Did I not see you in the garden with Him?

St. Peter, 6th century encaustic icon, St. Katherine's Monastery, Mt. Sinai

And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.  Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.

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Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.

 

- John 18:15–18, 25–27 

 

On Saturday, we read that, at this last Passover Feast of Christ's earthly life, there were certain Greeks among those who came up to worship at the feast.  Then they came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida of Galilee, and asked him, saying, "Sir, we wish to see Jesus."  Philip came and told Andrew, and in turn Andrew and Philip told Jesus.  But Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified.  Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the round and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.  He who loves His life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.  If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also.  If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor."

 

And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.   This other disciple is John, the author of this Gospel.  My study Bible explains that it was a common practice for an author to conceal his name in the details of his story (see John 13:23; compare Mark 14:51-52; Luke 24:13-18).   

Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.  My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  This fallen state is overcome in Christ, when a woman is the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (John 20:1, 11-18).  

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.  After his three denials, Peter will be restored through his three affirmations of love following the Resurrection (John 21:15-17).   We must keep in mind for this reading that this event occurred after the Last Supper, at which Jesus prophesied Peter's denial of Him (John 13:38).  

Today is the beginning of Lent for the Oriental Orthodox Churches.  For most Western Christian denominations, Lent begins on Wednesday, which is Ash Wednesday.  For the Eastern Orthodox Lent begins a week from today. Therefore, in preparation for Lent, the lectionary skips from chapter 12 (yesterday's reading, above) to give us the story of Peter's denial of Christ.  It is fitting insofar as it teaches us about our failures by giving us the example of Peter, de-facto leader among the apostles (the "first among equals," and his own fallibility and shame.   We should keep in mind that, just before Christ's prediction of Peter's betrayal, Peter said to Him that he would lay down his life for Christ's sake (John 13:36-37).  It's important to know that Peter's own susceptibility to overconfidence in his own strength is something we're meant to understand as common to all of us.  We are offered in the Gospels the stumbling blocks of the disciples (their wavering faith, their inability to understand Christ, their overconfidence such as in this case, their mistaken zeal, and so on) so that we might become aware of our own.  It makes us aware that our faith is a journey and not a one-time slogan of belief.  It also reminds us that faith or trust in Christ is far, far more than merely an intellectual acceptance of a doctrine.  It is much more than simple belief.  The active engagement in our faith becomes what is termed an ontological reality; that is, our faithfulness, or faith in action, becomes something that works inside of us, exposing our flaws, transforming us, growing us in strength, as we come to terms with God work of grace within us, and grow in that faith.  We really cannot know what profound depths of transformation and repentance this experience wrought in St. Peter, to turn him from one prone to exclamations of zeal that so often missed the mark (such as here and here) to the leader and martyr for Christ that he would become.  Indeed, this man who so often stumbled in his over-exuberant declarations would become one who fulfilled his mission of feeding the lambs of Christ, and also fulfilled the prophecy of what kind of death he would suffer, a journey of tremendous self-sacrifice, service, and the great humility required to be so revered.  What we can learn from Peter is a lesson that is never exhausted:  that we will always have something to learn, and especially a way that we need to grow, on our journey of our faith and the fulfillment of God's calling for us in our lives.  Peter teaches us that our faith is much, much more than belief.  Rather it is a journey of transformation in our most inward reality, of personality, of places within ourselves that we don't know, and potentials we can fulfill that we cannot even imagine we have.  This is transformation through grace and it is the true process of faith, our "yes" and our trust to the power of God -- Father, Son, and Spirit.  As we begin the journey of this Lent, let us consider our own tongues, our exclamations and expressions.  We live in a time when it seems that the whole world is lost in declarations of absolutes, of conflicts in which all sides are utterly certain of their righteousness, and we can see the dangers of escalation within such convictions.  Let us learn from St. Peter, and trust to humility before Christ first.  We would do well to learn from Him, to bear our cross, even to submit our human will to the will of God (John 21:15-19).  This is especially possible through prayer, so that we become aware of our flaws, where we are mistaken, our constant refinement in repentance, and our experience of the love of God.  Let us remember Christ's prayer in the Garden and do our best to stay awake, especially at times of great stress and violence and therefore temptation, to "watch and pray" with Him.  For this is what Lent is for.