think?"  And they all condemned Him to be deserving of death.  Then some began to spit on Him, and to blindfold Him, and to beat Him, and to say to Him, "Prophesy!"  And the officers struck Him with the palms of their hands.

 Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."  And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.  My study bible says that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It's an image of our fallen state which is completely overturned when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).  We may observe the intense levels of fear that Peter's experiencing:  neither Jesus' prediction nor the first crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance.  At the second call, he remembers Jesus' word to him.  It's an important lesson in repentance, as my study bible quotes St. Ambrose of Milan on Peter's tears:  "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud." 

Perhaps one of the many great gifts of the Gospels is one not spoken of very frequently:  the emotions that are on display both in the apostles and in Jesus.  We know there were times when Jesus wept.  When John writes about Jesus' friend Lazarus, the memorable shortest verse we know simply tells us, "Jesus wept" (John 11:35).  Jesus weeps in compassion, with His friends who are devastated at the death of their brother, with the mourners, and for His friend, although He will restore His life.   Luke tells us that Jesus wept over Jerusalem, knowing the fate that is to come to the city and the consequences of His rejection by the leadership (Luke 19:41-44).  As He goes to His crucifixion, He tells the women who weep for Him, "Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for Me, but weep for yourselves and for your children" (Luke 23:28).  Jesus is not a stoic.  His strength isn't the kind of strength of a detached philosopher who lives through intellect and above emotions.  Jesus is, rather, fully human, and He teaches us what it is to live our full humanity as we also seek the will of God in all things.  He doesn't hide from His life and feelings.  The apostles are no exception to this pattern of emotional display.  They make many mistakes in following Christ and coming to know His teachings.  They "forget" about miracles when they suspect Jesus is upset with them because they've forgotten to bring bread for a journey, after two feeding miracles in the wilderness.  Even Jesus marvels at their lack of understanding (Mark 8:11-21).  They selfishly concern themselves with who will be the greatest among them in the kingdom they think will manifest immediately -- not only do they dispute this question, but His great close friends John and James Zebedee even request of Him the greatest places (Mark 10:37).   Moreover, this takes place just after Jesus has told them He will be crucified!  The Gospels are full of human mistakes and human emotions.  The last word we'd use to describe these men whom Jesus has chosen would be "supermen."  No, they are the opposite of what the world might consider supermen in some formal philosophical sense.  They are men:  uneducated "people of the land" from Galilee.  But they are the perfectly chosen apostles, and via their faith and grace they do become a certain kind of "supermen," they become those men who will be able to drink the cup that Christ drinks, and they will live their lives and sacrifice all for the gospel message.  Their faith and the work of grace transcends, builds, expands, and incorporates all that they are to build the work of the Kingdom in the world.  Our greatest example is Peter, who denies Christ three times after swearing he would rather die -- even after being warned by Jesus.  But this is the great gift to us of the Gospels, because we have to understand that God loves and takes in all that we are when building up faith and grace in us.  There is no part that is left out.   The thing that Jesus never teaches is to simply ignore parts of ourselves that are less than perfect.  Rather, we must wrestle with that fact, and must not be blind to it.  We must come to repentance (or more literally, "change of mind" in the Greek), and that only happens through knowledge, through the understanding of our own weaknesses and what tempts us.  Peter will return to Christ, and answer the question, "Do you love Me?"  Even then, Peter's conduct isn't "perfect" -- he just has to ask what John is supposed to do, to which Jesus replies, "What is that to you? You follow Me"  (see John 21:15-25).  What the Gospels teach us is that all of ourselves must be acknowledged.   Our goal isn't a kind of perfect strength that admits no weaknesses.  Rather, it's awareness, alertness.  That's also part of watching and praying.  We're to know what we're about, and not be blind to ourselves.  Neither are we to go about pretending that whatever we are is simply perfect.  Rather, we're on a road through a narrow gate (Matthew 7:13-14), the one to which He leads us, the one for which He Himself is the door (John 10:7-9).  In that context, neither is our journey a competition, but rather we are to help one another with our own flaws and problems.   The only way to do that is to be aware of our own capacity for temptation and weakness (see Matthew 7:1-6).  Peter's tears give us the greatest gift, the gift of ourselves, our journey, and the story of transfiguration for all of us.  Everything we have and all that we are becomes part of a sacramental life:  given to Christ to be shaped and built by grace for His love -- and love is the true story here.  It's for love that we become as full as we can be as human beings.  This is the hero Peter becomes.  Let us be truly thankful.