You are not also one of His disciples, are you?

 

 And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.  

 

Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.  

The high priest then asked Jesus about His disciples and His doctrine.  Jesus answered him, "I spoke openly to the world.  I always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where the Jews always meet, and  in secret I have said nothing.  Why do you ask Me?  Ask those who have heard Me what I said to them.  Indeed they know what I said."  And when He had said these things, one of the officers who stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, "Do You answer the high priest like that?"  Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me?"  Then Annas sent Him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.  

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.

 

- John 18:15–27 

 

 On Saturday, we were reading in St. John's Chapter 8, when Jesus was at the Feast of Tabernacles.  After disputing with the religious leaders, Jesus said to them, "He who is of God hears God's words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God."  Then the Jews answered and said to Him, "Do we not say rightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?"  Jesus answered, "I do not have a demon; but I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me.  And I do not seek My own glory; there is One who seeks and judges.  Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death."  Then the Jews said to Him, "Now we know that You have a demon!  Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and You say, 'If anyone keeps My word he shall never taste death.'  Are You greater than our father Abraham, who is dead?  And the prophets are dead.  Who do You make Yourself out to be?"  Jesus answered, "If I honor Myself, My honor is nothing.  It is My Father who honors Me, of whom you say that He is your God.  Yet you have not known Him, but I know Him.  And if I say, 'I do not know Him,' I shall be a liar like you; but I do know Him and keep His word.  Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad."  Then the Jews said to Him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?"  Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM."  Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.

 

  And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.  Our lectionary goes to a new point in St. John's Gospel, skipping over several chapters from our last reading.  This is because, in the West, this week is the beginning of Lent.  (This year Eastern Orthodox Easter will come one month after Western Easter.  This is because, in the Eastern Orthodox calculation, Easter must take place after Passover, in accordance with the events of Christ's Crucifixion and Resurrection as reported in the Gospels.)  So our readings for this work form a sort of interim period, introducing us to Lent in a sense, and a week from today will begin readings from St. Mark's Gospel.  Here in today's reading, we're given the experience of St. Peter at the time of Jesus' trial in the home of the high priest.  Here, my study Bible tells us, the other disciple spoken of is John, the author of this Gospel.  It was a common practice, as author, to conceal one's own name in the details of one's story (see John 13:23; compare Mark 14:51-52; Luke 24:13, 18).  

 

Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.  My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  This fallen state is overcome in Christ, it tells us, when a woman is the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (John 20:1, 11-18).  

The high priest then asked Jesus about His disciples and His doctrine.  Jesus answered him, "I spoke openly to the world.  I always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where the Jews always meet, and  in secret I have said nothing.  Why do you ask Me?  Ask those who have heard Me what I said to them.  Indeed they know what I said."  And when He had said these things, one of the officers who stood by struck Jesus with the palm of his hand, saying, "Do You answer the high priest like that?"  Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken evil, bear witness of the evil; but if well, why do you strike Me?"  Then Annas sent Him bound to Caiaphas the high priest.   The lectionary skips over this section of the Gospel, focusing on the story of Peter in this context.  But it is useful to include this passage as context and backdrop to Peter's story, Here, the questioning of the high priest is meant as an attempt to uncover subversive activity that would not only violate the Law of Moses, my study Bible says, but be reason enough to accuse Jesus of a political crime before Pilate.  The two points of question put to Jesus pertain to His disciples and His doctrine, which my study Bible describes as two essential components of Christ and His Church.  

 

 Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.  After his three denials here in today's reading, my study Bible says, Peter will be restored through his three affirmations of love following the Resurrection (John 21:15-17). 

 

Today's story of Peter's denials would not be complete without also understanding Christ's warning to him about this very event.  This takes place at the Last Supper, just prior to Jesus' arrest.  In John 13:36-38, Peter declares he will lay down his life for Christ's sake, and Jesus responds by saying to him, "Will you lay down your life for My sake? Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times."  Today's text gave us the story of Peter's three denials before he heard the rooster's crow.  Sts. Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us of Peter's tears upon realizing what he has done (Matthew 26:75; Mark 14:72; Luke 22:62).  Perhaps St. John, out of compassion, spares us the vision of Peter weeping over his failure.  But what we really find repeatedly with Peter is his own exuberance that gets in the way and forms a stumbling block for him.  It's a reminder that our faith can't rely simply on an emotional attachment or enthusiasm, but must run more deeply within us, and in a sober place.  Just before Jesus predicts Peter's betrayal, He washes the disciples' feet at the Last Supper.  When He chooses to do so, Peter at first refuses, saying to Jesus, "You shall never wash my feet!"  Jesus tells Peter, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me."  To which Peter then replies, in complete turnabout, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!"  But Jesus corrects him yet again, telling him, "He who is bathed needs only to wash his feet, but is completely clean; and you are clean, but not all of you" (referring to His betrayer, Judas).  It is Peter's emotionalism that forms a stumbling block to real obedience.  Even directly after Peter's confession of faith that Jesus is the Christ, in Matthew 16, when Jesus first predicts His death and Resurrection to the disciples, we're told that Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, "Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!"  At that time Jesus replied to Peter, saying, "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men."  Jesus then emphasizes to all the disciples that if anyone wishes to follow Him, one must take up one's own cross in imitation of Him.  See Matthew 16:21-28. We may each be tempted to substitute for faith a kind of emotional exuberance.  But our journey of faith in Christ is not like being at a football game, where our emotions are stirred up to root for our team.  As with St. Peter's denial three times, what we witness is how easily such a basis for faith withers and falls apart.  And this is perhaps the best possible introduction to Lent, and the historical practices of fasting, almsgiving, and prayer that are associated with Lent.  These disciplines are, in fact, meant to do just that:  to strengthen us in the discipline of faith.  That is, our faith (our trust in Christ) has to follow a pattern of dealing with the realities we're given, including the temptations of our lives in the world.  Emotionalism alone cannot sustain that.  Instead, we're given tools so that we learn to say "No" to what is not really good for us, to draw lines and healthy boundaries, and above all to have the kind of discipline that sets us on an even keel, so that we aren't swayed by every emotional upheaval that confronts us in life.  Note that we are asked, also, to know ourselves in this journey (or perhaps we should say to come to know ourselves better as we go),  Most of all, in the history of the Church, the prime concern of such discipline was in dealing with what are called the passions.  That is, those great emotions that can cause so much upheaval and sway us from one place to another, easily dominating our better judgment and our thinking.  Passions such as anger, for example, or despair, for another, can cause us to go out on an emotional limb, forgetting our trust in Christ in the moment.  Fear and panic can easily do the same.  The disciplines of Lent, then, are ways to develop our capacity to say "No" even to the things that seem to be deeply a part of us, like our habits of anger or despair, perhaps even extreme anxiety or depression, so that even though we may feel these things, we are not swept under with them.  We can remember to anchor ourselves in Christ as the One in whom we trust, and upon whom we ultimately rely.  This is the power of Lent, to teach us that we are capable of growing in our faith, and in our likeness to Christ, for this is what He came into the world to do for us and to give us, so that we recognize more truly that He is with us and within us.  In this context, we may look to the portion of our reading in which is included the night trial of Christ at the home of the high priest.  For He is the model we're given in contrast to Peter.  Jesus remains true to His mission and what He must testify, regardless of the corruption and pressure of those who seek to entrap Him.  His humility and obedience to the Father are paramount.  As we embark upon this Lent, consider the practices that are historically a part of the Church, and consider what it is we build up and grow as we give of ourselves.  As Jesus taught in Matthew 16, after rebuking St. Peter:  "For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it."  Peter will return to Christ and the rest of the disciples after this night of his denials, and he will grow into the "Rock" of faith he was named by Christ.  Let us seek the grace that allows and enables that to happen, as we pay our own honor to the wisdom of our faith and its historical practices.  Let us also remember the role of humility that was so needful in Peter, and remains so necessary to us and our contemporaries.