Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?

 And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables and said:  "The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come.  Again, he sent out other servants, saying, 'Tell those who are invited, "See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready.  Come to the wedding."'  But they made light of it and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his business.  And the rest seized his servants, treated them spitefully, and killed them.  But when the king heard about it, he was furious.  And he sent out his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.  Then he said to his servants, "The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy.  Therefore go into the highways, and as many as you find, invite to the wedding.'  So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good.  And the wedding hall was filled with guests.

"But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment.  So he said to him, 'Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?'  And he was speechless.  Then the king said to the servants, 'Bind him hand and foot, take him away, and cast him into the outer darkness; there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'  For many are called, but few are chosen."

- Matthew 22:1-14

Jesus is in Jerusalem, and it is what we now call Holy Week.  In yesterday's reading, Jesus gave a parable to the leadership in the temple who confronted Him regarding His authority in the cleansing of the temple.  He told them,   "Hear another parable:  There was a certain landowner who planted a vineyard and set a hedge around it, dug a winepress in it and built a tower.  And he leased it to vinedressers and went into a far country.  Now when vintage-time drew near, he sent his servants to the vinedressers, that they might receive its fruit.  And the vinedressers took his servants, beat one, killed one, and stoned another.  Again he sent other servants, more than the first, and they did likewise to them.  Then last of all he sent his son to them, saying, 'They will respect my son.'  But when the vinedressers saw the son, they said among themselves, 'This is the heir.  Come, let us kill him and seize his inheritance.'  So they took him and cast him out of the vineyard and killed him.  Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those vinedressers?"  They said to Him, "He will destroy those wicked men miserably, and lease his vineyard to other vinedressers who will render to him the fruits in their seasons."  Jesus said to them, "Have you never read in the Scriptures:  'The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone.  This was the LORD's doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes'?  Therefore I say to you, the kingdom of God will be taken from you and given to a nation bearing the fruits of it.  And whoever falls on this stone will be broken; but on whomever it falls, it will grind him to powder."  Now when the chief priests and Pharisees heard His parables, they perceived that He was speaking of them.  But when they sought to lay hands on Him, they feared the multitudes, because they took Him for a prophet.

 And Jesus answered and spoke to them again by parables and said:  "The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come.  Again, he sent out other servants, saying, 'Tell those who are invited, "See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready.  Come to the wedding."'  The story of a wedding feast is central to our understanding of Christ, and also the fulfillment of Old and New Covenants.  A joyful wedding banquet was already a depiction of God and God's people, and the steadfast love of covenant.  But the parable gives an extension on just who God's people are.  Christ is often called the "Bridegroom" (Matthew 9:15, John 3:29), and St. Paul also uses an analogy of marriage for the Kingdom (Ephesians 5:21-33).  In John's Gospel, the first sign of the Kingdom is the water turned to wine at a wedding feast.  The repeated sending out of servants here is a theme Jesus repeats from the parable we read in yesterday's reading, that of those sent to call God's people back to God.  My study bible says that it expresses the Father's great desire to have His people with Him in the Kingdom.  The first group of servants is traditionally interpreted as Moses and those with Him, the second is the prophets.  The second, "other servants," is composed of the prophets.   The oxen represent the sacrifices of the Old Covenant.  The fatted cattle represent the Eucharistic bread of the New.  The word fatted would be rendered more literally from the Greek as "wheat-fed" or even more closely as "formed from wheat."  Both Old and New Covenants are fulfilled in the wedding of Christ and His Church.

"But they made light of it and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his business.  And the rest seized his servants, treated them spitefully, and killed them.  But when the king heard about it, he was furious.  And he sent out his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city.  Then he said to his servants, "The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy.  Therefore go into the highways, and as many as you find, invite to the wedding.'  So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good.  And the wedding hall was filled with guests."   St. John Chrysostom writes that the fire ("burned up their city") is a prophesy of the destruction of the Romans in AD 70, and so attributes the destruction to an act of God and not simply to one of men.  My study bible says that nevertheless, God "showed His patience" by waiting some 40 years from the time of Christ, meaning a generation is given a chance for repentance.  This is evocative of the understanding in yesterday's reading, the difference between being broken by falling on the rejected stone that became the chief cornerstone, and those upon whom the stone falls.   The third group of servants sent out to the highways represents the apostles sent to the Gentiles, those who were not initially invited but are now called.   They are those who will travel the roads to all the world.

"But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment.  So he said to him, 'Friend, how did you come in here without a wedding garment?'  And he was speechless.  Then the king said to the servants, 'Bind him hand and foot, take him away, and cast him into the outer darkness; there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'  For many are called, but few are chosen."  The wedding garment, says my study bible, would have been provided by the king.  Therefore this man had no excuse for not wearing one -- and thus he is speechless.  The refusal to wear a wedding garment is analogous to a refusal of God's grace or hospitality.  It could illustrate also those who want the Kingdom on their own terms.  The garment specifically refers to the baptismal garment, says my study bible -- by extension, a life of "faith, repentance, virtue, and charity.  Without these, " it says, "a person will ultimately be cast into outer darkness."

We have all heard and love to know the great, generous graciousness of God:  God's love and mercy.  But in this picture about God's work among us, there is a price to be paid for refusal of that generosity and grace.  That is, refusal of the generosity has a consequence.  My study bible suggests that the parable teaches us that it is God the Father's great desire to have His people with Him in His Kingdom.  But what if this invitation is refused or disrespected?  We are invited into a life that we personally cannot imagine.  We are not capable of understanding its possibilities.  The graciousness of God is not only in the offer of this life and "place" with God in which to dwell, the eternal quality of this life, but also in providing the wedding garment.  That is, the way in which we will live our own individual lives to get there, the specific kind of life given to us. To fail to have respect for that, to value the gift appropriately, is a spurning of the gift.  And to do that is to lose it.  This is the only "price."  It is simply that we lose what is offered by improperly valuing it, by not taking it in the same terms in which it is offered.  I think the parable -- while of course speaking of much greater and grander things -- also teaches us about the importance of gratitude.   So often it's the case that we fail to appreciate what we have until it's gone.  Either we take something for granted, or because it's been a "given" in our lives, we fail to properly value the gift.  Oftentimes it seems to be a human character trait to consider all things we have to be somehow "self-gained."  That is, we fail to see gifts as gifts, and take them as part of our own identity, a self-created asset.  Friendship comes into this category.  Someone brings something into your life:  an idea for a project you work on, even a smile or a hug, a feeling of inclusion and love.   It is remarkable how easy it is to simply accept this as a result of one's own effort or persona, and fail to appreciate the gift.  I think in some way we may be blindly unappreciative of our own lives, the gifts God offers us through the gospel message, the great love that works on our behalf.  It's too easy to take it all for granted, with a very narrow and blinkered point of view on our own existence and capacities coupled with God's love, hope, prayer, and the synergy we are capable of living in cooperation with grace.  An "egotistical" and materialistic perspective leaves all of that mystery and love out of the picture, depleting the joy that comes from it.  It will also deny that there is a way for our lives that comes from spiritual guidance and prayer -- thereby denying altogether the benefits of such a life and keeping those benefits from us.  In this way, we lose what we fail to appreciate.  The price we pay is simply the lack of such a life.  So it is with Christ's parable.  We could be at this grand, fabulous, joyful wedding feast, wearing a beautiful garment.  A failure to truly care for what is on offer means we never experience the gift.    Cultivating a grateful attitude has many psychological and spiritual benefits.  It's quite a topic in popular culture and self-help books.  But I feel that gratitude without a relationship to the Giver is empty, perhaps another form of what can become self-congratulatory, the things we are grateful for ranked as yet additional personal attributes or extensions of ourselves.  But a gift is something quite different and far more precious.  It's as if one received a marvelous present from a friend, but were grateful only to possess the gift -- and not for the friend whose love and generosity gave it.  The difference in its value is simply incalculable.  To be called is one thing; but to be chosen is quite another.