So then, they are no longer two but one flesh

 

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  

 

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

 

- Matthew 19:1–12 

 

Yesterday we read that after Jesus gave to the disciples a system for mutual correction and forgiveness in the Church (Matthew 18:15-17), Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison will he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 

Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  My study Bible explains that the basis for the Pharisees' test of Christ here is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  It says that God's condescension, or allowance, for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1; 2.  With authority, Jesus adds His own clear prohibition against divorce twice here (verses 6; 9).  In the ancient Church, the permissible reasons for divorce were expanded to include threat to a spouse's or child's life and desertion.  But in all cases, acknowledging the spiritual tragedy of such a situation. 

 

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  My study Bible comments that here Christ is steering the disciples toward understanding the holiness of virginity.  This is not a rejection of marriage, but rather evoked as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated, whether by birth defect, disease, or mutilation.  They were often employed to guard women of nobility.  Here Jesus is using this term figuratively for those who freely choose lifelong celibacy for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.  This is a consecrated virginity.  It's not to be confused with self-mutilation, which was condemned at the First Ecumenical Council (AD 325).  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7; 25-38.

 

 Jesus speaks of marriage as an eternal state, a union of two people so strong that "the two become one flesh."  In Holy Matrimony we have a hope and spiritual help for us to realize and grow into such a relationship.  In a modern world in which so much emphasis is placed on what we are able to gather to ourselves, the nature of sacrifice as mutually beneficial is not often counseled or understood.  But to give up some things for our lives is often the best thing we can do.  This is obvious in the case of bad habits, such as over-consumption of foods which are not healthy for us, or the intake of drugs or other chemicals and substances (such as tobacco, for instance) which also are not healthy for us.  But in marriage (as is the case also in child-rearing), mutual sacrifice is asked of us for a truly monogamous state.  This is not simply forsaking all others.  This refers to the personal things we give up for marriage, as an institution or perhaps we should say living organism that needs our commitment and our nurturing.  This is true in the sense that if we are well-nourished, we're not just consuming everything in sight, but also restricting amounts and substances to be beneficial for our health.  And so it is with marriage.  Selfishness and self-centeredness within marriage leads to problems because both are foundations of sin.  And, importantly, relationships can be broken by sin, by abuse.  Just as we read recently of Christ's teaching for mutual correction and forgiveness in the Church, so it is with a marriage.  This includes both a need for honesty about abuse or sinful behavior that hurts another, as well as the practice of forgiveness.  Both together are needed, and both ask of us a kind of sacrifice in one way and another.  Marriage is not a fairy tale, it's not a meal-ticket, it's not meant for mere transactional behavior or orientation toward another person.  We are meant to grow toward one another, and to grow together.  With the Church as foundational to marriage, we have spiritual help and mercy to guide us in this endeavor, for marriage is an adventure of life, full of responsibilities, difficulties, dangers, joys, and most of all, love.  For we learn love in this way.  And love may be asked of us in all kinds of ways, from care and consideration for one another, to care for children, for elderly dependent parents, and a host of circumstances which may seem "unfair" but in reality are challenges to meet within that framework of give and take and growth together in love.  Let us note that Jesus also takes great care to address the unmarried, those who are celibate, and to assure all of us through His teaching that, particularly in the Church, there is a place for those persons too. All are necessary and beloved to Christ.  Let us give thanks for it all, and for the promises of love and growth, in Christ's way.

 

 

Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate

 

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  

 

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."

 

- Matthew 19:1–12 

 

In yesterday's reading we read that, after Jesus' teaching on mutual correction in the Church, Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Up to seven times?"  Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.  Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.  But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made.  The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.  But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'  So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'  And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.  So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.  Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant!  I forgave you all that debt because you begged me.  Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?'  And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.  So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

 

 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.  And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.  The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?"  And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?  So then, they are no longer two but one flesh.  Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."  They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"  He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery."  My study Bible informs us that the basis of the Pharisees' test in this question about divorce is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.  It notes that God's condescension, or allowance for human weakness, does not override the original principle of permanent monogamous marriage as revealed in Genesis 1; 2.  With authority, Christ twice adds His own clear prohibition against divorce here.  We note Christ's preaching on divorce in the Sermon on the Mount found at Matthew 5:31-32.  See also Malachi 2:13-16.  Regarding Christ's final statement here, my study Bible also notes that the possible reasons for divorce were expanded in the ancient Church to include threat to a spouse's or a child's life and desertion, in all cases acknowledging the spiritual tragedy of such a situation.

His disciples said to Him, "If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry."  But He said to them, "All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:  For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it."  Here my study Bible asks us to see that Christ steers the disciples toward understanding the holiness of virginity -- not as a rejection of marriage, but rather as a special calling for those to whom it has been given.  Eunuchs were men who had been castrated -- whether by birth, defect, disease, or mutilation -- and were often employed to guard women of nobility.  They played a powerful role in the ancient and historical kingdoms of the world.   But here, Jesus uses this term figuratively for those who freely choose lifelong celibacy for the kingdom of heaven.  My study Bible adds that this consecrated virginity is not to be confused with self-mutilation, which the Church condemned at the First Ecumenical Council (AD 325).  See also 1 Corinthians 7:7, 25-38.

The questions regarding divorce proposed to Jesus by the Pharisees were very hotly debated issues in their time.  The Pharisees spent time and energy on questions of the regulation of divorce, and differed from their opponents such as the Sadducees in the Council (the Pharisees were closer to Christ's position, favoring a more strict understanding of the practices of divorce).  Often such questions involved the issues of money and dowry, which included practices of remarriage after divorce to the same woman.  But for our purposes let us consider the emphasis in my study Bible on Jesus' pronouncement of the sacredness of marriage, and the bonds of such a union as a holy institution.  This is where marriage becomes more than a contract, even more than a social contract or personal relationship.  In Christ's view (and in the view of the passage from Malachi previously cited above), marriage in some sense involves three parties:  the two spouses and God who brings them together in the sacrament of marriage.  In the words of Malachi, God is witness in the marriage.  Therefore what Jesus emphasizes here (as well as Malachi) isn't simply the importance of the marriage bond, but rather God's role in sealing and growing that bond, the Spirit enforcing and helping its union.  This adds a different dimension to marriage that is meant to nurture something much deeper than simply what two people can bring to the table, so to speak, in their marriage.  It adds, if we may use this metaphor, the leaven of God to the union of the marriage, in which we can think of marriage not as a static bond, but rather as something which is dynamic.  That is, a relationship that grows and evolves.  In that sense, Jesus invites us to think of marriage as something that needs prayer and nurturing within the holiness God can help bring to it.  And there we may also pause to consider that this teaching comes immediately after Christ's teaching on mutual correction in the Church, as well as on forgiveness in the process of the same.  Essentially both involve the need to rely upon God, upon the communion God offers us within which our own relationships may dwell, and this becomes in some sense the "leaven" of the marriage.  Marriage may involve intense struggles and sacrifices, and can be a bedrock within which people suffer through tragedies and great difficulties that worldly life can offer to us.  A sick or disabled parent, the tragic illness of a spouse, possible afflictions of a child, and worldly events such as wars, natural disasters, and other upheavals, even social calamity, all become part of the experience of marriage when two people bound in holy matrimony must face and struggle with such issues together.  In the modern world, such struggle and sacrifice is all too frequently undermined and undervalued, but it is the very stuff of the bonds we understand of human relationships, and within which children also take their own security and form an awareness of how bonds between people can function,  Marriage also asks of us discipline in all the ways that Christ teaches us as His followers:  to watch our words, to know our own weaknesses and flaws, and to engage in the process of repentance and forgiveness.  For all of these reasons and more, the Orthodox Church has traditionally called marriage the layperson's way to holiness, the counterpart of monastic life for those others whom Jesus also discusses in today's reading.  Therefore, let us not undervalue marriage as an institution built as part of God's ideal for us, even a kind of effort of mutual giving and sacrifice that builds the bonds of love, tenacity, and a depth of the heart that we would otherwise not know.  These are primary values to hold in our world, which root goodness and depth in our lives, and which are a terrible shame to lose.  Young people who suffer from the loss of such as children often struggle to root their own lives in finding and bringing this depth of relationship and commitment to their own children, for they feel this loss keenly.  When we lose sight of this through easy divorce or lack of commitment to such values, we lose goodness in our lives.  Love always becomes the ultimate root of everything that Jesus teaches us, and importantly, this also includes the "eunuchs" about whom Jesus teaches as well, bringing a sacredness to the commitment of virginity in service to the Lord.  Therefore, no one is left out of this teaching, because there is none left out of God's love and communion in this structure of the Kingdom which Jesus tells us about here.  All are included in the bonds of love and communion and holiness, every one.