And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly

Rembrandt van Rijn. The Denial of Peter. 1660, Rijksmuseum Amsterdam

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

- Matthew 26:69-75

Yesterday we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  My study bible remarks that as it is a girl who is the first to test Peter, this is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  In yet another powerful impact of this time of evil, our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  Until the rooster crowed, Peter was so overcome with fear that he had forgotten Christ's prediction of his denial (Matthew 26:31-35).   In Luke's Gospel, it is not even the rooster's crow but only the gaze of Christ that causes Peter to weep bitterly in repentance (Luke 22:60-61).  Nonetheless, St. Ambrose of Milan comments that "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

What happens when we let ourselves down, or when our own cowardice becomes a source of regret and shame?  St. Peter displays for us this scene of deep regret, crying bitter tears over his own denial of Christ.  It must be made all the worse for Peter's memory of objecting directly to Jesus after the prophesy He made concerning Peter's denial, when Jesus told Peter, "Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times" (26:35).  And then Peter replied to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (26:36).  It is one thing to let oneself down, to let a loved one down, even to let down one's friends.  But Peter's denial and failure come in such a spectacular way, despite his most vehement declaration in directly contradicting Christ and His prophecy -- and it happens due to fear at the question of a servant girl.  Perhaps, and I would say most assuredly it is so, Peter's rather spectacular failure and shame is given to us in the Gospels for a very good reason.  How can we possibly understand our own lives if we are not given such examples?  Who among us can declare ourselves free of the same type of spectacular failures, albeit on a much less renowned level?  In the Gospels, Peter's great failure here is declared to the world, and continues to be declared to the world, but for a very good and perfect reason.  It is so that we, ourselves understand our lives in terms of our own failures, embarrassments, and shame.  Peter, the great leader of and speaker for all of the apostles, goes before us on a road of humility and of love.  Humility, because we all need to come to terms with ourselves and our own failure to live up to our expectations of ourselves.  And love, because Peter is welcomed back with love by Christ quite specifically.  The angel at the tomb, in giving the myrrh-bearing women the great news of Resurrection, says to them, "But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you."  And in Jesus' last appearance to him, Jesus specifically calls Peter to the task ahead of feeding His lambs (John 21:15-19), but first asking, "Do you love Me?"  What we understand through Peter's disappointment and crushing failure to live up to his own declaration of loyalty to Christ, is that via repentance, there is always room in this fold for one who is willing to put their hand to the plow, and follow Him.  Our worst letdowns, our most embarrassing and humiliating failures, are in the end, all fodder for the proper teachings of Christ.  In this journey of faith, there is nothing in our lives that will be left out.  There is nothing within us that cannot be used, transformed, repented, and especially challenging us to "get over ourselves," and come to the place of humility that all truly great service starts with.  We cannot possibly know how spectacularly we can be redeemed until we reckon with our own shortcomings (especially in our own eyes) within the love and care of Christ.  It is perhaps the times of our greatest humiliation that can, in fact, serve as the most powerful stepping stones for growth and transcendence in Christ's work within us.  For it is at that place where we realize that it is the "praise of God" that matters, the direction we're offered through divine love, and not the "praise of men."  It is in that crucible where we find our real identity rests in the Word who spoke us into existence in the first place.  That is where our life begins, and it is also the place to which we repeatedly return, particularly in repentance and in the depth of prayer.  Jesus goes to the Cross, a place of the most humiliating punishment, ridicule, and rejection.  But He shows us the way through our own times of personal failure, just as Peter will become an apostle who will indeed "die with Christ" rather than deny Him at the end of his life in this world, as Christ prophesies (John 21:18-19).  It is the power of the Cross that takes our worst experiences, and rebuilds our lives in Christ's hands, for service, and for the life of the world.  In this way, we might also enter into the those who have labored before us.