And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly

 

Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"   Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

 

- Matthew 26:69-75 

 

Yesterday we read that those who had laid hold of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?"

 

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve in Genesis 3:6.  It says that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).  

And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"   Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  My study Bible comments that in this scenario in the courtyard, Peter is so overcome with fear that Christ's earlier prediction (see Matthew 26:31-35, especially verse 34) does nothing to make him aware of what he is doing until he hears the crowing of the rooster, and he remembers Christ's word.  In St. Luke's version of these events, it is only the gaze of Christ that calls Peter back to remembrance (Luke 22:61-62).  His remembrance causes him to weep bitterly.  St. Ambrose of Milan comments that nevertheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

Peter weeps, purging his sin in true repentance, and realizing the truth of what he had done.  We recall his words to Christ on the night Christ predicted all the disciples would be made to stumble because of Him:   "Even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble," and "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (Matthew 26:33, 35).  These declarations, although vehement, in the end did nothing to prevent just such a scenario from happening.  Peter's own weakness is on display to himself, his denial plainly a denial of his own vulnerability and fears, and thus he weeps bitterly at having realized what he's done.  But Peter is our picture of courage and strength nonetheless.  He is a leader among the apostles.  We know his weaknesses and his exuberance.  In John's Gospel, Peter first declares to Jesus at the Last Supper, "You shall never wash my feet!"  But when Jesus tells him, "If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me," Peter changes altogether, and demands, "Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!" (John 13:3-9).  When Jesus first predicts His own death, Peter declares, "Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!"  We understand Peter's denials in this case, but it simply leads to a stunning rebuke by Jesus:  "Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men" (see Matthew 16:21-23).  In the end of John's Gospel, Peter is directed by Jesus what he should do, and even given a preview of his courageous death.  But then he goes on to ask what the beloved disciple, John, must do, saying, "But Lord, what about this man?"  Jesus answers him by asking, "What is that to you?  You follow Me"  (see John 21:15-25).  In so many examples in the Gospels, Peter is the one, although a leader among the Twelve, and certainly a leader to come after Christ's death, who shows the weaknesses of human beings, our fallibilities, the one who stumbles through exuberance and emotion.  And yet, Peter is the one who comes to terms with his own failure in humility, recognizing how he has stumbled and disappointed himself.   In Peter we find both greatness and humility, the capacity for leadership of the fledgling Church that would soon spread to the entire known world, and yet the humility to be corrected.  And perhaps it is just this humility that gave Peter his greatest strength, for he is the one who could endure a rebuke of Christ and persist, and remain true to his calling despite Christ's prediction of Peter's own death by crucifixion (John 21:18-19).  I can speak for no one but myself, but I would venture to say that many (if not all) of us have parts of ourselves of which we're ashamed or embarrassed, aspects of weakness and vulnerability we'd not care to see nor to admit.  But Peter's strength is in acceptance of this truth about himself, even if accompanied by bitter tears.  For it enables him repeatedly to return to Christ, to find correction in repentance, to carry on and to manifest his position as leader in the early Church, "first among equals."  Let us find also his courage and humility, and his capacity for turning back to Christ, for it is a saving grace, the strength that restores us to our proper relation to Christ when we've stumbled.