I do not know the Man!

 

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly. 

 

- Matthew 26:69–75 

 

Yesterday we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  My study Bible comments here that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It notes that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when we shall see that it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Matthew 28:1-10).  

 

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"   And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  That his speech betrays him is said by this second girl because St. Peter speaks in the dialect or accent of the Galilean region, where both he and Jesus are from.  Jerusalem is in Judea.

 

Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  In St. Luke's Gospel, we're given the detail that, following the rooster's crow, Jesus -- who is inside on trial at the home of the high priest, while St. Peter is in the courtyard -- gazes at St. Peter outside (Luke 22:60-62).  According to that account, Peter is so overcome with fear that neither Jesus' earlier prediction (Matthew 26:31-35), nor even the rooster crowing, call him to repentance, but only the Lord's gaze causes him to weep bitterly.  St. Ambrose of Milan is cited by my study Bible, who writes that nonetheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

 

 St. Peter betrays himself, even as he denies Christ three times, as Jesus Himself predicted (see Matthew 26:31-35).  This is most humiliating for St. Peter, as it happens despite the fact that at that time, he claimed to Jesus -- and before all the rest of the disciples -- "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble."  It was after this statement that Jesus told him that, indeed, before the rooster crowed that morning, St. Peter would deny Jesus three times.  But St. Peter only replied, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!"  Therefore St. Peter's bitter tears cry out his humiliation and failure, the bitter understanding that he has failed himself, his Lord, and his own claim of bold allegiance before all.  There's more to this story that merits our understanding.  In proclaiming his allegiance to Jesus, he contradicted Jesus Himself when he was told that he would deny Christ three times.  It is a bold thing indeed, to deny a prophecy of Christ -- particularly about oneself!  Bold and foolish, for no one knows us like Christ knows us.  Oftentimes we are the ones who know ourselves very little; like St. Peter, our own image of ourselves hides a blindness to our weaknesses and temptations.  It is certain that St. Peter fully believed what he was saying to Christ and in front of the other disciples; most truly he believed that his courage would not fail him, nor would he be unable to muster that boldness to confess Christ even if all others failed.  And yet, we see his weakness before a servant girl and the others.  St. Peter's denial perhaps tells us something important about his character that is repeated in a few other places:  he's susceptible to the pressure of the group, his people.  When loyalties are tested, that is his temptation.  He shows this as a part of his character that will be criticized by St. Paul, when he temporarily stopped eating with Gentile Christians out of fear of the criticism of Jewish believers who did not wish to sit with those who were uncircumcised (see Galatians 2:11-13).  According to St. Paul, others were led astray into hypocrisy through this, even St. Barnabas as well.  As all of these details are included in Scripture, they all serve as mirror and warning to us all not to take temptation lightly, and to have the humility to know ourselves.  Of course, perhaps the best place to find the places we're vulnerable is through the practice of our faith in all ways possible, and through prayer.  Jesus teaches, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 18:3), and this lesson St. Peter fails when he does not heed Jesus warning about his three-time denial.  It is as little children -- plastic and malleable, receptive to learn -- that we are to come to Christ and learn from Him as disciples, and to grow in His image.  Part of that growth toward deeper faith and fuller union with Christ is to become aware of our weaknesses and vulnerabilities so that we guard against them -- and most certainly becoming like a little child in this sense is to learn the attitude of humility before the Lord.  In that sense, we trust that God knows us better than we know ourselves, and though we are led on paths that might not be comfortable, we are led to growth and to spiritual maturity through this process.  St. Peter is learning the hard way here, and with bitterness, but this is a story that easily applies to us all at one time or another -- and thus we find it in the Gospels.  It teaches us about our faith that St. Peter himself, one of the pillars of the Church and "first among equals" of the apostles, failed and grappled with his own imperfection.  But we should be grateful that his bitter tears are memorized in the Gospels for us, so that when we fail, we learn from him, for his love and repentance will send him back to the Lord, as St. John tells us in a most poignant passage of his Gospel (see John 21:15-22). For St. Peter, who endured even a terrible rebuke from Jesus, also has a capacity for humility which serves him well indeed!  In the fullness of Christ's love, we have nothing to fear.  May we all find such grace.

 

 

 

 

And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly

 

Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"   Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

 

- Matthew 26:69-75 

 

Yesterday we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve in Genesis 3:6.  It says that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).  

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"   Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  My study Bible comments that in this scenario in the courtyard, Peter is so overcome with fear that Christ's earlier prediction (see Matthew 26:31-35, especially verse 34) does nothing to make him aware of what he is doing until he hears the crowing of the rooster, and he remembers Christ's word.  In St. Luke's version of these events, it is only the gaze of Christ that calls Peter back to remembrance (Luke 22:61-62).  His remembrance causes him to weep bitterly.  St. Ambrose of Milan comments that nevertheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

Peter weeps, purging his sin in true repentance, and realizing the truth of what he had done.  We recall his words to Christ on the night Christ predicted all the disciples would be made to stumble because of Him:   "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble," and "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (Matthew 26:33, 35).  These declarations, although vehement, in the end did nothing to prevent just such a scenario from happening.  Peter's own weakness is on display to himself, his denial plainly a denial of his own vulnerability and fears, and thus he weeps bitterly at having realized what he's done.  But Peter is our picture of courage and strength nonetheless.  He is a leader among the apostles.  We know his weaknesses and his exuberance.  In John's Gospel, Peter first declares to Jesus at the Last Supper, "You shall never wash my feet!"  But when Jesus tells him, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me," Peter changes altogether, and demands, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!" (John 13:3-9).  When Jesus first predicts His own death, Peter declares, "Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!"  We understand Peter's denials in this case, but it simply leads to a stunning rebuke by Jesus:  "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men" (see Matthew 16:21-23).  In the end of John's Gospel, Peter is directed by Jesus what he should do, and even given a preview of his courageous death.  But then he goes on to ask what the beloved disciple, John, must do, saying, "But Lord, what about this man?"  Jesus answers him by asking, "What is that to you?  You follow Me"  (see John 21:15-25).  In so many examples in the Gospels, Peter is the one, although a leader among the Twelve, and certainly a leader to come after Christ's death, who shows the weaknesses of human beings, our fallibilities, the one who stumbles through exuberance and emotion.  And yet, Peter is the one who comes to terms with his own failure in humility, recognizing how he has stumbled and disappointed himself.   In Peter we find both greatness and humility, the capacity for leadership of the fledgling Church that would soon spread to the entire known world, and yet the humility to be corrected.  And perhaps it is just this humility that gave Peter his greatest strength, for he is the one who could endure a rebuke of Christ and persist, and remain true to his calling despite Christ's prediction of Peter's own death by crucifixion (John 21:18-19).  I can speak for no one but myself, but I would venture to say that many (if not all) of us have parts of ourselves of which we're ashamed or embarrassed, aspects of weakness and vulnerability we'd not care to see nor to admit.  But Peter's strength is in acceptance of this truth about himself, even if accompanied by bitter tears.  For it enables him repeatedly to return to Christ, to find correction in repentance, to carry on and to manifest his position as leader in the early Church, "first among equals."  Let us find also his courage and humility, and his capacity for turning back to Christ, for it is a saving grace, the strength that restores us to our proper relation to Christ when we've stumbled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly

Rembrandt van Rijn. The Denial of Peter. 1660, Rijksmuseum Amsterdam

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

- Matthew 26:69-75

Yesterday we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  My study bible remarks that as it is a girl who is the first to test Peter, this is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  In yet another powerful impact of this time of evil, our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you are also one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  Until the rooster crowed, Peter was so overcome with fear that he had forgotten Christ's prediction of his denial (Matthew 26:31-35).   In Luke's Gospel, it is not even the rooster's crow but only the gaze of Christ that causes Peter to weep bitterly in repentance (Luke 22:60-61).  Nonetheless, St. Ambrose of Milan comments that "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

What happens when we let ourselves down, or when our own cowardice becomes a source of regret and shame?  St. Peter displays for us this scene of deep regret, crying bitter tears over his own denial of Christ.  It must be made all the worse for Peter's memory of objecting directly to Jesus after the prophesy He made concerning Peter's denial, when Jesus told Peter, "Assuredly, I say to you that this night, before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times" (26:35).  And then Peter replied to Him, "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (26:36).  It is one thing to let oneself down, to let a loved one down, even to let down one's friends.  But Peter's denial and failure come in such a spectacular way, despite his most vehement declaration in directly contradicting Christ and His prophecy -- and it happens due to fear at the question of a servant girl.  Perhaps, and I would say most assuredly it is so, Peter's rather spectacular failure and shame is given to us in the Gospels for a very good reason.  How can we possibly understand our own lives if we are not given such examples?  Who among us can declare ourselves free of the same type of spectacular failures, albeit on a much less renowned level?  In the Gospels, Peter's great failure here is declared to the world, and continues to be declared to the world, but for a very good and perfect reason.  It is so that we, ourselves understand our lives in terms of our own failures, embarrassments, and shame.  Peter, the great leader of and speaker for all of the apostles, goes before us on a road of humility and of love.  Humility, because we all need to come to terms with ourselves and our own failure to live up to our expectations of ourselves.  And love, because Peter is welcomed back with love by Christ quite specifically.  The angel at the tomb, in giving the myrrh-bearing women the great news of Resurrection, says to them, "But go, tell His disciples—and Peter—that He is going before you into Galilee; there you will see Him, as He said to you."  And in Jesus' last appearance to him, Jesus specifically calls Peter to the task ahead of feeding His lambs (John 21:15-19), but first asking, "Do you love Me?"  What we understand through Peter's disappointment and crushing failure to live up to his own declaration of loyalty to Christ, is that via repentance, there is always room in this fold for one who is willing to put their hand to the plow, and follow Him.  Our worst letdowns, our most embarrassing and humiliating failures, are in the end, all fodder for the proper teachings of Christ.  In this journey of faith, there is nothing in our lives that will be left out.  There is nothing within us that cannot be used, transformed, repented, and especially challenging us to "get over ourselves," and come to the place of humility that all truly great service starts with.  We cannot possibly know how spectacularly we can be redeemed until we reckon with our own shortcomings (especially in our own eyes) within the love and care of Christ.  It is perhaps the times of our greatest humiliation that can, in fact, serve as the most powerful stepping stones for growth and transcendence in Christ's work within us.  For it is at that place where we realize that it is the "praise of God" that matters, the direction we're offered through divine love, and not the "praise of men."  It is in that crucible where we find our real identity rests in the Word who spoke us into existence in the first place.  That is where our life begins, and it is also the place to which we repeatedly return, particularly in repentance and in the depth of prayer.  Jesus goes to the Cross, a place of the most humiliating punishment, ridicule, and rejection.  But He shows us the way through our own times of personal failure, just as Peter will become an apostle who will indeed "die with Christ" rather than deny Him at the end of his life in this world, as Christ prophesies (John 21:18-19).  It is the power of the Cross that takes our worst experiences, and rebuilds our lives in Christ's hands, for service, and for the life of the world.  In this way, we might also enter into the those who have labored before us.