I do not know this Man of whom you speak!

 

 Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."  And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.

 

- Mark 14:66–72 

 

Yesterday we read that they led Jesus away to the high priest after seizing Him in the garden of Gethsemane; and with him were assembled all the chief priests, the elders, and the scribes.  But Peter followed Him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest.  And he sat with the servants and warmed himself at the fire.  Now the chief priests and all the council sought testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  For many bore false witness against Him, but their testimonies did not agree.  Then some rose up and bore false witness against Him, saying, "We heard Him say, 'I will destroy this temple made with hands, and within three days I will build another made without hands.'"  But not even then did their testimony agree.  And the high priest stood up in the midst and asked Jesus, saying, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But He kept silent and answered nothing.  Again the high priest asked Him, saying to Him, "Are You the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?"  Jesus said, "I am.  And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, "What further need do we have of witnesses?  You have heard the blasphemy!  What do you think?"  And they all condemned Him to be deserving of death.  Then some began to spit on Him, and to blindfold Him, and to beat Him, and to say to Him, "Prophesy!"  And the officers struck Him with the palms of their hands.

 

  Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."   My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It says that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Mark 16:1-11).  

 

 And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.   St. Peter is so overcome with fear that neither Christ's prediction of his denial (Mark 14:27-31), nor the first crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance.  But only the second time the rooster crowed called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him.  And when he thought about it, he wept.  My study Bible quotes commentary from St. Ambrose of Milan, saying that nonetheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

 

 We all fail in our courage sometimes.  This is the man -- St. Peter -- whom tradition tells us requested to be crucified upside-down for fear of being considered equal with His Lord.  St. Peter also figures prominently in the Gospels as the one who so often speaks for the rest of the apostles, as he will also figure in the story of the early Church, after Christ's Ascension.  So, this same heroic, stalwart, strong, and courageous St. Peter is the man is today's story -- the one who cannot confess his faith in Christ in front of a servant girl.  To add insult to injury, as the expression goes, he's also the one who swore to Christ, after Jesus warned him that he would deny Him, "If I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (See this reading.)  Neither should we forget that it is the same St. Peter to whom Jesus issued the unforgettable rebuke, "Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men" (see Mark 8:30-33).  So the life of this exemplary disciple (as one who more often than not might be called "first among equals") is filled with ups and downs, humiliating mistakes and failures, grand triumphs, total exuberance, a great and undoubted love of Christ, terrible heartache and fear, and finally the triumph of a martyr.  This is St. Peter.  But perhaps the best thing that St. Peter gives us is his love that is so strong it overcomes his shame and he returns to Christ and the rest of the disciples.  You see, it really seems that this is the great -- perhaps the greatest -- gift that St. Peter gives to us, to all of us, the rest of the Church, and for all time.  Because St. Peter shows us that, like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), we can return to a loving Father, a loving Lord and Master, who does not lose His love for us because we make mistakes and err in our humanity, even multiple times.  It's to St. Peter that Jesus directed the admonition in the garden of Gethsemane, just before His betrayal and arrest, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (see again Friday's reading).  And to St. Peter that Jesus said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren" (Luke 22:31).  We note Jesus' confidence that St. Peter would return, and indeed this man so afraid of a servant girl in today's reading would be the one to strengthen his brethren.  As human beings, like St. Peter, even with his great faith, we may go through our own tumult, fear, lack of courage, and insensibility on a number of occasions and for many reasons.  But we need to remember that our story in the Gospels contains all these facts about St. Peter for good reasons, because in him we find ourselves and our direction for our faith:  we return to Christ.  We always must return to Christ.  For we are meant to overcome even ourselves, to grow and gain courage and confidence in our faith, to strengthen one another, to find our deeper faith, and to move forward.  For it is this deepening of faith that is the true universal mark of discipleship:  we seek to grow toward God.  It matters not at all where we are right now, how well our faith and our strength and our courage is serving is or how poorly.  But what matters is our ongoing deepening understanding and growth of our faith, for our destiny is in Him, and that journey is meant to be infinite.  Let us take courage and know that we are meant for this journey.  Like St. Peter, our failures and even shame may become springboards to greater love and truth, and deeper faith in our future.  For he lived knowing that this story would be told of him -- even that he stood outside reduced to cursing and swearing that He did not know the Man while Jesus was on trial; and he died choosing also to serve the Lord in humility even in death.