If you want to be perfect

Then the little children were brought to him that he might put his hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." And he laid his hands on them and departed from there.

Now behold, one came and said to him, "Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?" So he said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but One, that is, God. But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments." He said to him, "Which ones?" Jesus said, " 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not bear false witness,' 'Honor your father and your mother,' and 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' " The young man said to him, "All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?" Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.

- Matthew 19:13-22

Our recent readings have focused on humility, and the importance of relationship -- just how we are to relate to one another. These readings have focused on order and right-relatedness in the church, among his followers, between the hierarchy and the "little ones" in the church, and on marriage and relation of men to women. We extend this today in the first verses to the "little children" who are brought to Christ. From there, we have a teaching on "goodness" - and from there we will go to the subject of wealth and detachment. All of this is an extension of his teachings on how we are to relate to one another - on the basic and extraordinarily profound equality among all who are in this kingdom, and how nothing should stand in the way of that realization.

Then the little children were brought to him that he might put his hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven." And he laid his hands on them and departed from there. My study bible notes, "Little children are given 'equal opportunity' to live in the kingdom of heaven (v. 14), for their humble openness accepts God's gifts. There is nothing about them, including their age of immaturity, to keep them from the Kingdom. Therefore children, like adults, participate in the Kingdom through baptism, chrismation, communion, confession, and anointing with oil for healing." Jesus has previously spoken of humility and relationships - exhorting the disciples to remember to treat the littlest ones among their members (meaning the humble in stature who come to them to be members of the church) as if they are welcoming Christ himself. He has taught them to remember that "in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father in heaven." He has spoken to the men of their hard-heartedness toward their wives, that Moses granted an easy form of divorce for this reason, but that the spiritual purpose of marriage is love and care. Today he reaches out to the least powerful, the little children, and embraces them in the fullness of his teaching to the disciples. There is no barrier of power, status or rank that keeps anyone from this kingdom, and inclusion in the teachings of love and right-relatedness!

Now behold, one came and said to him, "Good Teacher, what good thing shall I do that I may have eternal life?" So he said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but One, that is, God." My study bible says that "the young ruler sees Jesus as a man only, a Good Teacher of the written Law, not as God. Jesus answers him accordingly, Why do you call me good? (v. 17). Jesus instructs him to keep the commandments, demonstrating the connection of virtue to salvation. In saying, No one is good but One (v. 17), our Lord rejects the worldly view that he is merely 'a good man,' at the same time teaching that goodness is in God alone." There are many ideas in this note that are worth pondering. The first is an understanding of the leap we are taking into notions of relatedness. Jesus has emphasized over and over again in the teachings on relatedness (and right-relationship) the inclusion of all - even today, to the little children. There is a tremendous sense of equality expressed in all of these teachings, as Jesus extends to the disciples the notion of proper respect for all persons, especially in the ways in which we relate to one another. Here he takes a tremendous leap, and extends even to himself - in the person of Jesus - this equality. Jesus teaches that "no one is good but One, that is, God." All "good" is measured by this yardstick, even Jesus himself. His humility extends to this tremendous leveling in the eyes of the gospels and his teachings on love and how we are to relate to one another.

Then, my study bible says, Jesus "exercises the duties of goodness by opening the treasures of heaven to the young man, offering himself as the guide to them. In doing this the Lord reveals himself as God." "But if you want to enter into life, keep the commandments. He said to him, "Which ones?" Jesus said, " 'You shall not murder,' 'You shall not commit adultery,' 'You shall not steal,' 'You shall not bear false witness,' 'Honor your father and your mother,' and 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" I find this an interesting concept - Jesus is like God - as God, he opens up the treasures of heaven to the young man, and thereby "exercises the duties of goodness." We receive the reality of God, but also the example in Jesus of what it is to embody goodness. And he will go further in the next teaching, in its fullness.

The young man said to him, "All these things I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?" My study bible says on this verse: "Formal observance of the Law does not equal fulfillment of all the commandments of God. Indeed, saying that one has kept the letter of the Law can create a false satisfaction about virtue. Salvation does not depend upon external things, whether they be many or few, great or small, but on the virtues of the soul -- faith, hope, and love -- the reward of which is salvation. These virtues the young man still lacked." So we are once again here in the midst of a teaching about humility. Even Jesus has said that only God is good, when he was called "Good Teacher." So it is in the exercise of true virtue -- that is, of being like God, that we encounter true goodness, we practice it. This requires tremendous humility and detachment.

Jesus said to him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions. My study bible says here: "God acts in cooperation with the human soul. To save the unwilling would be compulsion, but to save the willing is a show of grace. Perfection is voluntarily to sacrifice all and to follow Christ for the cause of the Kingdom. The Kingdom of God does not belong to sluggards, but to those who want to be perfect." A hard saying, indeed! And yet, elsewhere, Jesus has told us to "be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect." Certainly this entire passage is an example of how we are to be like God. As we are made in God's image (as quoted from the Old Testament in yesterday's passage on marriage), so we are to strive to be "like God" if we wish to be "good." In order to do that, it seems, we need the humility of detachment. It is not in our outward modeling that we are "perfect" but rather it is in an inward reality that asks of us to be our focus. This is how we seek the kingdom first. What is good? Who is good? What is goodness, what is perfection? These are the questions Jesus opens up for us today in this teaching.

Many times I find that I must detach from someone or something - which may be precious to me, which the world may label "good" - in order to find real virtue, the true gold or true "treasures of the kingdom" as my study bible refers to them. We remember that we are to store up treasures for ourselves where neither moth nor rust destroys nor thieves can break in and steal. It is this type of detachment, that couples us with the necessary quality of detachment, that will allow us to both see and experience what is truly good. It is for this reason that Jesus gives this young man the particular teaching he needs here. We are asked to be in a living relationship. Jesus is not telling everyone (indeed, he does not do so) that they must give away all the possessions they own in order to achieve this. Rather, this young man is being given the lesson he needs - which he has asked of Jesus - that in order to be truly good, truly perfect, he needed to detach himself from the model of rank and appearance via possession. (I have also known those who make a great show of piety via penury, as if that were a "possession" too.) Counting and storing up our good deeds according to the Law, therefore, can be likened here to storing up possessions of wealth. It is in the practice of true goodness that we are to excel, and that demands an exceptional capacity for detachment (and therefore humility) in order to honestly view our true virtues, our living relationship with God - or how we are really like God in this living, cooperative relationship of love, faith and hope. This young man has practiced virtue in upholding the Law, that is true. But to be perfect is a different layer of understanding, that requires he strip away the things he relies on to teach him that he is good, in order to see the reality of virtue that is not defined by outward show. Jesus himself will be crucified as a criminal - he will defy the temple authorities and upset the status quo. He will not make a show of extraordinary power to "prove" he is Messiah as the temple authorities demand. These are not the "appearance" of virtue, and yet in him they are the embodiment of virtue. We cannot judge by appearance, or by what we collect. We live in relationship to God - and we are like God when we practice true goodness, the power of living faith, of acting with open heart, detached from appearance, in - if possible - all humility. I find that today humility is not such a great virtue in the common culture. Perhaps this has always been a worldly problem, and remains so today. How are we to strip away the things we hold important as appearance, and practice detachment? This teaching remains as tough for us today as it was for the young man then.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that he departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them there.

The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And he answered and said to them, "Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." They said to him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."

His disciples said to him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

- Matthew 19:1-12

Jesus has been preaching in the past several readings about the importance of humility, of mercy, and of forgiveness. In all cases, he has been teaching about the importance of relationships - how we are to maintain them among one another in the church, what is considered proper and good conduct, and righteous behavior. Today, this dialogue on relationship continues with an excursion into the concept of marriage.

My study bible notes on this passage in its entirety: "The Pharisees come testing Him with the question of the legality of divorce; hoping to catch him on the interpretation of Deut. 24:1-4, the basis of divorce among Jews. But Jesus looks further back to the original intent of God in creation (Gen. 1:27; 2:24) regarding monogamous marriage for life, and adds his own clear prohibition against divorce (v. 9)." Of course, there are exceptions in which divorce is permitted, as Jesus indicates here - but the emphasis is on relationship, just as his recent discussions on love and the practice of mercy have focused on right relationship. It's important that we focus on Jesus' intent to understand the spiritual purpose of the law in the first place, just as he did in the Sermon on the Mount, when he discussed laws against murder and against adultery -- and also when he discussed the use of the law to circumvent its true purposes, for material gain.

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that he departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them there. Jesus is back in Judea. We are told that great multitudes follow him, and many are healed by him. So his popularity has spread to this central place, and no doubt this is heard by the leadership of the temple.

The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?" And he answered and said to them, "Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate." The Pharisees come to test him. Juxtaposed with the news that multitudes are following him and being healed in Judea, no doubt this is for the purpose of testing his acceptance by the crowds as a holy man. They seek to catch him by the use of the law, in which they are the experts of the temple. My study bible notes, "The yearning of a husband and wife for one another was planted in human nature by God before the Fall. The harmony of Adam and Eve with God and with each other was a great virtue. Adam considered Eve a part of himself (Gen. 2:23). When he cut himself off from the love of God, that harmony was broken. Jesus restores the marriage relationship to its original state, giving it a spiritual dimension." As in the examples I mentioned above (regarding the laws against murder and adultery; and the taking to task of those who would use the law to take money and support from dependent parents), Jesus adds the spiritual dimension -- what is the purpose of marriage in the first place, in God's sight? The law must be elevated to an understanding of its purpose and function in the first place - as a means whereby we are reconciled to God. It's important, also, to understand the spiritual perception of marriage as one in which we learn to practice love, to empty ourselves to another person. This becomes a function in line with worship: marriage has been referred to as the layperson's way to spiritual emptying, to metanoia (or "repentance") as we learn to cultivate right relationship in union with another person. In the Eastern church perspective, this is the spiritual purpose of marriage. In this perspective, children are a blessing.

They said to him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." My study bible says, "Divorce is permitted only for sexual immorality, which destroys a marriage -- a teaching held also by the stricter school of the Pharisees. The reasons for divorce were eventually increased in the ancient Church to include threat to one's partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution." It adds that although the church may grant divorce, it regards it "as a spiritual tragedy requiring great pastoral care." We live in a world that is far from perfect, and so we must take into account all the myriad reasons why relationships may fail, and may indeed be spiritually toxic for us in one way or another. The Church's role, it seems to me, is simply to do what Christ does here - to point out the spiritual nature of marriage, its purpose of love and right relationship, and to keep it on that track for those who are its followers. Just as in all of our other relationships, we seek to have a spiritual focus on the love of God and its reflection in the way in which we understand relatedness, so it is the same for marriage. Love is the purpose, and love is of God. It is an institution with the spiritual function of helping us to be more like God, as we are made in God's image. Jesus has said, "be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." We strive to learn what it is to love; the Church's job is to help and protect and shelter and support institutions and practices as havens of love - to protect spiritual purpose. Jesus refers to the allowance by Moses for divorce as that which is due to "the hardness of your hearts." Divorce was especially hard on women who could easily become destitute and outcast because their husbands tired of them. Just as the law to protect dependent parents is circumvented by the use of "Corban" - so Jesus is saying that divorce is given in ways that circumvent the purpose of marriage in the first place. It is a case in which the emphasis on love and mercy is Jesus' clear intent - and a continuation of the previous passages' emphasis.

His disciples said to him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it." My study bible says, "Eunuchs are lifelong celibates. Jesus praises those who have made themselves eunuchs, that is, those who are celibate by free choice and according of God's will for them. Jesus does not endorse mutilation but the putting away of wicked thoughts. The first Ecumenical Council (A.D. 325) rejected willful mutilation." There are clear reasons for celibacy - and one of them is devotion to the spiritual. So, marriage as an institution is one way of practicing love, of being or becoming like God. It is a spiritual institution given for our sake. Jesus says here that marriage is not for everybody - indeed, he himself remained unmarried. His bride is the Church; my study bible has previously referred to the Church as a "divine-human organism" - this is another form of bond of love.

So, as we delve more deeply into an understanding of relationship, and the many forms of relationship we find in the world, we start today with the institution of marriage as a spiritual gift of God. How does marriage help us to learn to practice love? How is it a spiritual institution in which we are taught what it is to love, to empty, and by extension to learn to worship and to love God? The eunuchs of the world, those who are celibate by choice, also have ways in which to learn this same love - one can be celibate for the purpose of spiritual love and devotion. Let us consider, then, the whole issue of relatedness and the bonds of love. Jesus has, in recent readings, taught about humility and God's love for the "little ones" - how we are to relate to one another in the church, how we are to air grievances and to practice forgiveness "seventy times seven" if at all possible in all circumstances. And finally, the extension of love is given to all in the institution of marriage. In all cases, Jesus tries to extend love to be inclusive of all -- most especially, those who are the powerless and weak, who may become outcast and destitute. Whether he is speaking of the "little ones" (the humble) among his followers, dependent parents, or women who may find themselves outcast and destitute, his emphasis is on the spiritual purpose of relationship and the institutions enshrined in human practice and in the law in order to protect that original, defining spiritual purpose of love. He always asks us to return to this, to deepen it and strengthen it, and to learn to practice it more fully in our own relationships on every level. So, we continue in our readings with a question -- how do we more fully learn to practice love in its spiritual reality? How do we shore up this purpose of our institutions, and the role of the church in sheltering and supporting practices of love, including for those who are celibate by choice? How are we doing, 2,000 years later, in going back to his original purpose in what we do now?