I do not know this Man of whom you speak!

 

 Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."  And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.

 

- Mark 14:66–72 

 

Yesterday we read that they led Jesus away to the high priest after seizing Him in the garden of Gethsemane; and with him were assembled all the chief priests, the elders, and the scribes.  But Peter followed Him at a distance, right into the courtyard of the high priest.  And he sat with the servants and warmed himself at the fire.  Now the chief priests and all the council sought testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  For many bore false witness against Him, but their testimonies did not agree.  Then some rose up and bore false witness against Him, saying, "We heard Him say, 'I will destroy this temple made with hands, and within three days I will build another made without hands.'"  But not even then did their testimony agree.  And the high priest stood up in the midst and asked Jesus, saying, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But He kept silent and answered nothing.  Again the high priest asked Him, saying to Him, "Are You the Christ, the Son of the Blessed?"  Jesus said, "I am.  And you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes and said, "What further need do we have of witnesses?  You have heard the blasphemy!  What do you think?"  And they all condemned Him to be deserving of death.  Then some began to spit on Him, and to blindfold Him, and to beat Him, and to say to Him, "Prophesy!"  And the officers struck Him with the palms of their hands.

 

  Now as Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came.  And when she saw Peter warming himself, she looked at him and said, "You also were with Jesus of Nazareth."  But he denied it, saying, "I neither know nor understand what you are saying."   My study Bible comments that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It says that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Mark 16:1-11).  

 

 And he went out on the porch, and a rooster crowed.  And the servant girl saw him again, and began to say to those who stood by, "This is one of them."  But he denied it again.  And a little later those who stood by said to Peter again, "Surely you are one of them; for you are a Galilean, and your speech shows it."  Then he began to curse and swear, "I do not know this Man of whom you speak!"  A second time the rooster crowed.  Then Peter called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him, "Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny Me three times."  And when he thought about it, he wept.   St. Peter is so overcome with fear that neither Christ's prediction of his denial (Mark 14:27-31), nor the first crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance.  But only the second time the rooster crowed called to mind the word that Jesus had said to him.  And when he thought about it, he wept.  My study Bible quotes commentary from St. Ambrose of Milan, saying that nonetheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

 

 We all fail in our courage sometimes.  This is the man -- St. Peter -- whom tradition tells us requested to be crucified upside-down for fear of being considered equal with His Lord.  St. Peter also figures prominently in the Gospels as the one who so often speaks for the rest of the apostles, as he will also figure in the story of the early Church, after Christ's Ascension.  So, this same heroic, stalwart, strong, and courageous St. Peter is the man is today's story -- the one who cannot confess his faith in Christ in front of a servant girl.  To add insult to injury, as the expression goes, he's also the one who swore to Christ, after Jesus warned him that he would deny Him, "If I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (See this reading.)  Neither should we forget that it is the same St. Peter to whom Jesus issued the unforgettable rebuke, "Get behind Me, Satan! For you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men" (see Mark 8:30-33).  So the life of this exemplary disciple (as one who more often than not might be called "first among equals") is filled with ups and downs, humiliating mistakes and failures, grand triumphs, total exuberance, a great and undoubted love of Christ, terrible heartache and fear, and finally the triumph of a martyr.  This is St. Peter.  But perhaps the best thing that St. Peter gives us is his love that is so strong it overcomes his shame and he returns to Christ and the rest of the disciples.  You see, it really seems that this is the great -- perhaps the greatest -- gift that St. Peter gives to us, to all of us, the rest of the Church, and for all time.  Because St. Peter shows us that, like the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), we can return to a loving Father, a loving Lord and Master, who does not lose His love for us because we make mistakes and err in our humanity, even multiple times.  It's to St. Peter that Jesus directed the admonition in the garden of Gethsemane, just before His betrayal and arrest, "Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak" (see again Friday's reading).  And to St. Peter that Jesus said, "Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren" (Luke 22:31).  We note Jesus' confidence that St. Peter would return, and indeed this man so afraid of a servant girl in today's reading would be the one to strengthen his brethren.  As human beings, like St. Peter, even with his great faith, we may go through our own tumult, fear, lack of courage, and insensibility on a number of occasions and for many reasons.  But we need to remember that our story in the Gospels contains all these facts about St. Peter for good reasons, because in him we find ourselves and our direction for our faith:  we return to Christ.  We always must return to Christ.  For we are meant to overcome even ourselves, to grow and gain courage and confidence in our faith, to strengthen one another, to find our deeper faith, and to move forward.  For it is this deepening of faith that is the true universal mark of discipleship:  we seek to grow toward God.  It matters not at all where we are right now, how well our faith and our strength and our courage is serving is or how poorly.  But what matters is our ongoing deepening understanding and growth of our faith, for our destiny is in Him, and that journey is meant to be infinite.  Let us take courage and know that we are meant for this journey.  Like St. Peter, our failures and even shame may become springboards to greater love and truth, and deeper faith in our future.  For he lived knowing that this story would be told of him -- even that he stood outside reduced to cursing and swearing that He did not know the Man while Jesus was on trial; and he died choosing also to serve the Lord in humility even in death.

 

 

 

 

But this is your hour, and the power of darkness

 

 Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."

 

Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.

 

- Luke 22:52–62 

 

On Saturday, we read that coming out from the temple in Jerusalem, Jesus went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him.  When He came to the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."  And He was withdrawn from them about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him.  And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly.  Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.  Then He said to them, "Why do you sleep?  Rise and pray, lest you enter into temptation." And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before  them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him.  But Jesus said to him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"  When those around Him saw what was going to happen, they said to Him, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?"  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear.  But Jesus answered and said, "Permit even this."  And He touched his ear and healed him.

 

  Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."   For our understanding of darkness in this context, my study Bible refers us to John 3:19-21; 13:30.  In these contexts, we observe that the power of darkness is that which resists the light, the true light that has come into the world, Jesus Christ, who is Light of Light (Nicene Creed).

 

 Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."   My study Bible comments on the fact that it is a girl who is the first to test Peter.  In patristic understanding, this is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve in Genesis 3:6.  Our fallen state, it notes, is overcome in Christ when women are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (see Luke 24:1-10).  

 

 And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.  My study Bible notes that Peter is so overcome with fear that neither Christ's prediction (Luke 22:34) nor the crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance.  Only the gaze of the Lord causes Peter to weep bitterly.  St. Ambrose of Milan is quoted, who says that, nonetheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud." 

 

What do we do when we have done something that seems unforgivable -- and most of all, unforgivable to ourselves?   Just prior to Christ's seizure by the authorities, He said to Peter, "Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail . . .."  But Peter responded to Him, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."  See Luke 22:31-34.  But here, even before a servant girl, the first to spot Peter as a follower of Christ, he wavers and caves to his fears, denying that he was a disciple.  A man then affirms that he was one of them, and Peter denies it again.  Finally, another affirms that it must be so, due to Peter's Galilean accent he recognizes, Jesus' disciples having followed Him from Galilee.  It's only the gaze of Christ that causes Peter to come to himself, and to realize what he has done.  He hasn't simply denied Christ, he has also betrayed himself in so doing.  We can only imagine what it is to confidently predict what steadfast people we are, how we will uphold our values or principles, we will always be loyal and never waver -- and then, just like that, we are tested and we fail even in our own eyes.  No wonder Peter went out and wept bitterly.  Not only has Peter failed himself and, more importantly, His Lord, Peter's overconfidence came in the face of Christ's prophecy to him.  When we look at this story this way, we see that Christ, of course, was not trying to bring Peter down or even to criticize him, but to forewarn him of the test and temptation to come, to solemnly warn him of his own weaknesses and his need to be conscious of them.  How many of us could confess to making similar mistakes in our lives, only to have to come to terms with how we have come up short?  Certainly this author can say so.  But for St. Peter, for myself, and one may dare say for all, Christ is the answer to our bitter failures and shortcomings.  For Jesus, as He indeed indicated, still wants St. Peter for his mission.  Even if we fail in our own eyes, and in the eyes of the world, our disappointment is only really tempered through Christ, who has a place for us, a plan, a way to go forward.  That means is through repentance, through turning back to Christ through all things, and accepting the reality He offers us.  That is, just as in this specific case we're given in the Gospels with St. Peter, we need to accept His judgment instead of our own -- even on ourselves as well.  Jesus also predicts to Peter, ". . . when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."  There is a very important lesson here about our faith, about confidence in ourselves, about our own judgment and estimation of our own potential weaknesses.  But most of all, it also tells us about temptation, for the devil who wanted to sift Peter as wheat apparently helped bring along the means of the failure of his faith, a way to trip him up in his weakness.  But with Christ, such stumbling blocks become opportunities for growth and for the strengthening of our faith, in that we become more aware of who we are, grow in helpful knowledge of our weaknesses, and may always turn and return to Him in repentance so that He shows us the way for us to the future and a better destiny and life.  St. Peter, of course, went on to have remarkable faith, going to his martyrdom for Christ, finally true to his word.  But before that he became a pillar of the Church, part of the foundation as the "rock" that Jesus named him, giving to us in turn a faith against which the gates of hades could not prevail (Matthew 16:18).  Yesterday, across the world and across many denominations, was the Feast of the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul.  Let us be truly grateful for the foundation they gave us, and follow in their footsteps as faithful to Christ.  For we all may be tested by the power of darkness, but with Christ it shall never prevail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If I tell you, you will by no means believe. And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go

 

 Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly. 

Now the men who held Jesus mocked Him and beat Him.  And having blindfolded Him, they struck Him on the face and asked Him, saying, "Prophesy!  Who is the one who struck You?"  And many other things they blasphemously spoke against Him.

As soon as it was day, the elders of the people, both chief priests and scribes, came together and led Him into their council, saying, "If You are the Christ, tell us."  But He said to them, "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go.  Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God."

 

- Luke 22:54–69 

 

Yesterday we read that, coming out from the place where He and the disciples had the Passover supper, also known as the Last Supper, Jesus went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him.  When He came to the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."  And He was withdrawn from them about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him.  And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly.  Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.  Then He said to them, "Why do you sleep?  Rise and pray, lest you enter into temptation."  And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him.  But Jesus said to him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"  When those around Him saw what was going to happen, they said to Him, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?"  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear.  But Jesus answered and said, "Permit even this."  And He touched his ear and healed him.  Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."   

 Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  My study bible remarks upon the fact that it was a girl who was the first to test Peter.  It notes that this is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  It says that our fallen state is overcome in Christ when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (24:1-10).  

And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.   My study bible tells us that Peter is so overcome with fear that neither Christ's prediction (verse 34) nor the crowing of the rooster calls him to repentance, but only the Lord's gaze causes him to weep bitterly.  Nevertheless, St. Ambrose of Milan comments, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

Now the men who held Jesus mocked Him and beat Him.  And having blindfolded Him, they struck Him on the face and asked Him, saying, "Prophesy!  Who is the one who struck You?"  And many other things they blasphemously spoke against Him.  When we witness the suffering of Christ, His abuse at the hands of the violent and unjust and cruel, we must think to ourselves that our Lord became human, so that He could heal all the scars of the rest of us who know what this is, both as victim and victimizer.  The outrage here is in some sense even greater when we know the holiness and true majesty of Christ, His total innocence, and moreover that so many know He is a holy Man.  This is a violation and abuse not only of a human being, but of grace itself.  By this suffering, Jesus takes it upon Himself to transfigure the suffering of the world and turn it on its head for all of us.

As soon as it was day, the elders of the people, both chief priests and scribes, came together and led Him into their council, saying, "If You are the Christ, tell us."  But He said to them, "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go.  Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God." My study bible comments that Jesus asked many questions of the Jewish leaders which they refused to answer, because doing so would have meant confessing Jesus was the Christ (Luke 20:4-7; Matthew 22:41-46; Mark 3:4).   With Jesus' final statement, His claim that He will sit on the right hand of the power of God, He declares Himself to be equal with God.  

In the verses that follow, which are not a part of today's lectionary reading, we see that Jesus' truth has condemned Him to the punishment the leaders will create for Him.  They ask, "Are You then the Son of God?"  And Jesus replies, "You rightly say that I am."  They then say to one another, "What further testimony do we need?  For we have heard it ourselves from His own mouth."  (See Luke 22:70-71.)  Although Jesus follows where the Father leads Him, and accepts to endure suffering and human death, He does not stop speaking the important truths which He is given to reveal to the world, as He is the light of the world (John 8:12).  We may confuse Jesus' seeming docility with passive acceptance, but as far as I can tell, that would be wrong.  Jesus accepts to endure the injustice and unrighteous behavior handed to Him, but it is with a particular purpose in mind, and a spiritual value which undercuts the evil in the world and that which is shown to Him.  In His truthful reply to His persecutors, even after beatings and cruelty, Jesus shows the true character of His mission.  Whatever injustice He endures, it is in service to the truth that will proclaim not simply the righteousness of God, but also the salvation of the world, and the judgment that is to come.  But what we see in Jesus is not the worldly way of correcting injustice, which so often uses violence which begets more violence and thereby more injustice and power abuses.  Jesus' way is God's way shown to us; it is the true way He overcomes the world and continues to do so (John 16:32-33).  This is something we need to turn to and to understand.  The power that is in Christ is not simply a worldly power, nor is it something that "fixes" what's wrong with the world through coercion or similar types of efforts of seizing power or changing regimes.  Christ's power, first of all, is in the truth that He tells, that He is, and that He brings into the world.  His power rests upon the spiritual reality of God that is behind, within, and radiating through all things.  This is the correction and salvation and healing that He brings to the world, and with which He meets the violent and destructive and powerful who are motivated by greed and other forms of selfishness.  And in this mission, we too may share.  How can we do that?  Prayer is first of all the great weapon of those who love God.  Prayer strengthens us and helps to purify our own motivations and thinking.  It helps us to become aware of ourselves and where we need to clean up our own act, so to speak.  Prayer connects us with God, and helps us to find that deeper truth in which we seek to rest.  It also connects us to grace which blesses us with the good things we read about in St. Paul's letter to the Galatians:  "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law" (Galatians 5:22-23).  These are all things which strengthen and help us.  They help us to keep our cool, so to speak, in all circumstances.  They help us to pull back and think, rather than simply to react to bad circumstances by making them somehow worse.  Christ's work in this world, and His mission to us, is to respond to the bad things in life through the righteousness of God, and through the light He brings into the world.  This is spiritual truth.  We need to understand that the evil we see and experience in the world has a spiritual counterpart behind it, and it is the roots of that injustice and unrighteousness we see in the world that Jesus is going for, and inviting us in to help Him in that struggle.  We might not be able to discern this on a grand scale, but if we experience this in our own lives, we can learn its effects through time.  The power of God's healing might be at work in us first, to overcome some abuse by the world.  But if we look closely, we might observe the fate of those who repeatedly turn against this truth, and their emptiness and hunger for something more, because of that deeper reality that underlies all things in this world.  It is in full cooperation with that deeper reality that Jesus acts, which is why it seemingly doesn't make sense from a purely worldly or material consideration.  Jesus plainly tells the disciples, "My kingdom is not of this world" (John 18:36).  And yet, "The kingdom of God is within you" (Luke 17:20-21).  And let us note, these words in Greek have a double meaning of "within you" and can also mean "among you" -- both are valid.  That living Kingdom that dwells both within us and among us is one in which we participate through the life of Christ.  The Eucharist and our worship services and the life of prayer in which we engage are all built as a living structure in which we participate and partake, and the life of grace can dwell in us and through us.  We are meant to carry God's light into the world by following His lead through all things.  What we see in the world, and the evils and unrighteous behavior we might experience ourselves can be our own opportunities for choice:  we may turn to God and follow as did Jesus, not relinquishing our truth -- or we may turn to the ways of the world.  We are meant to be in this world but not "of" it.  That means that our prayer may lead us to participate fully in the society, but in particular ways that keep our faith alive and well and growing within us, producing the spiritual fruits of grace, and making a contribution to the world in the process and to the future we build for ourselves and those whom we love.  Jesus transfigures the world through this process, and this is the whole purpose of the Incarnation.  We, also, may help and grow in that transfiguration by seeking to do the same in response to evil and unrighteousness in the world.  This is how we each take up our cross and play our part.  This Christmas, we may simply look around at all the children who need faith so badly, and the love that goes with it, and the peace and goodness, and see what a worthy project that is.  Let us follow Him and look to that light and His truth to share with the world.  Jesus says to those who seek only His conviction:  "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go.  Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God."  Even where we have no hope of changing someone's mind, we are still called to that truth and His way and that life He offers to the world.

Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed

El Greco (Domenikos Theotokopoulos), Saint Peter in Tears, 1587-1596.  El Greco Museum, Toledo, Spain

 And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.  Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.

* * *

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.

- John 18:15-18, 25-27

On Saturday we read that a certain man was sick, Lazarus of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.  It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair, whose brother Lazarus was sick.  Therefore the sisters sent to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick."  When Jesus heard that, He said, "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it."  Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.  So, when He heard that he was sick, He stayed two more days in the place where He was.  Then after this He said to the disciples, "Let us go to Judea again."  The disciples said to Him, "Rabbi, lately the Jews sought to stone You, and are You going there again?"  Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day?  If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of the world.  But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him."  These things He said, and after that He said to them, "Our friend Lazarus sleeps, but I go that I may wake him up."  Then His disciples said, "Lord, if he sleeps he will get well."  However, Jesus spoke of his death, but they thought that He was speaking about taking rest in sleep.  Then Jesus said to them plainly, "Lazarus is dead.  And I am glad for your sakes that I was not there, that you may believe.  Nevertheless let us go to him."  Then Thomas, who is called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, "Let us also go, that we may die with Him."

  And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.   Today's lectionary reading skips us forward from John chapter 11 to chapter 18.  Jesus has been arrested and taken to the home of the high priest.  My study bible says that the other disciple is John, the author of this Gospel.  It notes that it was a common practice for an author to conceal his name in the details of his story (see 13:23; compare Mark 14:51-52; Luke 24:13, 18).

Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this Man's disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.   My study bible explains that a girl being the first to test Peter is viewed as an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  This fallen state, it says, is overcome in Christ, when it is a woman who is the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (20:1, 11-18).

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.   After his three denials of Christ, Peter will be restored via his three affirmations of love which follow the Resurrection (21:15-17).

As we enter into the Lenten season, the lectionary skips forward to Peter's denial of Jesus.  Later in this week we will read about Jesus' trial, the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee, and Christ's words to His disciples at the Last Supper.  This year the cycle of Lent falls at roughly the same time across all the Churches, East and West.  This week the Western Churches begin Lent on Wednesday (called Ash Wednesday).  The Eastern Orthodox observe this week a preparatory fast where dairy is allowed, and next week begin a strict fast for Lent.  For the Oriental Orthodox, Lent begins today.  Interestingly, while Ash Wednesday's Daily Office reading is the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee, in Eastern Orthodoxy this parable always falls on a Sunday that begins a three-week preparation period for Lent (called Triodion).  At any rate, across the world, Christians begin the Lenten season at this time, and our readings for today reflect this.  Both the parable of the Publican and the Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14) and today's reading, in which Peter denies Christ three times, give us an orientation toward the Lenten period that is essential to our faith.  Lent is a time of reflection, in which self-knowledge becomes a key to what is desired of us and what we must seek as those who stand before God in truth.  In today's reading, we have the outcome of Peter's avowed declaration that he would lay down his life for Christ's sake; at that time, Jesus predicted that Peter would betray Him three times before the rooster crowed.  See 13:36-38 for John's version of these events, which occurred at the Last Supper.  There is no doubt of Peter's sincerity when he declared he would die for Christ's sake, and yet Christ knew him better than he knew himself.  It is our Lord who knows us thoroughly, both our capabilities or capacities for faith, and our weaknesses.  Clearly, the Gospels teach us that none of us is perfect, through the experience and the growth of the disciples.  But it also teaches us about the necessity that we understand our imperfection, and also our capacity for redemption, for change and growth, and especially for repentance (literally in the Greek "change of mind").  And that's where Peter's denial of Christ comes in:  it is the witness to how little we really and truly know ourselves and the false and misleading notion of "willpower" in times of great temptation and stress.  But it is also an affirmation of the love of God, even in our weaknesses.  Lent is a traditional time for the practices which shore up faith and give us a sense that we are capable of self-mastery, of overcoming temptation and entering into a discipline of strength -- not of willpower, but of faith.  Historically, monastics were called "athletes" and the word "asceticism" comes from the Greek word for exercise.  We are in training for something.  It is not for nothing that St. Paul tells us to "fight the good fight of faith" (1 Timothy 6:12).  Fasting is one of those athletic exercises that puts us into training for something, for the ability to remember God and give something of ourselves in the strength of faith.  Together with the practice of prayer it is the most powerful weapon of faith, as prescribed by Jesus after the healing of a demoniac (Mark 9:29), and also by example in His forty day period before He began His public ministry (Matthew 4:2).   This is our model for Lent, a time of prayer and introspection, when we set things aside (as in fasting) in order to prioritize God and our faith.  Such a time of depth of prayer is a time to come to know ourselves.  In facing God, we also face our own weaknesses, we focus on where we ourselves need to shore up our strengths, and to make changes.  We seek that direction from God that dictates our lives and to which we seek to be obedient.  Above all, it is -- somewhat paradoxically -- a time to escape selfishness.  Paradoxically, because it invites us to focus on prayer, to practice a time of solitude in order to do so, to cultivate a capacity for inner stillness and focus.  But the whole purpose is a deeper communion with God, who is our strength.  And there we come back to Peter and his avowed assertion that he would die for Christ.  Here, humiliatingly, it is before a girl that he lapses into denial, and it throws his whole character and his notions of himself into vivid relief.  In the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke we're told that Peter wept afterward (Matthew 26:75, Mark 14:72, Luke 22:62).  Lent is the time when we are taught to focus on our own communion with God, the strength and shape of our faith, so to speak.  It is a time to make more time for that communion, for prayer, for making space for God's work in us, including personal change that might be asked of us, and recognition of our own weaknesses.  If the Church is a hospital, as it is so often depicted throughout the centuries of tradition behind it, then Lent is a time for medicine, healing, retreat, rest in God, and the prayer that relieves what ails us.   Let us enter in and consider this most essential part of our lives, upon which all else rests.  El Greco's portrait of St. Peter in tears captures the moment after realization of Peter's failure.  Let us note that Peter, great disciple that he is, looks toward God in prayer.  On his wrist, reminding us of his confession of faith on behalf of all, are the keys to the kingdom (Matthew 16:15-19).  Let us remember how much rests on the strength of our faith, and where that strength comes from in the first place, as Peter's humble and illumined eyes - in deep recognition of truth -  turn toward God in prayer.  This is the place for healing.  Peter sets an example for all of us.

If I tell you, you will by no means believe. And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go

 Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.

Now the men who held Jesus mocked Him and beat Him.  And having blindfolded Him, they struck Him on the face and asked Him, saying, "Prophesy!  Who is the one who struck You?"  And many other things they blasphemously spoke against Him.

As soon as it was day, the elders of the people, both chief priests and scribes, came together and led Him into their council, saying, "If You are the Christ, tell us."  But He said to them, "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go.  Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God."

- Luke 22:54-69

Yesterday we read that, coming out from the Passover supper, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him.  When He came to the place, He said to them, "Pray that you may not enter into temptation."  And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's throw, and he knelt down and prayed, saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him.  And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly.  Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.  When He rose up from prayer, and had come to His disciples, He found them sleeping from sorrow.  Then he said to them, "Why do you sleep?  Rise and pray, lest you enter into temptation."  And while He was still speaking, behold, a multitude; and he who was called Judas, one of the twelve, went before them and drew near to Jesus to kiss Him.  But Jesus said to him, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"  When those around Him saw what was going to happen, they said to Him, "Lord, shall we strike with the sword?"  And one of them struck the servant of the high priest and cut off his right ear.  But Jesus answered and said, "Permit even this."  And He touched his ear and healed him.  Then Jesus said to the chief priests, captains of the temple, and the elders who had come to Him, "Have you come out, as against a robber, with swords and clubs?  When I was with you daily in the temple, you did not try to seize Me.  But this is your hour, and the power of darkness."

Having arrested Him, they led Him and brought Him into the high priest's house.  But Peter followed at a distance.  Now when they had kindled a fire in the midst of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat among them.  And a certain servant girl, seeing him as he sat by the fire, looked intently at him and said, "This man was also with Him."  But he denied Him, saying, "Woman, I do not know Him."  My study bible explains the paradox and poetry of the Scriptures, at work even at this low point in the story of Christ and the Church.  A girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  My study bible says that this, as symbol of our fallen state, is overcome when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (24:1-10).

And after a little while another saw him and said, "You also are of them."  But Peter said, "Man, I am not!"  Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean."  But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!"  Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed.  And the Lord turned and looked at Peter.  Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So Peter went out and wept bitterly.  Peter's fear is so overwhelming that neither Christ's prediction (verse 34) nor the crowing of the rooster signals a call to repentance, but only Christ's gaze causes him to weep bitterly, according to my study bible.  St. Ambrose of Milan is quoted, who writes that nevertheless, "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

Now the men who held Jesus mocked Him and beat Him.  And having blindfolded Him, they struck Him on the face and asked Him, saying, "Prophesy!  Who is the one who struck You?"  And many other things they blasphemously spoke against Him.  We see the contempt with which our Lord was treated.  We should understand His condescension to be one of us, to be with us, so that He may bring us all into His Kingdom.  Even as divine Lord, Christ experiences the demeaning and degrading experiences that we may suffer.  Added to these facts, this is also a picture of blasphemy.  But we should consider that these same men -- and the centurion in charge of them -- may also come to repentance and be included in His flock (Matthew 27:54, Mark 15:39, Luke 23:47).

As soon as it was day, the elders of the people, both chief priests and scribes, came together and led Him into their council, saying, "If You are the Christ, tell us."  But He said to them, "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go.  Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God."   Particularly during the time that Jesus was teaching daily in the temple (earlier during the Passover festival), Jesus asked many questions of the Jewish leaders which they refused to answer, because doing so would have meant confessing Him as the Christ (20:4-7; Matthew 22:41-46; Mark 3:4).  At this time, it is as if Jesus is declaring judgement; the time for His effort at dialogue with them is over, as they will refuse to respond either way.  Their minds are made up and hearts are hardened against Him.  His final statement is a declaration that He is equal with God.

In today's reading, we're witness to the power of darkness which Jesus spoke about in yesterday's reading (above).   Jesus is mocked and violently abused by the soldiers.  Moreover, when it comes time for Him to be questioned, He straightforwardly acknowledges His inability to get a fair hearing:  "If I tell you, you will by no means believe.  And if I also ask you, you will by no means answer Me or let Me go."  In the midst of what He knows to be certain conviction, and to those who will sit in judgment against Him who have already decided their verdict in advance, Jesus tells the truth.  It's like a conviction He teaches to each of us that no matter how hard things look, we need to face facts.  Jesus will not waste His time attempting to coerce these men to change their minds.  But He does present one more extraordinary fact to them:  He declares His divinity and equality to God.  He tells them, "Hereafter the Son of Man will sit on the right hand of the power of God."   Ironically enough, and of course just as Christ knows full well, this is the "evidence" they need to convict Him of blasphemy.  But in this case, Jesus is telling the truth; He is declaring the extraordinary fact they don't want to hear and don't want to know -- but it is nevertheless a statement which they can and will use to convict Him of the crime of blasphemy, for which they will attempt to have Him put to death by the Roman state.  What is important to know here is that Jesus stands in His truth.  While it appears from all human perspective that this is Christ in some sense "giving in" to these people, giving them what they want in order to convict Him, the tables are turned.  It is He who judges, and His word that judges.  When Christ stands in this truth, it is those who censor Him for it who convict themselves.  Let us keep in mind Christ's abandonment even by one of His closest apostles, the one who speaks for the rest of them, Peter.  The human Jesus is entirely alone.  And yet, He testifies to His truth.  He at once accepts the facts of the matter that are stacked all the way against Him, and He still tells His truth.  We know who Christ is, and the power that He wields as judge and arbiter and the one who gives us the word of truth.  But He also stands in for us, when we may find ourselves in such an unjust position.  We may be abandoned and alone, and surrounded only by those vicious enough to convict us for their own personal reasons.  We find ourselves with those who are not willing to give us a fair hearing.  But, with God, and in a prayerful acceptance of the realities with which we are surrounded, even in the worst of circumstances, we stand in our own truth with only One who judges; that is, Christ.   In an existential sense, this is where we are all the time -- and all the rest of the things we may or may not take for granted make no real substantial difference to us when it comes down to who we are face-to-face with Christ.  That is to say, in this place of terrible abandonment, Christ is neither alone nor without His truth.  He has come to this place simply for us, and so that we know when we may stand in this same place He is with us, and that it is His judgment alone that really counts.  When we are tried in the most difficult and desperate of circumstances, we find Him and the Holy Spirit, and with them God the Father; we take up His courage and His truth, we follow His ways, knowing He was there before us and is yet there with us.  Jesus alone tells us His truth.  The real question is how we can stand in that same place and find our truths with Him.  As we go toward the days we celebrate His birth, let us come to terms about just what it is that determines our truths and our worth, and remember that when all might be against us, it is only His judgment that counts.

Simon, Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren

 And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon!  Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."  But he said to Him, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."  Then He said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me."

And He said to them, "When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, did you lack anything?"  So they said, "Nothing."  Then He said to them, "But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.  For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me:  'And He was numbered with the transgressors.'  For the things concerning Me have an end."  So they said, "Lord, look, here are two swords."  And He said to them, "It is enough."

- Luke 22:31-38

Yesterday we read that when the hour had come for the Passover supper in the upper room, Jesus sat down, and the twelve apostles with Him.  Then He said to them, "With fervent desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I say to you, I will no longer eat of it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God."  Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, "Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes."  And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me."  Likewise He also took the cup after supper, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you.  But behold, the hand of My betrayer is with Me on the table.  And truly the Son of Man goes as it has been determined, but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed!"  Then they began to question among themselves, which of them it was who would do this this thing.  Now there was also a dispute among them, as to which of them should be considered the greatest.  And He said to them, "The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called 'benefactors.'  But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves.  For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves?  Is it not he who sits at the table?  Yet I am among you as the One who serves.  But you are those who have continued with Me in My trials.  And I bestow upon you a kingdom, just as My Father bestowed one upon Me, that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel."

And the Lord said, "Simon, Simon!  Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat.  But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren."  But he said to Him, "Lord, I am ready to go with You, both to prison and to death."  Then He said, "I tell you, Peter, the rooster shall not crow this day before you will deny three times that you know Me."  Jesus addresses Simon Peter in the beginning of this statement.  But when He says Satan has asked for you, that "you" is plural, indicating all the disciples.  Jesus' statement to Peter, I have prayed for you, however, is singular, meaning that Jesus has prayed particularly for Simon Peter.  My study bible notes that because Peter's faith was the strongest, he would be tested the most.  Strengthen your brethren echoes Christ's words to Peter in John's Gospel, after the time referred to here in the prophecy of Peter's denial of Christ three times (see John 21:15-17).  Jesus will tell Peter, "Feed My lambs."  It is a reference not simply to the other disciples, but for all the faithful until Christ returns.

And He said to them, "When I sent you without money bag, knapsack, and sandals, did you lack anything?"  So they said, "Nothing."  Then He said to them, "But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.  For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me:  'And He was numbered with the transgressors.'  For the things concerning Me have an end."  So they said, "Lord, look, here are two swords."  And He said to them, "It is enough."  Jesus' ominous words summon up the new time of persecution, beginning with the treatment of their Leader (see John 15:20-21).  He quotes from Isaiah 53:12, referring to the Suffering Servant of God.  My study bible comments that the sword is not to be understood literally (compare to verses 49-51), but refers to the living word of God in the battle against sin (Ephesians 6:17; Hebrews 4:12).  St. Ambrose also is cited here, who adds an additional meaning.  He comments that to give up one's garment and buy a sword refers to surrendering the body to the sword of martyrdom.  As the disciples are thinking of swords literally, Jesus immediately ends the discussion with the words, "It is enough," which is better translated, "Enough of this!" (see Deuteronomy 3:26; Mark 14:41). 

What are the effects of betrayal?  Somehow, like the act of temptation and betrayal of God's loving word in the Garden (Genesis 3), it opens up a kind of Pandora's box, unleashing all sorts of unwarranted and unforeseen evils and subsequent betrayals that accompany it.  One act opens up all the possibilities of the others, exposes vulnerabilities and other temptations, weaknesses, betrayals, and potential for harm.  The injustice in one circumstance opens up all the possibilities of the others.  One may think that is a bit simplistic, or overblown.  But if we take a good look at how life and circumstances unfold in our world, we may find that we can't underestimate the possible effects of a single act.  One considers abuse in childhood and what that can inflict, and conditions it may create for further harm to others in the future.  At the very least, such actions create obstacles for the child to overcome, lasting full well throughout adulthood.  It's no secret that the temptations such abuse opens up for the victim in his or her future life range from the self-destructive to that which causes grave harm to others.  Every new hurt opens up scars from the past and the accompanying need for understanding choice, self-control, and seeking the grace of God for all things.  That is one simple example, but we can consider Judas' act of betrayal and what it opens up for all of the apostles.  Our Lord is the Suffering Servant, the One who is sacrificed for all of us.  He endures more than physical suffering, pain, and death, but undergoes also the betrayal of all of those whom He loves, the people for whom He's been sent.  He will be spat upon and "numbered with the transgressors," treated to a horrific death by crucifixion like the worst criminals of the Roman Empire.  All of this forms a scandal, a stumbling block, that asks those of us whose faith is caught up in this story of our suffering Messiah to choose for Him, for His way through this world in which there are so many temptations for betrayal.  It is Christ to whom we turn for the way through it all, and the saints -- particularly His mother, Mary the God-bearer -- to whom we turn in the pain we, too, may experience through betrayal of one sort or another.  Let us consider what that word betrayal implies.  It's more than a specific act of one friend with another.  Rather, it applies to all conditions and circumstances in which trust is broken, and the love of God and God's teachings that may be involved in that trust.  A child trusts a parent to care for them, a spouse depends upon a marriage partner, a friend to a friend, and the faithful look to their Church and its members for faithful adherence to the love of God and God's teachings about how to live that love.  Betrayal will continue to come to us in all kinds of ways, and so does temptation.  Our job is not to exterminate temptations and betrayals from the world, for this task is impossible.  Rather, Christ shows us the way:  our task is faith and fidelity.  We look to our own loyalty and love of Christ, to the things He teaches us, to carry our own crosses as He's taught, and to do so with the one greatest weapon we have:  humility.  In this is the world saved, and not in endless efforts to eradicate all potentials for evil -- for by our own example and acts of love and faith we create potential for the good to spring up out of it, possibilities of the fruits of the Spirit with which we build up God's people and life in this world in potentials for good that supersede all those for evil.  In fact, the Cross itself teaches just that:  that the good may transfigure acts of harm and evil in this world, producing Resurrection and eternal life and all of life's possibilities even from the most heinous and monstrous of evil acts.  Let us consider, then, the power of the Cross and what it teaches us:  that life must spring forth through faith even out of evil circumstances we're given, and continue in that faith.  Christ and His saints know our suffering, for they've all been there before us.  Let us find their way to contribute to the love of the world.

Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly

 Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.

- Matthew 26:69-75

Yesterday we read that those who had seized Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane led Him away to Caiaphas the high priest, where the scribes and the elders were assembled.  But Peter followed Him at a distance to the high priest's courtyard.  And he went in and sat with the servants to see the end.  Now the chief priests, the elders, and all the council sought false testimony against Jesus to put Him to death, but found none.  Even though many false witnesses came forward, they found none.  But at last two false witnesses came forward and said, "This fellow said, 'I am able to destroy the temple of God and to build it in three days.'"  And the high priest arose and said to Him, "Do You answer nothing?  What is it these men testify against You?"  But Jesus kept silent.  And the high priest answered and said to Him, "I put You under oath by the living God:  Tell us if You are the Christ, the Son of God!"  Jesus said to him, "It is as you said.  Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Power, and coming on the clouds of heaven."  Then the high priest tore his clothes, saying, "He has spoken blasphemy!  What further need do we have of witnesses?  Look, now you have heard His blasphemy!  What do you think?"  They answered and said, "He is deserving of death."  Then they spat in His face and beat Him; and others struck Him with the palms of their hands, saying, "Prophesy to us, Christ!  Who is the one who struck You?" 

  Now Peter sat outside in the courtyard.  And a servant girl came to him, saying, "You also were with Jesus of Galilee."  But he denied it before them all, saying, "I do not know what you are saying."  And when he had gone out to the gateway, another girl saw him and said to those who were there, "This fellow also was with Jesus of Nazareth."  But again he denied with an oath, "I do not know the Man!"  My study bible comments that there is an echo or an icon here of Adam's temptation by Eve (Genesis 3:6), as a girl is the first to test Peter in this scene.  This fallen state is overcome when it is women who are the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection (Luke 24:1-10).

And a little later those who stood by came up and said to Peter, "Surely you also are one of them, for your speech betrays you."  Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!"  Immediately a rooster crowed.  And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times."  So he went out and wept bitterly.  Peter's speech betrays him as he speaks with the accent of a Galilean, like Christ.  In this reading, Jesus prophesied Peter's denial of Him this night, in the midst of Peter's vehement denials.  When the rooster crowed, Peter came to himself, and went out and wept bitterly.  My study bible quotes St. Ambrose of Milan, who wrote that "through tears, what cannot be defended can be purged, for tears wash away the offense which is shameful to confess out loud."

The rooster's crow is truly a "wake up call" for Peter.  It is a time when he comes to himself, understands himself, wakes up to himself -- and realizes Christ's prophesy as correct.  Tears are signs of truth, one that is faced and transformed through recognition, grappled with.  Peter's not only realizing that what Christ said about his own weakness was correct, but that Peter's grand understanding of his capacity for heroism was wrong.  He capitulates in front of a servant girl.  We can hardly blame Peter entirely for the terror of this night.  He is the one who drew the sword to defend Christ in the garden (identified in John 18:10), whereby Jesus told him, "Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword," and assuring him that if He desired, the Father would defend Him with legions of angels.   It seems that Peter simply cannot grasp what is happening.  He is, after all, the one who insisted that Christ will not die, to which Christ responded, "Get behind Me, Satan!" (16:22-23).  Through this experience, Peter must come to terms with several different things, and it's illustrative of our own transformative processes that may take place within our faith.  First, there is his own weakness, despite his declaration to Jesus that "even if all are made to stumble because of You, I will never be made to stumble."  And, after Jesus' prophesy that Peter would deny Him three times before the rooster crows, Peter said,  "Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!" (see this reading).   He has a faith in himself that comes from not knowing his own human weakness.  Secondly, he doubts even the prophecy of Christ regarding his own vulnerability.  Finally, there are the bitter tears of recognition and truth -- and the repentance that comes with them.  It's very important that we take all of these things in the context of our own journeys of faith, and the process of salvation.  We're not simply fully healed in a flash, we don't come to the fullness of union and salvation automatically, and there is really no bypassing all the steps in this process of coming to reconcile ourselves not only with Christ and His vision for us, but the recognition of our own weaknesses and things that need changing along the way.  Peter trusted in himself that he surely would never let Christ down, and when it comes time for his own death, so it will be a sacrificial, humble, and heroic one.  But in this circumstance in today's reading, there is so much more that he must learn, and endure, and grow through along the way to becoming the powerful leader among the apostles that he will become.  Thus, Peter remains such an important example of those among whom we choose to grow in our own faith, whose own experience must inform us about the powerful healing journey of faith.  There are sometimes heartbreaking truths we must accept, sometimes things we won't be able to control and things that will go the opposite way of what we think it perfect and right.  Humility can be an exceptionally tough lesson to learn.  But through it all, we have our own tears of recognition and reconciliation and acceptance -- and our own way to grow through such experiences and the fullness of who we are and can become in Christ's love.  We will all make mistakes along the way.  Let us be truly thankful that the love of God sees us through all of our own stumbling, blindness, shortcomings, through the gift of faith.

You are not also one of this disciples, are you?

 And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.  Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.

* * * 

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not one also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.

- John 18:15-18, 25-27

On Saturday, we read Jesus' concluding discourse to the Pharisees at the Feast of Tabernacles, during the final year of His life:   "He who is of God hears God's words; therefore you do not hear, because you are not of God."  Then the Jews answered and said to Him, "Do we not say rightly that You are a Samaritan and have a demon?"  Jesus answered, "I do not have a demon; but I honor My Father, and you dishonor Me.  And I do not seek My own glory; there is One who seeks and judges.  Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death."  Then the Jews said to Him, "Now we know that You have a demon!  Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and You say, 'If anyone keeps My word he shall never taste death.'  Are You greater than our father Abraham, who is dead?  And the prophets are dead.  Who do You make Yourself out to be?"  Jesus answered, "If I honor Myself, My honor is nothing.  It is My Father who honors Me, of whom you say that He is your God.  Yet you have not known Him, but I know Him.  And if I say, 'I do not know Him,' I shall be a liar like you; but I do know Him and keep His word.  Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad."  Then the Jews said to Him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?"  Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM."  Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.

 And Simon Peter followed Jesus, and so did another disciple.  Now that disciple was known to the high priest, and went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest.  But Peter stood at the door outside.  Then the other disciple, who was known to the high priest, went out and spoke to her who kept the door, and brought Peter in.   As we are preparing for Lent, the lectionary skips over several chapters in John to today's reading, in which Jesus is being held at the home of the high priest.  The other disciple is John himself, author of the Gospel.  It was a common practice of the time for an author to conceal his name in the details of the story (see 13:23; compare Mark 14:51-52, Luke 24:13, 18).

Then the servant girl who kept the door said to Peter, "You are not also one of this disciples, are you?"  He said, "I am not."  Now the servants and officers who had made a fire of coals stood there, for it was cold, and they warmed themselves.  And Peter stood with them and warmed himself.   My study bible tells us that a girl being the first to test Peter is an icon of the temptation of Adam by Eve (Genesis 3:6).  This fallen state, it says, is overcome in Christ -- when it is a woman who is the first to hear, believe, and proclaim the Resurrection, as John tells us (20:1, 11-18).

Now Simon Peter stood and warmed himself.  Therefore they said to him, "You are not one also one of His disciples, are you?"  He denied it and said, "I am not!"  One of the servants of the high priest, a relative of him whose ear Peter cut off, said, "Did I not see you in the garden with Him?"  Peter then denied again; and immediately a rooster crowed.   The earlier part of chapter 18 gives us the story of Jesus' arrest; in verse 10 we're told that Peter drew a sword and struck the high priest's servant, cutting off his right ear.   In chapter 13, Jesus prophesied to Peter that he would deny Him three times before the rooster crowed -- after Peter's protestations that he would lay down his life for Christ's sake (see 13:37-38).  After his three denials, Peter will be restored through his three affirmations of love that follow the Resurrection (21:15-17). 

Today's reading begins a preparation for Lent.  In the Western Churches, Lent begins on Wednesday, which is Ash Wednesday.  For many of the Eastern Churches, Lent begins next week, with this week being a week for fasting from meat.  (For the Armenian Apostolic Church, a branch of the Oriental Orthodox, Lent begins today.)  The lectionary gives us the story of Peter's denial of Jesus.  That it was a servant girl in front of whom Peter first denied Jesus gives us the sense of the humiliation in failure, in the times when we let ourselves down.  Peter not only claimed to Jesus that he would not betray Him, he told Jesus that he would lay down his life for Christ.   But the denial by Peter gives us a flavor of Christ's ministry.  Even in this darkest hour, which Jesus predicts will happen, everything is not lost for Peter.  He will return to Christ, he will be restored among the Apostles, and after the Resurrection, be taught specifically by Christ what He wants from Peter (21:15-17).  If we look at that passage, we see that Peter's restoration is all about love, to which we repeatedly return in John's Gospel.  Jesus asks him three times, in correspondence to the three-time denial, "Do you love Me?"  Each time Peter answers "Yes," and each time Jesus returns with a demand in response:  "Feed My lambs."   If we love Christ, we will do as He asks us as an expression of that love.   In a recent reading, Jesus has taught, "If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed."  At the Last Supper, at the institution of the Eucharist, He taught them, "Abide in Me" (15:4-5).   Our communion with Christ is what keeps us in the place where we belong, where we need to be.  It is when that communion is broken that we find ourselves let down and disappointed, because we are not really in the place we need to be and finding the good things that are prepared for us to belong to, to be doing in His love.   Peter's denial of Christ gives us all the gift of understanding that to be a disciple isn't necessarily to be always perfect, but rather to love.  Discipleship is really a constant renewing and returning to that love, abiding in it, living it.  It is in finding our true love of Christ that we find where we belong and even "who" we need to be.  We find the identity He prepares for us.  In contrast to Judas, Peter returns to Christ, and to the flock.  Whatever we seem to lose in life, even -- however temporarily -- our own self-respect, we may find again in Him.  Peter's life will change altogether after the Resurrection, but this is what the Cross gives to each of us.  We lose life only to gain it.  We let go of the past -- even our ideas of ourselves, and perhaps more characteristically, those with whom we think we must be associated.  But in Him, we gain a life in His love.  As we enter into Lent, let us delve into the deeper meaning of the Cross for each one of us, what we give up and what we find.

Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward

"Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer.  You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, 'Where I am going, you cannot come,' so now I say to you.  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Simon Peter said to Him, "Lord, where are You going?"  Jesus answered him, "Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward."  Peter said to Him, "Lord, why can I not follow You now?  I will lay down my life for Your sake."  Jesus answered him, "Will you lay down your life for My sake?  Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times."

- John 13:36-38

On Tuesday, we read that Jesus said,  "Now My soul is troubled, and what shall I say?  'Father, save Me from this hour'?  But for this purpose I came to this hour.  Father, glorify Your name."  Then a voice came from heaven, saying, "I have both glorified it and will glorify it again."  Therefore the people who stood by and heard it said that it had thundered.  Others said, "An angel has spoken to Him."  Jesus answered and said, "This voice did not come because of Me, but for your sake.  Now is the judgment of this world; now the ruler of this world will be cast out.  And I, if I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all peoples to Myself."  This He said signifying by what death He would die.  The people answered Him, "We have heard from the law that the Christ remains forever; and how can You say, 'The Son of Man must be lifted up'?  Who is this Son of Man?"  Then Jesus said to them, "A little while longer the light is with you.  Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you; he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going.  While you have the light, believe in the light, that you may become sons of light."  These things Jesus spoke, and departed, and was hidden from them.

 "Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer.  You will seek Me; and as I said to the Jews, 'Where I am going, you cannot come,' so now I say to you.  A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."   As it is Holy Week (in the Western Churches and the Armenian Apostolic Church; Eastern Orthodox and Coptic Orthodox celebrate Easter 2015 on April 12th), the lectionary varies in the passages we read.  As I enjoy blogging the Gospels in the same order as the verses appear in the text, I have chosen the reading that fits between chapter 12 (Tuesday) and chapter 14 which will will begin this Monday.  It is just two verses (John 13:36-38), but I have added these verses before them to include an essential teaching of Christ.  My study bible makes the point that many religions and philosophies teach people to love one another.  But what makes this particular commandment new, it says, is the measure required of our love:  we must love as Christ has loved us, laying down His life not only for His friends, but even for His enemies.  It is a significant sign of this mission that a great part of it is just that, to teach us what love is, does, looks like.   God manifest in human form can do that as no other teaching form can do.  Ultimately, with Christ, everything goes back to the Father and the relationship He has with the Father; from this we learn, too, what love is, means, looks like -- and that we participate in this source of love ourselves.

Simon Peter said to Him, "Lord, where are You going?"  Jesus answered him, "Where I am going you cannot follow Me now, but you shall follow Me afterward."  Peter said to Him, "Lord, why can I not follow You now?  I will lay down my life for Your sake."  Jesus answered him, "Will you lay down your life for My sake?  Most assuredly, I say to you, the rooster shall not crow till you have denied Me three times."   My study bible tells us that Jesus gives a prophecy here of the martyrdom of Simon Peter, which he wold suffer for the sake of Christ by being crucified upside down in Rome in about AD 67 ("you shall follow Me afterward").  

In today's reading we're given not only Jesus' prophecy of the future death of Peter as martyr, but also, of course, the prophesy of Peter's denials which will follow more immediately.  We know our human weakness.  It's as if today's reading is juxtaposing for us the great standard of Christ, as well as our very human tendencies.  And really, maybe that is in some sense what Holy Week is all about.  It invites us to think about the standards (of love, for example, in loving one another as He has loved us) set for us.  Christ knows the eventual work of Peter as a great apostle and leader of apostles, a pillar of the Church.  He knows Peter's eventual martyrdom for the love of Christ and for His sheep.  And yet, He knows Peter as the one who will deny Him three times that very night, despite Peter's plea to follow and lay down his life for Christ's sake.  Part of loving us means that Christ knows our natures and our weaknesses, but He sees things we can't necessarily see -- or, if we do, we see by God's grace:  who are the sheep who also hold His kind of love (John 10:14).  As we've observed most particularly through the chapters we've read in John's Gospel, Jesus always goes back to the Father.  If you want to understand anything, you must go to the First Source, the Father.  Christ showing, living, and being love in the world is a reflection of the Father to us; where He is, there the Father is also.  Everything is teaching in this mission.  But maybe most importantly, we are to love one another as Christ has loved us, and we have to think about what that really means.  Has He ceased to tell about the Father and the love for the Father that is not only in Himself but must also be in us?  This is one key to understanding what Christ's love is all about, that it's not a philosophy and it's not a theory.  It's about relationship between persons/Persons.  Ultimately, love is a personal reality, because it is a living part of what it means to be a person, to have personhood.  Love is the expression of ourselves as persons, just as it is given for us to know from a Person.  Our faith is not in mere intellectual concepts, it's not only in philosophies, although all things that convey truth are a part of that faith.  In this Monday's reading, we will read Jesus' statement that He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6).  Thereby for us as followers of Christ, truth takes on many powerful meanings and great significance.  It's not only that we need and respect truth in all things, but that we understand that our faith is in the Person who is Truth, and perhaps the deepest part of that truth is the love that He teaches in this great commandment He adds and leaves with all of His disciples.  He teaches us truth that sets us free, that which liberates us from a slavery of sin.  He teaches us to reach for that standard of love which belongs to us, too, and which He has brought by example into the world.  He teaches us to share His light.  All of this, in the end, is about the kind of love He teaches by example; it is a love that takes us further, that gives us new standards, that helps us to truly see and to illuminate the world for others as well.  Despite Peter's weakness and denials, Peter will go on to be a martyr for this particular love.  And so, it's important that we remember today that Christ teaches us who we are, and most especially that means what we're capable of being and doing.  We can love like He loves, too.  We can love His truth, we can bring it to others, we can be set free from a kind of slavery to lies, and false truth, and demagoguery that says that life can't get any better than a flawed system of willful blindness to love.  Christ gives us a measuring stick, Himself, but most of all He gives us His love and grace, which is always "on call" for us when we have doubts about how to proceed, how to decide, and what love is in any particular situation.  Oh, we're not expected to be perfect in the sense that we don't have a long ways to go.  Look at Peter, the denial we start from today, and the martyrdom that will come later on as the powerful apostle meets his death at Rome.  But we are on a road.  And we are on a road with Him, the Good Shepherd, the Teacher, the One who loves us, lays down His life for us as His friends, and teaches us how to be like Him.  And that's the important thing -- that we are on that road, and we start today, with His love which He shares with us and teaches us to share with others.  It is love inside of us that teaches us to follow Him.