Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So Peter went out and wept bitterly

 

Caravaggio, The Crucifixion of St. Peter.  Circa 1600, Cerasi Chapel, Santa Maria del Popolo, Rome

 Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."

Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.

 

- Luke 22:52-62 

 

 Coming out, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him.  When He came to the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."  And He was withdrawn from them about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him.  And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly.  Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.  Then He said to them, "Why do you sleep?  Rise and pray, lest you enter into temptation."  And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him.  But Jesus said to him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"  When those around Him saw what was going to happen, they said to Him, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?"  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear.  But Jesus answered and said, "Permit even this."  And He touched his ear and healed him.  

 

  Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."  Especially in John's Gospel, we get images of light corresponding to Christ, to God, and to the power of God working within and through human beings.  Darkness here is symbolic of all that rejects that light.  My study Bible refers us to Christ's words to Nicodemus:  "And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God" (John 3:19-21).

Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  My study Bible comments here that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It notes that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when women are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).  

Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.  My study Bible notes that Peter is so overcome with fear that neither the prediction of Jesus at the Last Supper (Luke 22:34) nor the crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance.  Only the gaze of the Lord causes him to weep bitterly.  Nonetheless, comments St. Ambrose of Milan, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

If we take St. Ambrose's commentary seriously, we understand him to be saying something profound about human tears.  It is frequently asserted within Orthodox spiritually and the monastic tradition that tears are the surest sign of repentance.  No doubt this is drawn at least partially from this memorable example of St. Peter and his bitter tears.  But psychologically, we can also understand something deeper about the nature of tears and the state of our being:  tears frequently are a sign of truth being told.  Often, in popular culture, one may see a recording of a person purporting to confess repentance for something, and people will point out that they see no tears, even though one may see what is meant to be understood as crying.  Moreover, even if it is not a personal sin being repented, but a recollection of something true that happened which gave birth to some form of trauma, or a difficult truth is being faced and told, tears will also make their appearance -- giving once again witness to truth.  There are times when tears will accompany a recognition of great joy, overwhelming beauty, or transformational change for which we are deeply grateful.  In each case, the tears form themselves as involuntary witnesses to truth being recognized.  In the Eastern Orthodox tradition, prayer ropes are used for the repetition of the Jesus Prayer.  These will frequently have tassels attached to them; it is said that the tassel is for the wiping away of the tears of repentance.   But let us focus on St. Peter and his bitter tears of repentance, for these are the way that St. Peter has come to terms with himself, and with his own failing as he has come to know it.  To understand it truly, we have to reread Luke 22:31-34, the verses that tell us about his interaction with Jesus.  Jesus first warned Peter -- on behalf of all of the disciples -- that Satan wanted to "sift" them "as wheat."  But He said to Peter, "I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."  Peter's response was to declare to Jesus, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."  In today's reading, Peter comes to recognize not simply his failure to live up to these words, but his own unawareness of himself and his own weaknesses.  Far from this image he no doubt had of himself at the time, in this experience he is defeated even by the gaze of a servant girl, and denies being a follower of Christ three times.  The bitterness of the tears is the truth of his recognition of himself, including the weakness Christ fully recognized when He admonished all of the disciples -- and particularly Peter -- to pray so as not to fall into temptation.  The truth we are given here in the Gospel of Luke, however, is not just about Peter, but about all of us.  How often do we disappoint ourselves with weakness?  How do we come to terms with the recognition of our own sad failings, even as we wish -- and even if we believe -- we are different?  Our faith does not task us with the impossible, but serves us here in the Gospel and elsewhere where this story is recounted the truth about who we are as human beings, and about those who would go on to become truly great in their full service to Christ.   Ultimately, we do not know the full history of St. Peter's life.  In one apocryphal tradition, the story of St. Peter's death is one of crucifixion -- and in his humility, asking to be crucified upside down, not considering himself worthy of being crucified in the same manner as Christ.  In this understanding, the man who bragged and failed had become humble indeed, and fully heroic in his humility.  It is a teaching for us all in the image of this man who would become a leader among the disciples, that it is ultimately his repentance and humility which made him great.  At the Last Supper, Jesus taught the disciples that "he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves" (Luke 22:26).  At the end of John's Gospel, Jesus prophesies Peter's eventual death by first telling him, "Feed My Sheep.  Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish," adding, "Follow Me" (John 21:17-19).  In today's reading, Peter's bitter tears teach us about this lesson learned, and it is one for each of us.