Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!

 

Tears of St. Peter, Domenikos Theotokopoulos (El Greco), 1585.  El Greco Museum, Toledo

 So it was, as the multitude pressed about Him to hear the word of God, that He stood by the Lake of Gennesaret, and saw two boats standing by the lake; but the fishermen had gone from them and were washing their nets.  Then He got into one of the boats, which was Simon's, and asked him to put out a little from the land.  And He sat down and taught the multitudes from the boat.  

 

When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch."  But Simon answered and said to Him, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net."  And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.  So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them.  And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!"  For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish which they had taken; and so also were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.  And Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid.  From now on you will catch men."  So when they had brought their boats to land, they forsook all and followed Him.

 

- Luke 5:1–11 

 

Yesterday we read that, after preaching in the synagogue at Capernaum, Jesus arose from there entered Simon's house.  But Simon's wife's mother was sick with a high fever, and they made request of Him concerning her.  So He stood over her and rebuked the fever, and it left her.  And immediately she arose and served them.  When the sun was setting, all those who had any that were sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and He laid His hands on every one of them and healed them.  And demons also came out of many, crying out and saying, "You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  And He, rebuking them, did not allow them to speak, for they knew that He was the Christ.  Now when it was day, He departed and went into a deserted place.  And the crowd sought Him and came to Him, and tried to keep Him from leaving them; but He said to them, "I must preach the kingdom of God to the other cities also, because for this purpose I have been sent."  And He was preaching in the synagogues of Galilee.

 

 So it was, as the multitude pressed about Him to hear the word of God, that He stood by the Lake of Gennesaret, and saw two boats standing by the lake; but the fishermen had gone from them and were washing their nets.  Then He got into one of the boats, which was Simon's, and asked him to put out a little from the land.  And He sat down and taught the multitudes from the boat.  The Lake of Gennesaret is also known as the Sea of Galilee.  It is in reality a very large lake, about 13 miles long and 7 miles wide.  My study bible says that sitting was the traditional position for a teacher.  Some early Christian preachers (such as St. John Chrysostom) sat while the people stood.

When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, "Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch."  My study bible cites St. Ambrose of Milan, who sees the spiritual meaning of this command by Christ as an invitation to give one's life over to the deep mystery of the knowledge of the Son of God.

But Simon answered and said to Him, "Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net."  And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking.  So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them.  And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  My study bible says that the Lord draws people to Himself by things which are familiar to them.  The Magi were drawn with a star (Matthew 2:2), and tax collectors were drawn to Him by a tax collector (Luke 5:29).  So likewise, here Jesus draws the fishermen with fish (see 1 Corinthians 9:19-23). 

When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!"  Peter cries, "Depart from me . . . O Lord!"  But this is not a rejection of Jesus (contrast to Luke 8:37).  It is a response to what he recognizes as the divine power in Christ.  My study bible comments that, being suddenly cast in the light of Christ, holy people such as Peter become keenly aware of their own unworthiness (compare Isaiah 6:5; Revelation 1:17).  

For he and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish which they had taken; and so also were James and John, the sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.  And Jesus said to Simon, "Do not be afraid.  From now on you will catch men."  So when they had brought their boats to land, they forsook all and followed Him.  My study bible describes the great catch of fish as an image of the apostles bringing humankind to the knowledge of Jesus Christ.  This is also a fulfillment of the prophecy of Jeremiah 16:16.  In the festal hymn of Pentecost, the Orthodox Church sings to Christ, "Through the fishermen, You drew the world into Your net."

It's clear from the text of the Gospels that this was not Jesus' first encounter or introduction to Peter and the Zebedee brothers, James and John.  John's Gospel teaches us they were first disciples of John the Baptist, who led them to Christ (John 1:29).  In yesterday's reading, after Jesus preached in the synagogue at Capernaum, He went to Peter's family home, where He healed Peter's mother-in-law of a fever.  So this setting of the astonishing catch of fish is not Jesus' first introduction to these men.  It is, however, clearly a moment signalling that the time has come for something important, a new transition in Jesus' ministry.  The men recognize this for themselves, as we know from the text telling us that this was the moment they forsook all and followed Him.  Until now, in Luke's Gospel, we haven't read about particular disciples and mission, simply that Jesus began to preach in the synagogues of Galilee, quite notably with power and authority; His healings and exorcisms draw the people to Him.  In today's reading, there is a "multitude" on the shore who listen to Him teach from the boat.  But the image of the great abundance of the fish is a clear draw to the fishermen; for them, it is time to become "all in."  They forsake all and follow Him.  That's an interesting turn of events, because with a modern mindset (and a materialist one), we might presume something entirely different would happen.  With those who cannot perceive the spiritual depth offered here, who are incapable of discerning the holy standing before them, what we can imagine would happen is that they would attribute their splendid catch of fish either to some incredible luck due to them or possibly even their own skills, and just a lucky guess on the part of Jesus!  But these men will become the great apostles of the Kingdom; they will become fishers of men (Matthew 4:19).   In some sense, this miraculous catch of fish is similar to a great healing miracle performed by Jesus.  Without having faith as part of their characters, these men could not have responded as they do.  Certainly the striking image of Peter, recognizing the holiness of Christ, and his own imperfection in the light of that holiness, teaches us something profound about the soul of Peter and his capacity for response to the striking light of truth revealed to him.  And this is our own proper response to Christ.  Again, a modern mind might consider an admission of sinfulness something shameful, even harmful.  But Peter's soul goes to the point:  he is not a perfect nor unflawed human being.  It takes a deep trust, a recognition of the love of the Lord, to have the proper humility revealed at this moment in Peter.  This is not based in a toxic shame, but the capacity for knowing, loving, and trusting in God -- out of which comes our capacity for facing the truth about ourselves.  Who can say they are a perfect person, with no possible improvement to consider?  That would be a person without self-knowledge, and without any knowledge of God.  Peter's stunned and completely open reaction, without artifice or self-consciousness, is a sign of his capacity for humility and an open heart.  The one on his knees, who proclaims, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord!" becomes our model for humanity.  He is one transfixed by the light of Christ, at once standing before truth, grasping the holiness of God and himself in contrast, and completely revealed.  May we all be blessed with such moments, for they are the road to a life with Christ.  No wonder he is willing to forsake all for the way forward in that light.