So then they are no longer two, but one flesh

 

 Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan.  And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.  The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.  And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"  They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."  And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.  But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'  'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.  So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.  And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

 

Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.  Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."  And He took them up in His arms, laid His  hands on them, and blessed them. 

 

- Mark 10:1–16 

 

Yesterday, we read Jesus' continuation of His discussion with the disciples regarding future leadership in His Church, and the treatment of the "little ones."  This discussion began when the disciples disputed about which of them would be the greatest.  In yesterday's reading, Jesus said, "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.  If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.  It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched -- where 'Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'  And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off.  It is better for you to enter life lame, rather than having two feet, to be cast into hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched -- where 'Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.  It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire -- where 'Their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt.  Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it?  Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another."

 

  Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan.  And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.  The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.  And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"  They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."  And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.  But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.'  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.  So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.  And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."  In Jesus' time, divorce was a hotly debated topic.  The Pharisees generally agreed with Christ's viewpoint.  There were controversies over how money and dowry could be used which also determined legal guidelines regarding marriage, divorce, and subsequent remarriage.  My study Bible comments here that, in contrast to the easy access to divorce under the Mosaic Law, and because of the misuse of divorce in His time, Jesus repeatedly condemns divorce (He does so twice in St. Mathew's Gospel), and emphasizes the eternal nature of marriage.  The possibility of divorce on the ground of sexual immorality as mentioned in Matthew 5:32 shows that marriage, like other relationships, can be destroyed by sin.  Jesus quotes from Genesis 1:27 and 2:24.

 

 Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.  Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."  And He took them up in His arms, laid His  hands on them, and blessed them.  My study Bible explains that, according to Theophylact, the disciples rebuked the mothers for bringing little children to Jesus both because their manner was "unruly" and they also thought that children "diminished His dignity as Teacher and Master."  Jesus rejects this thinking, however, and sets little children as an example of those who inherit the kingdom of God.  So, therefore, in Church children are invited -- even as example -- to participate in the Kingdom through prayer, worship, baptism, chrismation, and Communion.  My study Bible comments that children can be models of the virtues necessary for entrance into the Kingdom:  humility, dependence, lowliness, simplicity, obedience, and a willingness to love and be loved.

 

 The nature of marriage has possibly changed in a certain sense since Christ's time, at least for most in the West. For the great majority of human history, marriage was a matter for family arrangement.  Of course, customs have varied from culture to culture.  For those of us used to a more modern notion of mutual attraction prior to marriage, the history of arranged marriage might seem strange or alien.  But the most common thing that we can understand about marriage is a kind of mutual dependence within a relationship which Jesus describes with a powerful image of communion, quoting from Genesis 1:27 and 2:24.  This emphasis on the nature of marriage as a bond deep enough so that the two "become one flesh" becomes in the perspective of Christ something more than merely contractual.  The "easy divorce" my study Bible comments on under the Mosaic Law is something that Jesus says was given because of the "hardness of their hearts."  We must note that in this answer, He is speaking to men, for men had the power to divorce.  It's important to consider why Jesus would call easy divorce a product of the hardness of men's hearts, if we're going to put into perspective Christ's views on marriage.  As in today's reading this topic is coupled with another passage on "little ones" (this time literally meaning little children), perhaps we need to take a broader view in the context of the things we've been reading over the past several days in Mark's Gospel.  If we recall, recent passages began with a discussion among the disciples as to who would be greatest, and Jesus spoke to them of service, that the greatest among them should be the servant of all.  He strictly warned them in yesterday's reading about the abuse of those with less power in the Church, the "little ones."  Taken together, all of these teachings form foundational precepts about the nature of community and relationships through the eyes of Christ, and marriage is no exception. He emphasizes love and care.  In the case of marriage, if two become "one flesh" then it stands to reason that husbands and wives ought to care for each another as they care for themselves, in a sense that asks for the deepest consideration.  Today's reading is also followed by yet another passage on the "little ones," this time regarding children themselves, and Christ's fond love for them, "for of such is the kingdom of God."  Through all of these teachings we read recently, Christ's emphasis is ultimately on love, relationships which are more than transactional but are rooted in the understanding of God's work and purpose behind all things.  If we (as inheritors of the traditions of the disciples) are meant to receive "little ones" as if we are receiving Christ, then how must we live in accordance with the teaching that "two become one flesh?"   This sense of interdependence, then, becomes one in which our hearts open to the other in the deepest way, an acceptance of love and care as a foundation for marriage, which in turn becomes a part of the fabric of a society.  If easy divorce is permitted because of "hardness of heart," then it stands to reason that Christ's prescription of marriage as eternal in nature is one that emphasizes the opposite, the mutual care and consideration of those with whom we share our lives.  Perhaps the word "share" is most important, as in the tradition of the Church (at least in Orthodox teaching), marriage is seen as the layperson's way to holiness, precisely because of the nature of mutual giving that constitutes marriage.   In mutual sacrifice for one another, we are meant to grow beyond our own self-centeredness.  Of course, Holy Matrimony in the Church is itself a sacrament, and so all becomes couched and mediated in the embrace of God, as well as part of the mysteries of the Church.  Thus we have the help of the Spirit, and the love of Christ, also involved in marriage, and helping to enable the kind of growth that is possible in such relationship.  Let us consider the power of love which is of God, for God is love (1 John 4:8), and how this forms a basis for marriage and the blessings that may come from marriage.  In a modern context of hyper-consumer orientation, it may be difficult to consider, but Christ asks us to see mutual sacrifice as part of this blessing, also something which spreads to community.  Let us consider the nature of love, and the bonds that love creates through mutual giving, especially where the two may become one flesh.  In this our faith can guide us and strengthen us, building us up so that we may in turn give to others.

 

 

 

 

What God has joined together, let not man separate

Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan.  And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.  The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.  And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"  They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."  And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.  But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."

In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.  So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.  And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.  Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."  And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.

- Mark 10:1-16

Yesterday, we read that Jesus continued His talk with the disciples from the reading of the day before:  "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea.  If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.  It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched -- where 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'  And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off.  It is better for you to enter life lame, rather than having two feet, to be cast into hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched -- where 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.  It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, rather than having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire -- where 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.' For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt.  Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it?  Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another."

Then He arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan.  And multitudes gathered to Him again, and as He was accustomed, He taught them again.  My study bible says, "Having completed His Galilean ministry, Jesus begins His Judean ministry, the focus of which is Jerusalem.  Jesus taught regularly.  Teaching is not all people need, but it is indispensable for effective Christian living."

 The Pharisees came and asked Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" testing Him.  And He answered and said to them, "What did Moses command you?"  They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."  My study bible indicates that the scribes and Pharisees often debated the legal basis of divorce in Judaism (Deut. 24:1-4).  But here, the point is to test Jesus.  It says, "Divorce was very simple for a man during the time of Jesus:  a mere certificate written by a dissatisfied husband was all that was needed."

And Jesus answered and said to them, "Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept."  A note here says, "Moses' legislation on divorce is a concession to a human weakness, hardness of heart, which is at the root of divorce on the part of one partner or both."

"But from the beginning of the creation, God 'made them male and female.  For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."   My study bible says here:  "Jesus goes back to the original will of God for permanent, monogamous marriage, indicated by the creation of man and woman as well as by God's explicit command in Genesis 2:24.  Then they are no longer two, but one flesh is the heart of the biblical teaching on marriage:  Husband and wife are one flesh, joined together in oneness by God.  This is not symbolic or merely moral but real -- a man and woman are actually joined, creating a total unity which is unbreakable.  Therefore, marriage is a sacrament by the grace of God.  The issue in this passage is not whether divorce is permissible, but whether the union between husband and wife can be broken -- even when a divorce occurs." 

In the house His disciples also asked Him again about the same matter.  So He said to them, "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.  And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."  My study bible says that "according to Jesus, remarriage after divorce is equivalent to adultery.  If a woman divorces her husband is a case applicable only to Gentiles, for a Jewish woman could not legally divorce her husband.  Mark does not report Matthew's exception for divorce, 'except for sexual immorality' (Matt. 19:9).  St. Paul also knew of Christ's command repudiating divorce (1 Cor. 7:10)."  A note on the comparable text in Matthew says that the ancient Church eventually expanded reasons for divorce to include a threat to one partner's life, desertion, and forced prostitution.

Then they brought little children to Him, that He might touch them; but the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  But when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.  Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it."  And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.  A note says that "Jesus rebukes the disciples not only because He has compassion for children, but because children are models of those who receive the kingdom in their openness and simple trust."

If we look at these verses in the context of yesterday's reading (and that of the day before), we may look with the attitude that Jesus has already tried to inculcate into the disciples:  that of compassion.  He's warned them about how to treat the "little ones," using an example of a child.  Here, He warns against the hard-heartedness of men who would divorce women very easily and simply, for any reason.  The quotation from Genesis, to my mind, signifies an absolute equality between the genders from the spiritual point of view, and more . . .  this union is so close that they are as one flesh.  It's a kind of restatement of how we are to love neighbor as ourselves.  In this case, man and woman are inseparable from one another within the marriage bond; it is as if, spiritually, they are a part of one another, one unit, one flesh.  This is a kind of humility in relationship, just as He has taught the disciples about humility toward the "little ones" in the Church.  In order to understand the precept better, we need to take into account the limited status of women in the society (indeed throughout the ages until quite recently), and see where Jesus is coming from.  With the ingredient of compassion, the idea that each feels what the other experiences, as "one flesh," life takes on a completely different sense than simply a kind of joining that says "this is my wife" or "this is my husband."  And it's also important to understand how we can abuse this gift, this spiritual bond.  Just as we can abuse and reject our relationship to God, to Christ, so we also do to a spouse.  Love is a gift from God, and the relationship two people can cultivate with one another, so much so that we become "one flesh," is also to be seen as a gift from God.  It may be made up into our very natures, but marriage is also a sacrament, and a sacrament is a mystery -- a very mysterious thing.  We can't quite understand how it is that we become "one flesh."  Where one partner begins and the other one ends may be hard to tell within a very short period; the bond that forms when one leaves father and mother and joins to spouse is one that is very real and filters into every part of our lives, of who we are:  spiritually, emotionally, mentally, even physically in some senses.  But I think today we have to take the gift from God as that of love, and to see in all of Jesus' teachings the great nugget of gold that is compassion.  It's compassion that makes the difference between the letter of the law and the spirit.  It's also the thing that moves and energizes the whole of the Incarnation, and in today's teaching, Jesus is giving us a very, very "incarnational" way of manifesting His love, His spirit, His ministry.  That He embraces the little children is also an extension of this teaching and this example, a very "incarnational" expression of humility in love.  And that's what we take in relationship to those we've been joined to, to those we're given to love.  All of this remains, to my way of thinking, a great part of the mystery of God at work in us and among us.  Let us not forget that all of these bonds can be abused, mistreated, and destroyed by our own choices -- just as our relationship to God can suffer the same.  It's all about love, a compassion that vivifies, that is at its heart a secret, a mystery of God, a gift that will grow in us if we accept and nurture it, with Him.